Pages


Sunday, August 30, 2015

Madii--The Reality of Life and Death



The Reality of Life and Death
By: Madelyn Duran
ACT 1: Scene 1
(Lights come up with Jackson and Amanda sitting at a table across from each other)
Jackson: I called you in to see if you can help me with something.
Amanda: And what is that?
Jackson: I need to move on.
Amanda: Move on? I don’t understand.
Jackson: You know my wife passed away.
Amanda: That was six years ago. I know what happened was hard for you, but you can’t live the rest of your life this way. You need to see someone else.
Jackson: No you don’t understand. I’ve liked her since I was twelve, we dated in high school, and married soon after. I spent my entire life with her.
Amanda: I understand that but..
(Jackson cuts Amanda off)
Jackson: No you don’t understand and you never will.
Amanda: Why do you go to her grave site every day? Why do you still wear your wedding ring?
Jackson: I never divorced her. See you won’t ever understand because you had so many boyfriends growing up. You were used to dating someone for a couple years then breaking up and finding someone new.
Amanda: My husband died too!
(Jackson remains silent)
Amanda: And I was married to him for more than a couple years. Try 26 years. That’s a more accurate number.
Jackson: You were able to have some closure. You talked to him after he died. I need that closure.
Amanda: I can’t help you.
Jackson: I know you can, don’t lie to my face. Look at me!
Amanda: This isn’t something to just play games with! Talking to the dead is a dangerous thing.
Jackson: Please I need this..
Amanda: You just don’t get it do you?
Jackson: Then explain it to me.
Amanda: Trying to communicate with spirits can trap them in a location. It’s painful for the spirit. It prolongs their period to reach heaven.
Jackson: She’s already in heaven.
Amanda: Well If I can communicate with her she’s most likely not.
Jackson: So you have seen her!
Amanda: Maybe.
Jackson: Why didn’t you tell me!
Amanda: Because I knew you would ask me to communicate with her for you.
Jackson: You’re my last hope. Come on Amanda. Please.
Amanda: (takes a deep breath) Fine.

Scene 2
(Amanda sits at the edge of the stage. She closes her eyes and breaths. Slowly, spirits come behind her and stand scattered on stage. She faces forward the whole time she talks to spirits)
Anna: My name is Anna. Can you hear me?
Amanda: I can.
Anna: I died when I was 29. I was a song writer. I loved music, art, dancing and singing.
Amanda: What happened?
Anna: I was pushed down the stairs.
Amanda:  ( Amanda puts her hand on the back of her head and looks like shes in pain) And you hit your head, blood,  it was painful for you
Jacob: I’m Jack.
Amanda: Jack Chavez.
Jacob: Yes. I was a scientist. All I remember is mixing chemicals together, maybe it spilled, or not. I don’t remember how I died.
Amanda: You remain in your death state. And you only feel the pain.
Jacob: That’s all I have to say, I’m sorry if I was an inconvenience.
Amanda: No, don’t you ever think that. I will help you pass on, I promise.
Wendy: Amanda? Is that you?
Amanda: Wendy! (Turns to Wendy) Oh I’m so glad you’re here!
Wendy: I’m healing Amanda! Look at me! I’m glowing! (Pauses) How is Jackson?
Amanda: That’s why I came here.
Wendy: He never knows that I’m there for him, I’m always with him. I’m always protecting him.
Amanda: He begged for me to come speak to you. He said he needed to move on from you.
Wendy: I don’t blame him.
Amanda: What do I do? I can’t connect you two, and then you’ll stay here forever.
Wendy: I’ll speak to him.
Amanda: That’s insane. He won’t let you go.
Wendy: I know him well and he will.
(Amanda Pauses)
Wendy: Do you trust me.
Amanda: I do.
Wendy: Then believe me when I tell you he will. Now you have to leave before spirits become attached to you.
Amanda: I’m scared Wendy, I’m scared for you.
Wendy: I have to do this. You need to have faith in me.
Amanda: I’ll try too.
(Amanda pauses then quickly leaves)

