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Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Figment of Her Imagination--Emma


She sat waiting in anticipation just to experience this day. All she had gone through while she was alone, would be forgotten when her eyes would rest upon his face. Eighteen months ago, her husband was deployed across seas to fight a war facing the chances of never making it back alive. In such a short span of eighteen months he missed a lifetime of first occurrences back home. He missed his wife giving birth to a little girl, he missed his little girl's first Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween and a birthday, all filled with her toothless smiles he had yet to witness. Today however, a family would be reunited and introductions would occur. She awoke with glee and ache to see her husband, calmly getting dressed in her best outfit, fit for such a glorious occasion, while dressing her daughter as well. After months of only seeing pictures and trying to recall his voice while reading his letters, which took months to receive, her hungry touch for him would be satisfied. The feel of his stubble brushing against her cheek, his fingers brushing the back of her neck, tangling his fingers in her auburn hair as they learned in to kiss one another were only images swelling in her head as she drove along the highway. Upon arriving to the base, she was shaking from the anticipation of what was to come. She waited along with other families, who waited for their family member’s heads to poke out around the corner. One after another, men and women appeared but none seemed familiar to her eyes. The anticipation started to grow into dread as the line started to dwindle and all hope she had, slowly started to escape her body. As one tear stray down her cheek she saw him, one of the lasts. Body frozen, except for the shaking of her hands, he appeared at her side in seconds, taking in her body as fast as he could, grasping his child with tears streaming down his face. A family not only reunited, but together for the first time. They encompassed their child holding on to one another like they could drift apart at any moment. He looked at her, as if considering her soul. He brushed the back of her neck, allowing his stubble to brush her cheek, and in eighteen months kissed her with a fiery passion. It was the best thing she had experienced, the kiss was magical, almost too magical. Her feelings felt almost dreamlike, too perfect for reality. As she opened her eyes from the unimaginable kiss, blackness encompassed her. It seemed like this was routine to her. She would fall into a deep slumber only to dream such fantastic dreams of being reunited with her deceased husband finally introducing their only daughter to her father. All she experienced were dreams, a figment of her imagination. Three months these horrid dreams plagued her mind, three months since she last saw him being placed in his coffin.

35 comments:

  1. This story took me on such an emotional roller coaster! First, I felt the anticipation and excitement of the wife as she thought of finally reuniting with her husband and having him finally meet their baby girl. Then I felt the fear when she did not initially see him at first. Then when she found him, I felt the relief and I thought to myself that this story would have a happy ending. But the ending caught me off guard, and now I'm shook. This story really honors our armed forces and the sacrifices they and their families make to serve this country. Good job!

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  2. Well that wasn't what i thought was going to happen. But anyways, that just proves how your writing is so descriptive and captivating to the point where the ending was the last thing i was expecting. You did a great job bringing out my emotions by keeping me close to the reading and allowing me to sympathize with the main character.

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  3. This was such a strong piece, I enjoyed how descriptive you were and how you sort of tricked the reader to believing that it was a happy outcome but then it turned out to be a "figment of her imagination" and completely shifted the story.

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  4. I read this piece with wanting to know what was going to happen next. I loved your use of imagery, as well as your use of real feelings and emotions. Good job!!

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  5. I read this piece expecting an amazing happy ending that I was completely excited for and it switched so suddenly my jaw dropped! Amazing writing!! Allowing the reader to connect in only the first couple sentences!

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  6. Fantastically written and descriptive piece that definitely had me hanging on the edge for the ending. Your choice of words and images engage the reader and excellently craft a well written story. Well Done!

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  7. This piece was great! You built up the suspense twice, and really made us think that there was going to be a fairy tale ending, then you just took it away. Good use of details and imagery as well.

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  8. Wow! I am amazed at the amount of detail and imagery that you used. I was not expecting that ending in the slightest. I could not take my eyes of the screen. Fantastic job.

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  9. OMG OMG OMG!!!! This gave me crazy goose bumps!!! Even after reading the title of your piece I still was reading it as if the husband was real. So you can imagine my "heart-dropping" epiphany when the poor woman woke up to the sad nothingness. I'm not even sure what you did, but this was a very effective story.

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  10. It wasn't only the plot twist that made this story so amazing to me, but your descriptive language and unabashed way of using words. This piece is definitely something worthy of being published. Great job Emma!

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  11. Wow! I love your writing style and intensity within the descriptiveness piece. This story was so emotional spurring and had me entranced with suspense. The unexpected ending was lovely and surprisingly different than anticipated and adds excellently to your plot! Very well written and an enjoyable read, good job!

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  12. This was an amazing piece, it was so beautiful and it took and amazingly written dark twist. And i absolutely loved it. <333

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  13. The title gave me a hint that the speaker was in a dream but as soon as I read the first two sentences my heart crumbled when I realized the woman was not going to see her husband. I had a very strong connection with this piece because I have had several relatives serve our country and it brought back memories of the anticipation my family members had while awaiting their arrival. Your piece was very well written, and you made the reader feel as if they were with the speaker. Awesome job!
    -Bryanna Torres

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  14. I loved where the story went! It actually wasn't exactly what I was expecting (I expected the woman to be severely mentally ill and that the entire piece was just a fever dream) But it was truly amazing and poignant.

