Routine--Caden

At 4:45 a.m., waking up to the smell of coffee and subtle hints of cologne had become
routine. I was never allowed to use my own bathroom; my older sister had completely taken it over, forcing me to use the shower connected to my parent’s room every morning. As I walked past the dense smell of espresso, through the kitchen and living room, I’d flick myself in the head in hopes of not falling asleep. I approached the opening leading into my parent’s room and, as happened every morning, his bright and smiling face would greet me. Living in the mountains was no easy feat, especially considering the fact that my dad and I both had to drive 30 minutes to town each morning (work for him, school for me). He never failed to say a heartfelt goodbye, making sure I knew how much he loved me before heading out. I’d sleepily return the goodbye and tell him to be safe on the icy roads.
The sun was never up; zero period made it seem like I was living most of my life in the nighttime. I drive along the 40 Interstate from my house in Sedillo to my school on the Southeast edge of Albuquerque, going 35 mph as thick snow and quick wind attempt to tear open my car. This was routine. I was listening to the same CD as every other morning (I only had one CD, my car didn’t have aux). I had memorized every single lyric, every interjecting “yeah”, all of the harmonies to the choruses. It was always a long drive: so long that sometimes I could listen to the whole CD! However, this was not routine.
As I take the exit leading to school, I gaze upon the massive, brilliant lights illuminating the stadium. We were really going to practice outside? AGAIN? Nevertheless, I hold my tongue, knowing that I was doing what I loved. It’s over in an instant; we did the same thing we did every other morning. Throw a rounded wooden stick at a piece of circular kevlar, let it rebound, and repeat. Repeat in such a manner that each strike has EXACTLY the same amount of velocity as the one before it. Each stroke has even space between it, creating what we call “rhythm”. We carry this rhythm inside of us, creating an “internal tempo”; a separate heartbeat.
It’s all over; we go inside to put away our equipment and get warm in our enormous coats. The bell rings to go to first period...I sketch a few bars of music in my chemistry notebook... then second bell... falling asleep in World History as snow gives the windows freckles... third bell... this was all routine. Almost everyday except Tuesday I would go to work until 8, count by the hours while the scent of vinegar glass cleaner burns my nostrils. Go home, shower, do homework, go to sleep... I had done this all before.
But where did the unexpectedness of each individual day go? What did I aspire to be? How was I going to live the most fulfilling life possible?
These questions haunt my mind as I continue to go day-by-day... I’m losing time... hour by hour... where did the day go? Shower, do homework, go to sleep...
But wait. There is so much out there... so much that I need to experience...
What is going to happen after High School? All I ever hear about is people failing to accomplish their dreams; under the illusion that as long as they have a stable job with lots of money, they will be happy. Maybe that is the case for some, but not for me. No. I want so much

more. But how am I going to do it? It’s so competitive... I need to have connections... there will always be someone better... I can’t possibly do it... I should just give up...
Take a minute. Catch my breath. Watch as the dancing snowflakes scatter lightly against my window; inhale deeply as the scent of wet pine fills my nose. I’m overthinking again. As I unravel the thoughts that have been tangled in my mind for months, I realize how much I have been taking for granted. The thick scent of espresso, a warming goodbye...
Though our time on Earth is limited, our willingness to achieve is not. As humans, we often allow our lives to become so hectic that we forget what makes us who we are. Along with this, we forget to treat those around us with kindness and respect. Hold on to your individuality and love one another. Find the bright side of all situations, even if failure seems definite.