Scene 3
(Jackson is alone in his room looking through Wendy’s jewelry box and her clothes and crying over them)
Wendy: Why are you crying?
(Jackson looks at her in astonishment and doesn’t speak)
Wendy: Well talk to me, I came all the way here to see you.
(Jackson runs up to Wendy and hugs her; they sit down)
Wendy: You can’t be doing this to yourself. Life is temporary, and even for you.
Jackson: Why did you go?
Wendy: Do you think I had a choice? I love you.
Jackson: I just needed to hear that one more time.
Wendy: And I’ll never stop loving you, I’m always protecting you, I’m always watching over you, but please promise me something.
Jackson: What is that?
Wendy: You need to let me go. I need to be set free.
Jackson: (Takes a deep breath) If that’s what you need, I promise I will.
Wendy: Take my hand. (Jackson takes her hand) Remember I will never leave you.
Jackson: I know that now. I know you’re here.
Wendy: Close your eyes. Do you feel my hand in yours?
Jackson: I do.
Wendy: I need to pass on. I need to heal.
Jackson: I have to let you go.
Wendy: I trust you. (Wendy lets go of his hand and walks off stage)

Scene 4
(Amanda hands Jackson a white rose and Jackson lays the rose on Wendy’s tomb stone, Amanda leaves Jackson alone at Wendy’s tomb and he sits next to it)
Jackson: (Whispers)You’re now set free.

96 comments:

  1. I like that you wrote your fiction as a short play, and that helps the reader envision what you had planned for the story. I know this is a short play but I would have liked a little more out of scene 3, it just felt a little rushed. But it doesn't really take away from the overall influence of your piece.
    -Didi Amarasekara

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really like that it's in a dramatic format. It makes it easier for a reader to picture a situation in their head exactly as the writer intended it to look. I like how abrupt the line "Talking to the dead is a dangerous thing" is. The second I read that line a flood of possibilities came to me :Is she dead?, Is he dead?, Can she talk to the Dead?, and it definitely provoked interest. Also, Idon't know if it was intentional or not, but when the spirit Jacob says "I'm Jack" I saw the names didn't match up and I liked the effect it created because it reminds you Amanda can hear/talk to the spirits, but what they say could be untrustworthy. Good Job :)))

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like the way the character's explain things through speech so the reader isn't left without the information, and it's not awkward or robotic for them to be relaying the info. Nice work c:

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow this story reminded me of the movie Ghost with Patrick Swayze, this was an interesting read I would like to read more. the Characters seemed to be very developed and the idea that it was written like a play made it even better good work

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't know if you've read Greek mythology but at first I thought the story was going to be something like that of Orpheus and his wife but I saw that it wasn't and I was interested in seeing where the story went. I liked the use of dialogue, I'm normally not a big fan of the back and forth dialogue but I actually enjoyed it and I can't picture this in any other style of writing, it captured the beauty of the story.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well written which is pretty hard to do considering the play format. From beginning to end it flowed and went perfectly as a whole piece of literature. Great ending good job! -Joshua Kidwell

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love how the piece was written in a play format. This style allows the reader to easily visualize what is occurring in each situation. When the play starts mentioning talking to the dead the first thing I thought of was a Ouija board. I then stopped and realized that it could be interpreted in multiple different ways. I don't know if you actually meant for it to give off that effect, but I love it. Keep up the good work :>

    ReplyDelete
  8. Madii you are so creative!! I loved the story, it is so beautifully written and the format captures the true drama of the piece, I didn't think I would like the dialogue format, but it was great element to your piece, overall really well written and great concept!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I loved how the whole story fell into place perfectly, the story line and idea was beautiful and very well developed. The dialogue kept me interested and I just wanted to read more. Nice job! -Aileen Munoz

    ReplyDelete
  10. I felt connected to the play the whole time, i could imagine everything in my head and the whole thing was well written. I feel like things like this happen all the time and this was an interesting take on it and the idea of moving on after a tragic event.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The fact that you took a different approach and wrote the story in form of a play is a different spin, and it is uniquely amazing. Your story was very engaging and I truly enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I really liked how you wrote your piece in play format & it really reminded me of the movie Ghost :) I really loved the ending, how he got to see his lover again one last time. This was great :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. It was really interesting how you took this concept of spirits and adapted it to benefit the characters in the story. By making it your own and giving the spirits the qualities to talk and touch the living, it let the reader get a grasp of how engaging the interaction was. The dialogue was really great in a sense that it can be relatable to someone who may have lost a loved one and how they still hold on to them. Some more expression from Jackson about Wendy could've really made it that much more engaging in regards to the depth of his love for her and likewise with Amanda. The overall message was great though and very enjoyable to read, having found the subject matter very relatable.