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  15. The piece was amazing! I really enjoyed how you were able to create a feeling of suspense and evoke such thought full details into your story. I was extremely well written.

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  16. Your use of foreshadowing towards the end was perfect. It was not so noticeable that i immediately caught on, but just enough so that the uncertainty it created kept me hooked. I also really loved the theme you chose to talk about. Writing about grief/the power of grief can be overwhelming or tricky to write about, and i think you did a beautiful job!

    -Yareli

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  17. As I was reading this piece I couldn't wait to know what was going to happen next, like i just wanted to skip lines just to know what would happen. good job i really enjoyed this piece

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  18. I really enjoyed this story! I figured that it would be about some sort of dream by the title but I was not at all expecting it to be what it was. I was really hoping the husband would get to see his wife and daughter, but when reality hit it was tragic and heartbreaking. Great Job!

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  19. This story hit close to home due to some of my own family serve our country, and that's what allowed me to really connect this piece, it was well written and intriguing!

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  20. Snap.... that twist. I was so happy when they had their magical kiss. At first I was like oh no, did he die and no one informed her????? And then he appeared and I was like YES he's here!!! However, that sudden pitch blackness appeared... so many twists, you never know what will happen. Nicely done!!

    -Vivian Chiang

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  21. I really had high hopes for her :(((((
    But as a piece of literature this was fantastic! I honestly didn't expect for it to get so dark and that's good writing, literally played with my emotions. Good Job!

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  22. I thought something would happen until he walked out, then your detains swept me up in a moment of relief, only to DESTROY THEM! You got me involved, and I admire that so much!!! Great Piece! -Mackenzie G

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  23. Oh my my heart just shattered! This piece was absolutely amazing because your writing style made me fall in love with the characters! I was intrigued by the title because I wanted to figure out what the characters could possibly be imagining; come to find out it was a dream which honestly broke my heart. But your writing style is so powerful and this piece was so well written that all I wanted to do was get more of their background and see their happy marriage before her husband left for the military! This story was unbelievably captivating, amazing job!
    -Gabbie B.

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  24. wow I actually go the chills reading this. I was so worried he wasn't going to show up, and was relieved and happy when he did. Only to have my dreams crushed (no pun intended) with your plot twist!! Really great job to be able to fake us out twice that is some skill. :) -Vanessa Lai

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  25. Wow, reading this piece I felt as if I was the woman experiencing these moments and dreams, your description and vivid detail made me go on this journey and I realized what war and fights for ones country can do one's personal life and how it can truly destroy the lives of our loved one. I felt really sympathetic for both the the woman and the daughter, because every person needs to experience and have the opportunity to live a normal life with their family. Thank you for delivering this piece, because with your piece I felt a feeling unlike any other on how grateful I am to have my family around me and not having to wait and be patient to see someone beloved to me disappear from my life with a possible chance of not returning.

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  26. Wow, the ending was unexpected. I thought it was just going to be one of those emotional happy stories about a soldier coming home but then plot twist happened and it just made the story ten times better.
    -Matthew Jimenez

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  27. I felt the emotion pouring out of this piece! After reading the title I had a feeling it wasn't the way it seemed. I really enjoyed the way you portrayed the woman's emotions from excitement and joy to complete misery.

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  28. This was extremely well written. That twist at then however, shook me to the core. Having three cousins in the the marines and air force there is always that nagging possibility that I may one day loose one of them. And the feeling this story evokes is one that I hope I never have to experience. Great job.

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  29. This is a great description of what someone feels when they lose someone, and can't stop thinking about what it would be like if they somehow came back to them. This is also a great piece with fantastic details and emotion, and also a great twist. At first, I expected the husband to be dead, and that felt confirmed when you wrote that she originally did not find him in the crowd. Then, however, the woman did find him, and I thought that was a great twist, but she woke up and realized that her husband was actually still dead, I was even more surprised that you bent the reader's expectations backwards. This is truly a great piece. Thank you
    -Chris Kerwin

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  30. What an incredible piece! I think my heart broke just from reading it, I had a bad feeling that the husband wasn't going to show up again and then the dream sequence that lulled me into a false sense of security that somehow this would be happy. It didn't end happily and that plot twist took some real skill to write, so nice job on that!

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  31. Very immersive. The emotions coupled with clear imagery make the dream a reality. Definitely not your typical homecoming story but certainly not a easy piece to swallow. Good shtuff!!!

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  32. You played my life. I knew that something this pure and innocent was too good to be true. They way you used imagery really made me think the dream was actually reality. Reminds me of the times I take a nap and wake up completely confused, thinking that I time traveled just because the Sun is gone. Excellent work! -Ethan To

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  33. Amazing, this piece held my attention the whole time on the side of the wife with same hope and anticipation she had to she her husband and damily reunited. It was well written and made me feel apart od the story. The ending hurt my heart but was also a feeling od understanding, sadness, and pity. Great job

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  34. I did not see that ending coming!! But I was really touched by the emotion behind this piece, great job!

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  35. How terrifying. To be plagued with those kinds of nightmares seems like torture and the way you built it up so well only for it to come crashing down makes it that much more heart breaking. Good use of imagery.

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