Why Them Over Us?--EJ

So this is a story of how I learned not to give a single damn about what people think about me and how I live my life and how I saw what unconditional love really feels like. So this story will get deep, so I was born in the Philippines and lived there for a good 7-8 years, so I grew up there knowing that, that is the place is where I will grow up in and live my life. I had a loving family, a mom, a dad, and five siblings, I had a good life. (Here’s where it get deep) My dad left us, he cheated and at the time I didn’t know what was happening I was only 7 or 8. The time that really set us off was at a family reunion. We went by ourselves without our dad and we were having a good time, seeing all the uncles, the aunties, cousins, etc. Yet, he comes and brings his new “girl”, she goes and talks to all our family like she has known them for years and started to talk major crap about my mom and say that she assaulted her, (note my mom doesn’t get violent, she’s a pacifist) All I remember was that my mom told me that we are going to go home now and leave the place. At the time, I did not want to go because I was having fun with my cousins and all. Yet she grabbed my arm and we went to the car. Once we got outside and went to the car I started to see and hear her cry. I did not know why but then I heard them talk about my dad and what he did and I won’t forget that day because that’s the day that I started to ask myself, “why them over us?” You had a good life with us and we had a great time together, I was your little man, (I’m the only boy), why did you have to do what you did? I felt like a piece of trash, not wanted, used. I did not want to live anymore, live a life where I will just be thrown out by my own dad.
Then we moved, my mom and I packed up our things and moved here to Rancho Cucamonga California to live with my sister. At this time I just turned 9 but the question still followed me even though I was thousands of miles away from him. When I was in elementary, I saw people with there dads and I was asked where mine was, I would say I have no idea, he’s somewhere. This period of time for me was very stressful, now looking back at it, I just move and I had to assimilate to a new culture, new language, just new everything. It would’ve been easier if I had that father like figure there with me to help me out, but no all I had was my mom, my sister, and her husband. When I went to middle school everything turned to the worse, I started to get depressed, sometimes suicidal, just because he chose them over us. That was my excuse at the time, he left me so I don’t know how to live life. Yet, I found a loving group of friends, I found God, I found out that I don't need my biological dad to be the father figure, I can see that the people who were once strangers, turned uncle became like my dad.
These people who were once strangers taking time out of there day to go and teach me the life lessons that I would have missed out on if I never turned from being that “emo” kid in middle school to the person you(the reader/my friends) see now. So earlier I said that this is a story about how I learned not to give a single damn about what people think or how I live my life, well It was because of all of this that I was able to learn that. I won’t let others actions dictate how I live my life, I will do as I please. Do it in honor of my Mom. She is my rock and she will always be there for me. She never left me even though sometimes I told her to just leave me, that I didn’t need her. She showed unconditional love to me. I know like this story is me ranting (and I kinda am) but that’s how I get my point across. Well, I want to leave you with this, whatever people have done to you, don’t let it dictate your life, don’t let it consume you like how

it consumed me, almost causing me to lose my life, (I never did anything pass cutting trust me). Y’all have a good one and sorry if this seems like a rant, God Bless!