    ReplyDelete
  14. How endearing and I absolutely adored that you used a play book to write your piece. I feel like all of us in some point in our lives do deal with losing a loved one, coping, a situation in which they have to let go but can't. The main reason I enjoyed your piece was because of the spiritual aspects and how well you incorporated elements such as ghosts and traveling between different worlds. Amanda has an amazing gift and it was very creative of you to even come up with using her as a portal to the two worlds. It was a pleasure reading your piece!
    - Alyssa Tandoc

    ReplyDelete
  15. Woah, I was completely enthralled by your story! I love your creativity to write it as a play versus a normal story, it shed more light on each of the characters' personalities and gradually provided insight into the backstory.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I appreciate the script format because it allows the reader the freedom to imagine the character's expressions and movement because its not just spelled out for them. Death is always such a difficult subject to talk about because its so definite. Your piece really gave death more dimensions than a clear picture of heaven. Good job. -Kamilah McMillon

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is probably one of the most creative pieces, I've read thus far! I've somewhat fallen in love with the formatting of your fictional piece! I loved how you incorporated the white rose at the end, which added so much more depth to your writing. The simple yet eloquent dialogue made your work more relatable as I'm sure we can all attest to having loved and lost, and ultimately finding it hard to move on; to essentially become normal again. There's definitely a level of beauty to this piece that cannot be overlooked! Bravo!
    - Pavia Omolewa

    ReplyDelete
  18. This was very beautiful and well written. I enjoyed the fact that you wrote it as a play and gave each spirit a back story without over explaining each one. I love the character Amanda, she is both careful and compassionate with those she comes across. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Great risk in doing something different. As a student of drama I appreciate the usage of script to portray your story instead of the classical narrative form.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I really loved this and it was so different on how you wrote in a play format. It was like I was watching it from the audience seeing a beautiful story line. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  21. death is always an interesting topic to read on no matter how it's developed! i love your interpretation and i think that most of us can relate with the pain of losing someone we care for. Following such losses it is important to remember that we cannot let our pain define who we are and we must learn to keep living our lives the best we can although we may feel incomplete and i think this piece does an excellent job of conveying that. I also really appreciate that you used your experience in the drama program to influence your format. Overall, a very touching piece with a nice message. Great job!
    -Kayla Salas

    ReplyDelete
  22. To be honest, the beginning of scene 2 confused me. I didnt really know who was talking or what was happening but the rest was great. The idea of having that "one last time" is something we all crave for and it made me happy that he got it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Madii this was peice was amazing! I loved the development that took place thought out the play. It was an interesting choice putting your peice in a dialogue format. I liked it a lot though. It helped with the imagery and 'seeing' the story unfold. It reminded me of the tv show 'Ghost Whisperer'. Good show. Great peice. Two thumbs up!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I love, love, love that you wrote a play! As a lover of theater i can imagine the set, blocking, emotional exchanges between the characters, and the slight pauses and hand motions that could be used. I could imagine someone directing this and i would love to see this performed one day! I especially loved the part when Amanda was talking to all of the spirits because this scene had an amazing tone and i thought it was interesting how Amanda came into contact with different spirits before reaching Wendy. Overall, there was a chilling but calming tone and a good message that everyone must be able to move on at one point in time after a loved one passes so that they can continue living the life they are blessed to still have.
    -Chloe Hopkins

    ReplyDelete
  25. I felt like I was reading a script for an upcoming romance movie. It was really interesting to see how to characters connected and how each of them reacted to the death of one character. It really played the love after death theme and communicated it stupendously. -Brian Rojas

    ReplyDelete
  26. This was a very creative work and the theme of the play is one that is timeless. I also really enjoyed the back and forth dialogue of the piece, so well done!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Loved it and the character Amanda, she is both careful and compassionate with those she comes across with.
    -Ashley Lowman

