I am the stray. I go from place to place looking for a home without any guidance. My hair
is still drenched from last night's storm. It was my first time out in the rain like that… It wasn’t
as bad as I thought it would be. I would normally be inside for this kind of thing, but ever since
Brandon left I’ve been on my own. This kind of weather reminds me of the time that he first let
me inside of his home. It was raining, like last night’s, but it wasn’t as cheerless. He took me in,
gave me a place to stay, but I knew that it wouldn’t last, it never does. Back then, things were
full of life… Like Brandon was. There was always excitement and wonder. Everyday brought a
new surprise, but now nothing is a surprise. Everyone and everything stays the same. The only
thing that seems to change is the weather, but there can only ever be two variations: Hot or Cold.
The people are kind of the same in that way, Hot or Cold. Some say hello, and some walk by, but
in the end, everyone is the same. No one actually wants to give me a home. No one would want
me in their nice, clean homes. Why would anyone want a dirty old thing like me in a place like
that? The only person that didnt mind is gone now and it doesn’t seem like the people in this
town will ever give me a chance. It’ll be dark soon so I guess it’s about that time for me took for
a place to hide from tonight’s storm. I have a feeling that tonight will be far worse that last
night’s. Tomorrow will be better. A new town, new people, new chances. Change will be good
for me, I just wish that it’d stop raining...
I really love your story because the title first implies that the narrator is a dog, a stray. He goes through this ordeal of homelessness, and is reduced the worrying about the most basic of needs, shelter. However, it is never explicitly stated that the character is a dog leading to a comparison between a homeless dog and a homeless person. This piece is amazing because you've actually highlighted the atrocious way some people view the homeless in addition to what they go through. The line about people not really wanting a "dirty" thing in their "clean" homes is especially poignant. Excellent piece.
ReplyDeleteIt’s sad that we are all like that with one another. We’re all always looking for change when no one likes what they see. Everyone and everything can never be satisfied with anything. We never find ways to include everyone because usually the more prestigious kind will prevail.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your ability to step into this character and convey feeling through such thoughtful story. For a moment I was allowed to lose track of reality and consider the truth behind the story, which is given light through your use of metaphors.
ReplyDeleteThanks! The same thing happened to me while writing it. There was a point where it got "too real", so I had to pull back a bit, but I think it's cool that it can have the same effect on other people. Thank you for reading.(: -Deric S
DeleteMy first thought for the stray was a dog, but as I read on I discovered that this undisclosed person or creature could be a plethora of things all with the same message. That people are too inclined with their "perfect" surroundings and don't anything to disrupt that, in effect being very selfish. I can see this in our society in many aspects and this story on it perfectly represents it. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteLove how you compared how people are either "hot or cold" just like the weather and being able to view the perspective through the speakers eyes, which I believe is a stray dog.
ReplyDeleteDefying social norms and "straying away" from accepted ideals is not bad at all and I like your incorporation of that theme through a first person perspective. my initial assumption of the story was much more simplistic than in actuality, and your captivating style and approach to this piece helped me to broaden my perspective on its true meaning. Good job!
ReplyDeleteYour story reminds me of "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein, which is one of my favorite books. I love your use of rain as darkness and hopelessness, and how the new town, people, and variety of other things will bring about a change that will impact the narrator in a positive way. Your use of light and dark exemplifies how we sometimes see things in the world and put them into factions, and there is no gray or tepid area.
ReplyDeleteDeric, this piece was seriously amazing! I loved the ambiguity of the speaker! I miss you man :( -Mackenzie G
ReplyDeleteSURPRISE!!I'm replying anyways. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I made it ambiguous on purpose because I felt that it was more interesting that way. Thanks for reading. -Deric S
DeleteThis piece was extraordinarily invigorating, so many messages put into this heartfelt piece of a stray dog's chronicle of living on the cold, hard streets. I felt so moved by the line on people being "Hot or Cold" because it makes you step back and take society into perspective about how we treat one another. excellent work mate!
ReplyDeleteI love the use of sensory details. I like how you implicitly told the story from a dog's perspective.
ReplyDeleteI really like how the narrator is left ambiguous. When I first read it I figured it was a dog or cat, but when I re-read it I realized maybe that wasn't so. I also really liked the comparison of people and weather because people, like weather, are never 100% predictable. You could forecast sunshine and happiness but then be disappointed with rain.
ReplyDeleteI really love this story because i think every person can interpret it in a different way. I thought of it as a stray dog i love all the feelings and details you put in such a great story.
ReplyDelete-Melanie Salazar
This story really resonated with me and I think it's great! The ending really stood out to me, and I think the fact that you made it a point to show the narrator's optimism is powerful. It is important and sometimes very difficult to stay positive through hard times. For that reason, I think the character's outlook on tomorrow really demonstrates his/her strength and gives them depth. Despite their seemingly endless struggles, they have still held on to their hope.
ReplyDelete-Yareli
Your piece has a really powerful message. I think it's really unfortunate how a lot of people see homeless people as lower than them and to a certain extent pretty much like a stray animal as you put it. Well done my dude.
ReplyDeleteDescribing people as acting like the weather is a well stated. I agree with the statement because its true on how people act either good or bad. This piece is very well written, I loved it.
ReplyDeleteThere's definitely a lot to digest here. The mystery as to who or what the speaker is, gives the reader more room to think about the story. For example, if the speaker is a human being characterized as a dog, you can get a better sense of abandonment and helplessness. As for the story itself, it's very sad, and your describing people as either hot or cold adds to that sad emptiness and carelessness of some people who fail to sympathize with others and their struggles. There's a lot to learn from this if you can understand what the speaker is going through and, again, sympathize with them. I only wish that the unfazed could drop either their selfishness or obliviousness to be able to understand that. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDelete-Chris Kerwin
I came here expecting a run of the mill story about a dog and that's not what I got, I got something way better than I expected. Your story is filled with emotion and the light and dark imagery only exemplify that. This piece is amazing, you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this peice, and how open it is to various interpretations. Not once were we given a specific image of who the "stray" was, but as you read, you realize that while a stray dog's persepctive would be the most obvious choice of speaker, the speaker could be someone else.
ReplyDeleteWOW! This is an amazing piece that has touched my heart and can feel the pain of the character or how you feel.
ReplyDeleteThis story almost made me cry. It can be interpreted in many different ways and looked at differently by everyone. It was well written and made me feel the way the narrator felt
ReplyDeleteThis piece was just pouring with emotions. Very few pieces I have read in the past months have made me feel sorrow. I think your writing allows the reader to really empathize with the speaker. I think everyone has been through a similar experience that the speaker has gone through which makes this piece even more powerful. Absolutely outstanding work. -Ethan To
ReplyDeleteYou created the perfect piece. This was mysterious and yet so intimate. Truly amazing.
ReplyDelete- Andy Burgos