Untitled--Julissa

 

The rain came down hard that night. I remember falling asleep to the rhythmic beating of the water droplets on the pavement from outside. The faint, yet powerful rumble of thunder, the flashes of lightning illuminating my room in my childhood home. I felt peaceful while I slept, like everything in my life had made sense in that exact moment, that I was right where I needed to be. I dreamt of a promising future, one where I could finally be truly happy, without the strings that normally come attached to it. Oh how I should’ve known. I woke up at four a.m. that night, irritated that I couldn’t get the full night’s rest that I worked so hard for that week. I smiled to myself, remembering that it was raining and decided to sit outside for a bit in hopes of making myself drowsy again. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders as I made my way towards the front door. The cold air hit me square in the face, making me giggle as I opened the door and stepped outside, pulling the door shut behind me. My childhood home had a front porch with a rocking sofa, allowing me to sit outside and enjoy the rain, like I had planned to. That was until I noticed the stranger sitting on the sofa. I was taken aback, not expecting to see someone outside since not only was it raining, but it was four in the morning. The stranger didn’t seem so unfamiliar and after a while I began to feel like I knew her.

“Are you going to sit down or just keep staring at me?” She said, breaking the silence.

“Who are you? And what are you doing on my porch?” I replied, hoping to get rid of her so I could enjoy the calming weather by myself. She turned to look at me and I gasped. Sure enough the woman sitting in front of me looked just like me. The same cocky smirk, the same arched eyebrow, the same determined look in her eyes. It was me, just slightly older and tired looking.

“I promise to explain everything, just have a seat.” She answered, dodging the answers I wanted. I should have felt taken aback from what I saw in front of me, like any sane person would have, but I couldn’t help but feel curious, and deep down part of me felt calm, like this was completely normal or something that I knew was going to happen. I walked towards her and sat down, both of us turning to watch the rain pour down. “It’s still my favorite weather, you know.”

“I never doubted that it would change.” I stated back, amusement in my tone.
“I thought about the best opportunity to reach out to you, to...” She trailed off. “To...”
“To warn you.” Silence takes over for a bit, allowing me to process what was just said. “I remember this night, it was one of my favorites before my life, our life, started falling apart. I figured if this went south you could chalk it up to a weird dream.”

“Warn me about what?” I asked, curiosity and dread flowing through me.

“Mosciski, the group you helped take down. They’re more than just a weapons company.”

“Oh.”
“Oh? That's it? I must’ve really underestimated my younger self.” She chuckled. 

“Wait so you’re from the future?” I questioned as I turned to look at her for the first time since I’ve sat down.

“Yes, about ten years from now.” She replied, turning to look at me. I see the tenseness in her facial features, the delicate ones long replaced by the hard ten years she endured. Her eyes pierced mine and conveyed everything that she can’t say out loud. The pain, the tragedy, the bravery. She dropped her head and turned back forward. “They’ll come for you, you know? They want revenge, and believe me when I say they’ll take out everything in their way to get to you. You have to be ready.” She urged.

“Why? Why warn me? Doesn’t this break the biggest basic universal laws?” I rushed out, dread filling my stomach.

“Because I vowed that I would always protect my inner child, my inner light, and I failed. It’s still within you, and I’d risk everything to get it back.” She answered, her voice quivering in the process. I stayed silent, letting my mind wrap around everything she laid out. She interrupts my thoughts, “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life is what dies inside us while we’re alive.”

“Wow, so philosophical.” I replied sarcastically.

“Thanks, I coined it from Norma Cousin.” She laughed. We sat in silence for a while longer, until she announced that she had to go. “I can’t stay much longer, they’ll know I’m gone.”

“Okay.” I answered back, my voice just barely below a whisper.

“Promise me you’ll fight back. Promise me you won’t let them take it away from you.”

“I promise.” Our eyes met one last time before she stepped out into the rain, disappearing through a blue circle. I sat in silence for a while longer pondering what just happened.

That was fifteen years ago. I stand in the middle of the abandoned warehouse that I turned into my home, looking out of the window into the wet city below. I take my black rain coat and walk out into the dark. I walk the same route I take every time I go to see you, the same route I’ve been walking through for the past five years. I come to my destination and walk through the gate, weaving through stones and potholes on the ground. I walk towards you, wondering if the woman who came to see me all those years ago would know it would end this way. Did she know that this was the price of my soul? Because if you ask me, I would gladly lose my inner light just to see you live your life. But now I look down upon you remembering the night I wasn’t quick enough to save you. The pleas and screams that filled my ears, while I watched them take you from me. God, did the rain come down hard that night.