    ReplyDelete
  28. Legit tears. This was beyond great! Its fascinating how detailed you were and i felt as if i were actually there watching the play. Stunning job!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Awwww! I thought this was such a sweet play and I really enjoyed reading it! As I was reading it I felt sorry for Jackson for losing his wife because I can only imagine how hard that must be on someone and at the end when he "lets Wendy go" I thought it was so sweet and automatically what came to my head was the phrase "If you love something you let it free" and it was just a really sweet, creative story. I think you are a really good script writer and I would love to see this in an actual play. Great job Madii :)
    -Celeste Martinez

    ReplyDelete
  30. I like the theme of life and death. You have to let go of things you love so you can heal and be able to move on and that does come across in your story. The story line is really good and can relate to everyone. Really nice story about lose and it was conveyed really well.-Kaelin Bone

    ReplyDelete
  31. I really liked how this story set a remorseful and sad theme of a man trying to find closure in his dearest's death.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Becuase the story was written as a screenplay, which included the actions of the characters, it was very easy to visualize. The way this was written keeps you interested to know what would happen after Amanda finds Jackson's dead wife. The speed of the story did not slow down, keeping the reader invested in the story until the end! The lesson of moving on is a shown as such an essential part of the death of a loved one; the way the two character dealt with the loss of a loved one contrasted each other nicely.
    -Lorena Meza

    ReplyDelete
  33. I admire that you chose a play format to write your piece! It was very brave and you definitely nailed it! The story and the characters were all very interesting!
    -Marissa Putrick

    ReplyDelete
  34. Even though your piece was filled with pain, I thought over all it was beautiful. After reading your piece I believe the tone to be much sorrow and acceptance and even happiness. It may take time to heal all wounds from being a short or long period of time, but the pain goes away eventually and then one is left with the beautiful memories rather than the memory of losing their loved one. Your piece was very touching for anyone who had lost someone in their life.
    -Diana Godinez

    ReplyDelete
  35. I liked the different formatting you choose for this story. It allowed me to visualize the interactions that where happening with ease as well as become more connected to each character because I was able to look at each of their perspectives on the situation at hand.

    -Reymie Morris

    ReplyDelete
  36. After i read scene 1, i got super scared thinking that this story would be sort of like Insidious or any other scary movie, however, i couldn't stop reading because i really wanted to know about Jacob and his wife! I really thought the ending was sweet and i can totally see this play being acted out in a movie.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Great use of stage directions to provoke the imagery and set up of the scene, even in its written form. I love how you incorporated your other amazing talents into this piece, Kiley would be proud! The story is compelling and done beautifully, I would only suggest stretching the resolution (or possibly making it more romantic?). Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  38. WOW! your play was so intense, and Amanda plays such a powerful role in helping someone get through a death, take it from me it is not an easy job to be sincere, caring and stern all a once to help someone, but Amanda dose just that. Great Work!!! *COUGH COUGH* Do I hear Spring Season?

    ReplyDelete
  39. You let me read this script before you published it and I loved reading it a second time. Death is not something a lot of people like to write about especially with the negative connotations that come with it but you do an exceptional job. I love the play, it was very touching!
    -Oyinda Akinnusi

    ReplyDelete
  40. i really loved this story, it was different but yet interesting. great job.

    - Janier Ajila

    ReplyDelete
  41. I really loved your story it was very well written and made me want to keep reading more. The concept of your story was very beautiful and I like how you formatted it as a play. Great job :)
    -Kathlyn Juarez

    ReplyDelete
  42. This play has a really nice plot! I love it! It was very different than the other stories. - Camille B.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I was definitely confused at first when talking to the dead seemed to be not all that abnormal. Of course this is just my preconceptions being confronted with something outside of my comfort zone. Your piece opened me up to new ideas. Its not just about the story line but what the story invokes in the reader and its safe to say I'am already questioning my preconceptions on what is normal because of your writing. Well written!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Enjoyed the story a lot and was interesting that in was in a play format. Good Job.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Wow great read! Great chemistry between the two characters. Keep up the great work!

