She--Jazmin

Growing up she felt as if she always lived in a cold shadow and that everyone was out to get her. It all started on July 20th, 2015 when her world fell apart. She had a best friend who happened to be her brother and he was the reason she was so strong. Every morning at 5:00 a.m, he would wake her, pick her up, and carry her to the restroom knowing she was unmotivated and just needed a little push. Whenever she would want to stop and give up, he kept pushing her to keep going. She shared her deepest secrets and her happiest moments with him late at night with ice cream. Everyday was the same routine but always better and different each day. That was until her brother joined the military and decided he wanted to be apart of the Marine Corps family. July 20th, 2015 he left to boot camp and was going to be gone for three months. It was the drive home leaving him behind in Oceanside when she had realized she had felt empty inside. It was almost as if half of her stayed behind with him. That same night her mom entered her room explaining to her that the house was going on the market and that they need to start packing as soon as possible. Nothing seemed to be making sense, everything was going downhill and there was nothing she could do about it. She woke up one morning at 10:00 a.m to the sound of a for sale sign being hammered into her front lawn and all she wanted was her brother to be there and do something about it but he couldn’t. To get her mind off things, she decided to go to the beach and try to relax. There she was, taking donuts after donuts in the ocean waves because the tide was too strong. She tried reaching for air but the sea kept pulling her in. She finally just gave up and let the waves win. Eyes closed, her body felt as if it was sinking into the bottom of the blue sea, somewhere so deep the water just got colder and colder and she didn’t do anything about it. It was just her and the peaceful ocean and it was time for her to just let go and give up. Her world had been crashing down little by little and she saw no reason to keep trying.But, there it was.. the sunlight shining through the cold water putting warmth on her skin giving her just a little bit of energy and hope. She overcame what she had seen as an obstacle and decided to take her days day by day hoping no one would notice her sorrow shadow from within. She carried on with a smile, pushed herself to wake up early, finished homework early, and even had a little extra time to work out to keep her going, all in which her brother taught her. There was still those few minutes of free time that always led to feeling empty and realizing how nothing ever felt the same. Three months finally passed and it was finally time to reunite with her brother. She saw him standing there with a shaved head, fresh uniform, and shiny clean shoes. She ran and ran and finally she was surrounded by his arms that were always there when she needed them. One thing that kept crossing her mind was that the newly Marine had not known that his family has moved. The whole way back home he had kept talking about how excited he was to go home but little did he know, they had sold their home. She will never forget all the anger he had brought to the table that day and she hated seeing him like that. Nothing was ever the same after that, her mom carried guilt, her brother was changed into a different man who was still her best friend but not exactly the same best friend, and as for her, she learned that although many things change including people, the happy moments and memories will never fade. She realized that all that she went through only gave her a better understanding on reality and that it’s okay if things change because nothing stays the same forever. Finally, she understood that home is where the heart is. “She”... was me.