I woke up in a strange place and had no idea how I even ended up there. Perhaps I had way too
much fun yesterday, who knows I mean it was a Saturday night. Anyway, I don’t even know where I am, nothing in this house looks like anything in my house. I try to make out the house, I see a mattress, covered with a brown wooden bed frame, next to a desk with a clutter of pencils, pens and papers. I make my downstairs and I find an object I have never seen before, a gun. A pistol to be exact, not knowing what to do, I leave it alone. So far, I’ve had no interaction with anyone in this new place. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Bullets had been fired just outside and someone has just fallen on the ground. I grab the pistol in case a person tries to get me next and hide in the bedroom I woke up in. Fearing for my life, my mind starts traveling in 100 different ways at once. Endless waiting and waiting and waiting, as time passes by, I calm down. I decide to look further in my house and try to look outside and examine my surroundings. I make my way downstairs again and look out the window, green hills, grass and open fields surround me. Then, I spot another house just across the one I woke up in, a different color and hopefully better hiding places. I check all angles to make sure I see nobody and make a break for it. I run as hard and fast as I can and burst my way in. I cover my tracks my closing the door, making it look like nobody’s here. I notice a backpack on the floor and pick it up, finding a first-aid kit inside, some food and water. Craving food since I hadn’t eaten at all, I scarf down the food and drink all the water. I make my way upstairs, checking every corner along the way. I come up on a closed door and fearing the worst, I knock to see if I can find a fellow stranger like me. I knock, silence. Trembling, I decide to brave it out and burst in, trying to figure how to load my gun. Finally figuring it out, I cock it and point for intimidation. No one is there but I find a shotgun, already loaded. I put the pistol in my backpack and look throughout the house. Finding nothing upstairs, I make my downstairs and outside I see a basement. Braving it, I delve deeper into this mysterious place in the world and look through, finding yet another gun, this time what looks an M16. I head back up and I suddenly start feeling gruesome, burning pain. I look around to see if anyone is there and it seems no one is around me. Then I notice something, everything around me just got darker and the further back I look, the darker it is. I brace myself and run straight into an open field and realise I’m not being hurt anymore. I try to bandage myself up but there’s no
much fun yesterday, who knows I mean it was a Saturday night. Anyway, I don’t even know where I am, nothing in this house looks like anything in my house. I try to make out the house, I see a mattress, covered with a brown wooden bed frame, next to a desk with a clutter of pencils, pens and papers. I make my downstairs and I find an object I have never seen before, a gun. A pistol to be exact, not knowing what to do, I leave it alone. So far, I’ve had no interaction with anyone in this new place. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Bullets had been fired just outside and someone has just fallen on the ground. I grab the pistol in case a person tries to get me next and hide in the bedroom I woke up in. Fearing for my life, my mind starts traveling in 100 different ways at once. Endless waiting and waiting and waiting, as time passes by, I calm down. I decide to look further in my house and try to look outside and examine my surroundings. I make my way downstairs again and look out the window, green hills, grass and open fields surround me. Then, I spot another house just across the one I woke up in, a different color and hopefully better hiding places. I check all angles to make sure I see nobody and make a break for it. I run as hard and fast as I can and burst my way in. I cover my tracks my closing the door, making it look like nobody’s here. I notice a backpack on the floor and pick it up, finding a first-aid kit inside, some food and water. Craving food since I hadn’t eaten at all, I scarf down the food and drink all the water. I make my way upstairs, checking every corner along the way. I come up on a closed door and fearing the worst, I knock to see if I can find a fellow stranger like me. I knock, silence. Trembling, I decide to brave it out and burst in, trying to figure how to load my gun. Finally figuring it out, I cock it and point for intimidation. No one is there but I find a shotgun, already loaded. I put the pistol in my backpack and look throughout the house. Finding nothing upstairs, I make my downstairs and outside I see a basement. Braving it, I delve deeper into this mysterious place in the world and look through, finding yet another gun, this time what looks an M16. I head back up and I suddenly start feeling gruesome, burning pain. I look around to see if anyone is there and it seems no one is around me. Then I notice something, everything around me just got darker and the further back I look, the darker it is. I brace myself and run straight into an open field and realise I’m not being hurt anymore. I try to bandage myself up but there’s no
cuts or bruises on my body. Suddenly, I hear footsteps that seem to be coming closer and fearing
for my life, I grab my shotgun and keep it at the ready. Nothing happens, either he has left or he
saw me and is waiting. Nervous, I slowly edge my way close to the edge of the stairs, peeking to
see if someone is there. Wait! Someone is there, from what I can make out, he appears to have
some type of armor, medieval it looks like, all black, including a black helmet with piercing red
eyes that look like they can end anything they see. Without hesitation, we both hear something
and he takes off. He looked terrifying but I wanting to see where he goes, I follow from a
distance. However, I come to see that he stands over someone and is searching through their
things, taking what he can find and quickly moving, checking over his shoulder every second.
Curious, I lean forward more and knock down something, jumping from pure shock. In an
instant, he turns around, looks at me and starts unloading a gun that sounds like it came from hell
itself. In a couple of seconds, here he is now and is searching through my things, murmuring
while he does it. I close my eyes and hope for the best until the day restarts again. Now, some of
you have realised, I have just described to you my first Fortnite game, which clearly went
horribly.
That is a great story, and I know exactly what you are talking about. This was super fun to read and was pretty funny when I read the last few lines.