    ~ Gregory Gomez (P.3)

    ReplyDelete
  46. Madii I loved loved loved this! It was so well written and I loved how it was in dialogue format. It helped to actually 'see' the story unfold versus just reading it. The use of imagery helped a lot with that aswell! Your play kind of reminded me of the tv show 'the Ghost Whisperer'. Good show. Even better story.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I really liked how you chose to write a play I was a little confused reading the second scene but the third tied it all together very nice job I wish it was longer !

    ReplyDelete
  48. I love how you showed the struggle that people face when they lose a loved one, but are not able to let that person go. I also liked how you you show it takes time to move on and that it does not happen over night. Great Job!
    -Damian Echavarria

    ReplyDelete
  49. I really enjoyed this! Most people associate the supernatural and paranormal world with darker, more frightening images along with feelings of terror and suspense, but your story conveyed more beauty and love which I very much admire! Death isn't always something to fear and you definitely explained that through the optimistic views of Wendy and Jackson.
    - Sam Nugroho

    ReplyDelete
  50. This was so cute! I loved the different types of relationships in this play you had a couple and friends. And I really liked the random ghosts that came by to help show how Amanda's gift works.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I love how you formatted your story as a play! I really enjoyed reading the story and loved the plot. Kept me hooked the entire time and kept me wanting more! Great job and keep up the wonderful work!

    - Alan Viernes

    ReplyDelete
  52. I really enjoyed the story especially since its different because it was a play unlike the other stories. I liked how you expressed the characters and their personalities through their dialogue and tone.
    -Jeremiah Eugenio

    ReplyDelete
  53. Madii! You never cease to amaze me with how creative you are! I love how you made this your own and wrote this in a form of a play. I thought this was absolutely beautiful and I feel connected to the characters and like I know them personally. You did an amazing job, this was truly a very heartfelt and lovely piece. - Allyssa Flores

    ReplyDelete
  54. I really liked how you wrote your story as a short play. Well, this is so cool.
    -Anita Kong

    ReplyDelete
  55. Great plot, and the way you wrote it really brings out the emotions of the characters. Amazing work!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Really touching play showing that we can't hold on the people or things forever, but that they will always be there even if you don't know it. Really liked how you used the minor characters to allow the reader to know that the character Amanda is a Medium or person who can talk to living and dead people. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  57. One of my favorite parts of this piece was that Wendy and Amanda were very close. It makes me wonder what their relationship was, and how much hurt Amanda was going through that we don't get to see. Which ties in to my other favorite aspect of this, which was how at the end you put such an emphases on the last line. It really hones in the point of the play about losing loved ones and still loving them after they are gone, but loving them enough to still let them go.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I think that it was a fantastic idea to write your piece as a screenplay because it allowed us to really view you in your natural element. As I read, I could imagine everything that was happening and I could honestly see this piece becoming a scene in a longer play that elaborates upon Amanda's abilities and the connections that she forms with spirits. I also agree with other people's comments about it resembling Ghost Whisperer or the movie Ghost, which really shows the sophistication of your writing.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Really good piece, forces you to emotionally attach to Jackson and understand his internal conflict. Good ending and an overall good job.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I enjoyed the story I loved how you let the characters explain everything! Good Job
    -Maite Vano

    ReplyDelete
  61. As Kouleen said, this definitely had a creepy "Insidious" vibe to it! The atmosphere was tense and chilling, so much so that I had to wear a sweater. However, I remain skeptical that Jackson would so easily relinquish his lover Wendy after being developed as such a frighteningly desperate, disillusioned, and creepy guy. This could have given the story a much darker ending, but the piece is nevertheless a masterpiece and you deserve a parade.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I liked how you showed how much pain someone can have when they have lost someone dear to them and how hard it can be to let them go, it touched my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  63. This piece really touched home with me, I'd recently made some mistakes that resulted in certain people drifting away from me. Now I'll probably never see those people again in the near future and I'd do anything just to see and talk to them again. Now I'll just have to accept that fact and move on with my life. Very nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  64. This was definitely one of my favorite pieces!! I think it was well written. I liked how even though he had so much pain in the beginning, at the end Jackson was able to move on and realize that Wendy will always be with him. The story reminded me of "A Walk to Remember". Very nice!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  65. Great piece! I like the progression of the story but scene two was a little confusing, I thought Anna was Jackson's wife when I first read it. The story is very simple but great and easy to understand. Great Job! -Sirikanya Boonyanant

    ReplyDelete
  66. Enjoyed the story vary interesting and vary long just right and also is this for a play or a short story

    -Aurelius valdez

    ReplyDelete
  67. Aww... I suppose love really is eternal! This story had a very different direction which, at first, wasn't exactly the /clearest/ subject. But it was easy to pick up on (she's a psychic, right?) and there was a very endearing story behind it. I'm being a bit excessive here but I felt some lines needed punctuation. Nonetheless, this piece was excellent!

