What have we done to our bodies?--Kaitlyn

 

I've never accepted my appearance. Even as a six-year-old, I looked in the mirror and noticed hairy arms and legs. My stomach didn't stretch against my body. I had broad eyebrows and a dark fuzz on my lip. I was never good enough, yet the point of reflection hadn't been as severe as altering my way of life. However, when I was nine, it began when I swore off any bottoms other than pants. I noticed my thighs bulking and my body widening, and the idea of exposing these changes to my fourth-grade crush kept me up at night. I pictured myself as social perfection in my dreams, and waking up to reality was disheartening. What is wrong with my body?

When she took me back to school shopping in fifth grade, my mom had picked out a dress at Kohl's. Unfortunately, it cut off at the knee. The legs that earned me the nickname "Werewolf" were exposed to the world. How do I fix my body?

It took weeks of convincing, but I could shave my legs at eleven years old. It wasn't because I liked the sensation of smooth skin. It was because, as an eleven-year-old adolescent, I felt the pressure to conform to societal beauty standards. At eleven years old, my body needed alterations to satisfy those around me. What have you done to my body?

Insecurities and social pressure followed me through middle school, but in high school, it became lethal. After Covid-19 sent us home for the rest of sophomore year, my father required that I record my weight every morning to ensure I wouldn't gain weight. My mornings began with a reminder text from both my dad and his wife, reiterating the consequences of gaining weight. If the scale were to perform against my father's wishes, I would work out thirty minutes longer than the half-hour session required each night. Afraid of the repercussions, the idea of restriction and starvation came about. My caloric consumption trickled slowly. Two thousand to one thousand five hundred. One thousand five hundred to one thousand two hundred. Finally, eating more than 800 calories a day resulted in purging or episodic guilt. What have I done to my body?

Today's “Kylie Jenner” beauty standard has set unrealistic expectations for adults and young children. The pressures to portray a toned stomach and plumped glutes have reached women of all ages and backgrounds, creating an idea that bodies unidentical to those displayed on fashion magazines or Instagram feeds are incompetent. Starvation and other forms of self-harm are infiltrating our minds like a virus. We strive for external validation at the expense of our emotional, mental, and physical health. What have we done to our bodies?