ReplyDeleteWow, I was so invested in your story and then you pulled out the Fortnite plot twist. I thought you were very descriptive in your explanation of the scenario the narrator is stuck in, making the reader feel their anxiety and tension. Well done
ReplyDeleteThe unknown setting instantly got me thinking. My mind too was wondering where and what was happening. That Fortnite twist at the end really made every puzzling piece fit together. Nice story.
ReplyDeleteThis was really intriguing and suspenseful. As someone who's never played Fortnite, the twist at the end was unexpected, but hilarious nonetheless, so thanks for a very good read. - Fatima J.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! I've heard all the rage about this new game and personally I don't play it but I have a younger brother and friends that do and talk about it. At first I thought you were in a apocalyptic situation because of all the guns and the backpack with food and water but then the medieval guy appeared all of a sudden and at that point I had no idea what was going on. I love that you reveal that it was all just a game experience in the end that explains the confusion of everything that happen.Great job -Genesis Mendoza P.3
ReplyDeleteThe context of this piece made it suspenseful and took me off guard as i tried to depict what was happening, which kept me reading it more. Great use of imagery and the unexpected outcome for the anticipated build up it provided. Well done
ReplyDeleteYour story was so intriguing, I had no idea that this was about fortnite until the last few lines. Your descriptions made the reader feel the tension as if they were in the story. Great job.
ReplyDelete-Alanah Arteaga
Oh my goodness what a plot twist. I really thought this was going to end as some weird dream about medieval times but you definitely shocked me at the end. Your piece was good at leaving the reader hanging onto the suspense and keeping them intrigued enough to continue! Great job and hilarious ending.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story, a little comedic but enjoyaable. A bit of a switch up but it kept me entertained. I like it. -Jordan S
ReplyDeleteThis piece was pretty interesting, I was confused about what exactly was going on until the lines, "green hills, grass, and open fields around me." when I read that I knew it was Fortnite. It was very creative and the ending had a good twist to it.
ReplyDeleteI didn't expect this moment, you shared, to be in a game but a dream due to the emotions and series of events you mentioned. Good job on this piece. - Amy Lau
ReplyDeleteWow this is a really great story! I love the anticipation and I really love the fortnite plot twist used. You were also very descriptive while telling the story.
ReplyDeleteI found your story to be very imaginative and I began to become very invested in the main character's survival. I was not expecting that Fortnite plot twist whatsoever, it made me laugh so well done! -Chloe M.
ReplyDeleteI didnt expect this story to end with it being in a game. My first thought was like a zombie apocalypse but it was entertaining to read this and it just left me what to see what happens after. There was great use of imagery and diction of describing the scene and how it tied it all together with it being humorous of it being your Fortnite game. Great Job, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE FORTNITE!!!! This was so much fun for me to read. It was so interesting all the way through. My first game was also very similar. Keep up the great work!-Jesse Jauregui
ReplyDeleteI love the amount of suspense that builds up by the end. The descriptive word choice creates a lot of anticipation for how the story will end. The unexpected ending turns the piece into comedy when you re-read it again.
ReplyDeleteWow. I almost feel like I've been tricked. I applaud you for the detail you put into this, the descriptions did a good job of effectively painting the scene. I've played Fortnight once but never found the motivation to try it again, I think this piece might have just been the push I've been needing. Great job
ReplyDeleteI honestly didn’t expect the end. At first, i thought you woke up after a crazy night out and ended up with a stranger, but that definitely wasn’t the case. Towards the end when you said, “I close my eyes and hole for the best until the day restarts again” I thought of the movie Happy Death Day, but then you said it was your first Fortnite game. I did enjoy reading this.
ReplyDeleteYES I LOVE FORTNITE, while reading throughout it i was thinking, this sounds very familiar, and i was right!! Tons of imagery and suspense, one of my favorite reads so far since the beginning of the year. Keep up the good work i loved this piece!!
ReplyDelete-Michael Hernandez
Behrouz, when first reading this, I was engrossed in the suspense and action. I never expected the events you described to be your first Fortnite experience, but once I reread the piece, it all made sense. I enjoyed how you were so detailed in your descriptions of the setting and your character's actions. I admire that you even went so far as to what the character would be thinking at each moment ('How did I end up here?" and feelings of hunger and nervousness).
ReplyDelete-Lauren Whightsil
This was absolutely amazing. I thought it was going somewhere really deep, as if the character was actually dead or something along those lines but the end had me cracking up. The relevancy of that game and now looking back realizing how accurate the descriptions were made the piece all the more better.
ReplyDeleteLove how everything came together by the end. An enjoyable read and hoe to see more writings from you. -Jaden Dawson
ReplyDeletethis story was giving me nerves i was so anxious to see what would happen next. I felt like i was in a thriller movie and your imagery was really inspiring because of how suspenseful it was.
ReplyDelete-Sasha Hodder
AHAHAHHHA that plot twist at the end!! This piece really kept my attention with the suspense!! How it turned out to be a fortnite game was hilarious. This piece was well written.
ReplyDelete-Candice Velasco
I love how you added fortnite into the story, keeping me hooked and your twist was amazing.
ReplyDeletethis is great! So completely relevant to the right now because of the how many people are playing, including me. Also, my first round was awful and I have yet to get anywhere near to winning.
ReplyDeletethis was a very great piece and i like how you included fortnite since its so popular today. -lexy m
ReplyDelete