A box now sits in
my study. It had arrived in a peculiar manner this afternoon. One second I was
eating my crumpets then suddenly I saw something in the corner of my eye,
something...abnormal. I turn around suddenly, trying to see what has caught my
interest but nothing is there. I shake my head. Must be a reflection of the
light. I glance back to where I have dropped my crumpets in the flurry of
motion that had occured before and there now sits a box. This box was green.
‘Was’ I say because it has now changed..just like me. At that one moment when I
had saw the box sitting in front of me, I had no clue how much my life was
about to change. How much I was about to lose. How long till it was all over.
Before I continue, I must tell you one thing. If you ever see a green box
sitting innocently in front of you, run. Do not look back. Do not spend time
gathering clothes or valued possessions. Because what happens as a result of
this simple box is far worse than anything you can possibly think of. Trust me,
for I tell you that I am still paying the price of my actions.
Now back to the
moment I saw the box in front of me. I reach out to touch the box and the box
touched me. The box was no longer a box but a complex matrix of moving metal.
Blue light emitted from its center as it rose from the ground. The faster it
turned, the more I had grown frightened. Then it hit me. Imagine the toughest
person in the football team hitting you repeatedly, and you can get a little
idea of how I had just felt. I could see nothing as the intensity of pain grew
in level in every passing second. Then it stopped. I can hear my heart beating,
then I don’t. I panic. Lights flash in my vision as I start hyperventilating.
“Help” I croak out before I see nothing more.
I open my eyes,
looking around to regain my bearings. Memories of what had just happened begin
to return to me as I stand up. The box, where is the box. There it sits,
innocently, wrapped in green, staring at me. It now looks nothing like what had
attacked me before. I sigh. “I need a vacation” I mumbly say as I pour the
remaining coffee into a mug while eyeing the box. I glance outside and see the
sun begin to set. Day changes to Night and I change as well.
As the sun finally
set, drums begin to beat into my ears. Thump! Thump! Thump! My heart starts
beating again. I didn’t realise that it hadn’t before now, but I wish it would
stop. Faster my heart goes and the race to match. Voices speak in a language
felt long forgotten. My legs fails me and I collapse to the ground once more.
“No” I said through clenched teeth. I begin to rise slowly. An unseen weight pushes against my back
making me stumble but i regain my footing. “NO” I scream and the weight
increases tenfold. No longer could I resist to such a burden and I fall to the
ground. Here I lay helpless as the drums beat and the weight forces itself upon
me. It does not just hurt me physically but mentally as well. My mind lays in
piece on a brink of a coma but it doesn’t grant me the mercy of such a way out.
Time ticks by. Second, minutes, hours, I could never tell.
As fast as the pain
appeared, it begin to dissipate. The drumming slowed to a low murmur and the
voices were gone. As I begin to fade into the blessed coma, I realise that it
was morning. Before I could realise the significance of this, I was gone.
Sunlight pierced my
eyelids as I began to wake up. What time was it? It was 6:45pm, the sun was
shining bring but not for too much longer. I walked to the study to see if the
cursed box that started this is still there. It sits there, mocking me.
Taunting me for my weakness. Whispering promises and truths that no other
mortal could know. Strings of unnatural darkness creep into my vision. The
voices begin shouting all at once, then everything stopped. The box sat there
normally and the sun was still setting on the horizon. I stare at the sun. What
had I been thinking. I sit there, waiting, mesmerised by the sunset, as if this
was the last one i would ever see. The drums begin to beat. Thump! Thump!
Thump! “No” I whisper. Faster the drums beat and the haunting unknown voices
start there chant. The sun! It's the sun I realise in elation and fear. The sun
leaving causes thi-. Before I could complete my thought, it began once more.
And it continued to
do this, on and on, for the next fifty-six years of my life. Night and Day.
Sunset and Sunrise. I have tried to escape it. I tried burning the box,
dropping it in the ocean, burying it, exploding it, but it won’t leave me
alone. Why Won’t It Leave Me Alone! I’ve tried cooperating. Taking its torture
without complaint, but it is ever mercyless. I come to you now, staring at this
blasted box that sits in my study, and tell you that I will not live forever,
for thats the boxes only mercy, and I know when I’m gone it will find another.
So if you see a green box appear before you, run.
I love this flash fiction! I could not stop reading until the end, you had me at the very start with the great detail and imagery. Great job!
ReplyDeleteNice piece. Great usage of diction and imagery which causes the reader to see the depth of the story. Very good.
ReplyDeleteYour piece was great! The mystery of the box had me hooked and I almost want more. Your description and imagery brought the story to life.
ReplyDeleteI love the vivid imagery throughout the piece. I honestly couldn't stop reading this piece because of how surprisingly interesting it was.
ReplyDeleteGreat use of imagery and diction. Very detailed and draws the reader in with the descriptive details.
ReplyDeleteLizzie griffin
I really like your story,it is very intriguing and once you start reading it it is hard to stop until the end. Great job.
ReplyDelete- Jenna Jensen, P.3
I really enjoyed reading this flash fiction, it kept me wanting to read because of the descriptive details and diction. The imagery used kept me interested.
ReplyDeleteI love how you use the present tense to describe how the character has been haunted by the box in both the past and present. By using the present tense when discussing the past, it increases the suspense and allows the audience to experience the box's torture from the speaker's perspective.
ReplyDelete-Lauren Whightsil
Excellent piece! Very nice and refreshing form of writing on the blog.-Jaden Dawson
ReplyDeleteI loved this piece. It was very unique compared to many other flash fictions i have read and I applaud you for that. The point of view from which the story was told is what really made this piece stand out for me because I felt like the narrator was really telling me a story. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI love the creativity, and great job on creating the strong and vivid images in this story to truly help the reader visualize each scene. I thought it was cool you broke the fourth wall at the end with a warning to your audience and the readers to run if they see a green box. Your words leave a mark.
ReplyDelete--UNITY MONTALVO, PERIOD 4