Pages


Wednesday, March 21, 2018

The Green Box--Tristin


A box now sits in my study. It had arrived in a peculiar manner this afternoon. One second I was eating my crumpets then suddenly I saw something in the corner of my eye, something...abnormal. I turn around suddenly, trying to see what has caught my interest but nothing is there. I shake my head. Must be a reflection of the light. I glance back to where I have dropped my crumpets in the flurry of motion that had occured before and there now sits a box. This box was green. ‘Was’ I say because it has now changed..just like me. At that one moment when I had saw the box sitting in front of me, I had no clue how much my life was about to change. How much I was about to lose. How long till it was all over. Before I continue, I must tell you one thing. If you ever see a green box sitting innocently in front of you, run. Do not look back. Do not spend time gathering clothes or valued possessions. Because what happens as a result of this simple box is far worse than anything you can possibly think of. Trust me, for I tell you that I am still paying the price of my actions.
Now back to the moment I saw the box in front of me. I reach out to touch the box and the box touched me. The box was no longer a box but a complex matrix of moving metal. Blue light emitted from its center as it rose from the ground. The faster it turned, the more I had grown frightened. Then it hit me. Imagine the toughest person in the football team hitting you repeatedly, and you can get a little idea of how I had just felt. I could see nothing as the intensity of pain grew in level in every passing second. Then it stopped. I can hear my heart beating, then I don’t. I panic. Lights flash in my vision as I start hyperventilating. “Help” I croak out before I see nothing more.
I open my eyes, looking around to regain my bearings. Memories of what had just happened begin to return to me as I stand up. The box, where is the box. There it sits, innocently, wrapped in green, staring at me. It now looks nothing like what had attacked me before. I sigh. “I need a vacation” I mumbly say as I pour the remaining coffee into a mug while eyeing the box. I glance outside and see the sun begin to set. Day changes to Night and I change as well.
As the sun finally set, drums begin to beat into my ears. Thump! Thump! Thump! My heart starts beating again. I didn’t realise that it hadn’t before now, but I wish it would stop. Faster my heart goes and the race to match. Voices speak in a language felt long forgotten. My legs fails me and I collapse to the ground once more. “No” I said through clenched teeth. I begin to rise slowly.  An unseen weight pushes against my back making me stumble but i regain my footing. “NO” I scream and the weight increases tenfold. No longer could I resist to such a burden and I fall to the ground. Here I lay helpless as the drums beat and the weight forces itself upon me. It does not just hurt me physically but mentally as well. My mind lays in piece on a brink of a coma but it doesn’t grant me the mercy of such a way out. Time ticks by. Second, minutes, hours, I could never tell.
As fast as the pain appeared, it begin to dissipate. The drumming slowed to a low murmur and the voices were gone. As I begin to fade into the blessed coma, I realise that it was morning. Before I could realise the significance of this, I was gone.
Sunlight pierced my eyelids as I began to wake up. What time was it? It was 6:45pm, the sun was shining bring but not for too much longer. I walked to the study to see if the cursed box that started this is still there. It sits there, mocking me. Taunting me for my weakness. Whispering promises and truths that no other mortal could know. Strings of unnatural darkness creep into my vision. The voices begin shouting all at once, then everything stopped. The box sat there normally and the sun was still setting on the horizon. I stare at the sun. What had I been thinking. I sit there, waiting, mesmerised by the sunset, as if this was the last one i would ever see. The drums begin to beat. Thump! Thump! Thump! “No” I whisper. Faster the drums beat and the haunting unknown voices start there chant. The sun! It's the sun I realise in elation and fear. The sun leaving causes thi-. Before I could complete my thought, it began once more.
And it continued to do this, on and on, for the next fifty-six years of my life. Night and Day. Sunset and Sunrise. I have tried to escape it. I tried burning the box, dropping it in the ocean, burying it, exploding it, but it won’t leave me alone. Why Won’t It Leave Me Alone! I’ve tried cooperating. Taking its torture without complaint, but it is ever mercyless. I come to you now, staring at this blasted box that sits in my study, and tell you that I will not live forever, for thats the boxes only mercy, and I know when I’m gone it will find another. So if you see a green box appear before you, run.

11 comments:

  1. I love this flash fiction! I could not stop reading until the end, you had me at the very start with the great detail and imagery. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice piece. Great usage of diction and imagery which causes the reader to see the depth of the story. Very good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your piece was great! The mystery of the box had me hooked and I almost want more. Your description and imagery brought the story to life.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the vivid imagery throughout the piece. I honestly couldn't stop reading this piece because of how surprisingly interesting it was.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great use of imagery and diction. Very detailed and draws the reader in with the descriptive details.

    Lizzie griffin

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really like your story,it is very intriguing and once you start reading it it is hard to stop until the end. Great job.
    - Jenna Jensen, P.3

    ReplyDelete
  7. I really enjoyed reading this flash fiction, it kept me wanting to read because of the descriptive details and diction. The imagery used kept me interested.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love how you use the present tense to describe how the character has been haunted by the box in both the past and present. By using the present tense when discussing the past, it increases the suspense and allows the audience to experience the box's torture from the speaker's perspective.

    -Lauren Whightsil

    ReplyDelete
  9. Excellent piece! Very nice and refreshing form of writing on the blog.-Jaden Dawson

    ReplyDelete
  10. I loved this piece. It was very unique compared to many other flash fictions i have read and I applaud you for that. The point of view from which the story was told is what really made this piece stand out for me because I felt like the narrator was really telling me a story. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love the creativity, and great job on creating the strong and vivid images in this story to truly help the reader visualize each scene. I thought it was cool you broke the fourth wall at the end with a warning to your audience and the readers to run if they see a green box. Your words leave a mark.
    --UNITY MONTALVO, PERIOD 4

    ReplyDelete