    ReplyDelete
  68. This sent shivers down my spine, excellent screenwrite after act one I wasn't sure how the story was going to turn out, I loved that you used the themes of life and deat and how much moving on is me coasts on ones life I really enjoyed reading this

    -Bobby Freeman

    ReplyDelete
  69. This reminds me of that aspect of the Insidious movies where they had that little old lady try to communicate with the spirit world. Your background in drama made this piece that much more engaging, especially the format. It seems like it could have potential for you to expand beyond this post. I'm glad Jackson found some closure! Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Loved the whole format of the piece. And especially loved the content of it, it actually got me a little emotional there for a second.
    Fantastic work, loved it!

    -Blue Andrade

    ReplyDelete
  71. Loved the whole format of the piece. And especially loved the content of it, it actually got me a little emotional there for a second.
    Fantastic work, loved it!

    -Blue Andrade

    ReplyDelete
  72. loved that you took so much time to write this. it was very thought out and i loved it. so many different literary devices being used which really made it even better.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Loved the meaning behind the piece. The imagery was great and I liked the story line

    ReplyDelete
  74. Well that was AMAZING, i actually got chills and maybe a tear or two, but i would definitely love to see this screenplay in an actual show and maybe longer. It was great, very intriguing! ~Neida Erroa

    ReplyDelete
  75. Wow! I loooooooovvvvvveeeeeeeeeee the fact that you took a risk and wrote your fiction out as a play, it truly did help simplify the plot for the reader and develop the characters faster than in a fluid story- although, knowing you, I'd of course expect nothing but the best! ;) Fantastic Job!! -Maddie Alegria

    ReplyDelete
  76. Nice job. I don't have much to honestly say about the piece, except the fact that the beginning is a bit confusing. At first, Jackson is asking for help, then starts fighting Amanda, and then starts asking for help again. I think that could have been conveyed a bit more smoothly. Scene 3 was also a bit rushed; I would have enjoyed a bit more development, rather than the conclusion rather suddenly. Other than that, I encourage you to continue to develop your writing skills, you could be a swell writer.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I really loved the way this story was formatted. It has such a great plot I couldn't stop reading it. I loved the story line and the meaning behind it.

    ReplyDelete
  78. The format was refreshing, i could very well imagine the scenes playing out.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Long.... It lost my attention. Couldn't finish it until the end. Hopefully not because it wasn't good, but because i have a short attention span. From what I did read your punctuation and grammar was great. Good use of vocabulary and excellent imagery.

    ReplyDelete
  80. WOW. Amazing job. Such a heartfelt story, As I was reading my mood changed from tense to tranquil in seconds. It literally destroyed my personal notion of death. Anyway great use of diction and character dialogue. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.

    ReplyDelete
  81. I think the piece as a whole has parts that stand out from others and the development begins in end of scene two, I think this has potential to be a full length play if you developed each of the characters more, for me personally it mirrors the one act play Boards by Adan Chavez that we produced last year, but great work Madii
    -Sienna Carbajal

    ReplyDelete
  82. Madi!! I've always known you were a great writer but this is spectacular. I loved how you formatted it and how it was all structured. I also love the theme of love used because it made it somewhat relate-able . Truly brilliant work Madi and keep up the good work because you really are talented.
    -Nahome Woldearegay

    ReplyDelete
  83. The play format enabled me to vividly picture each scene. The piece is incredibly creative and well written.
    -Jerelle Medina

    ReplyDelete
  84. Love the format, and use of common analogies. One can totally relate.

    ReplyDelete
  85. I thought the form of play writing was interesting it gave more of my own freedom to imagine the expressions of your characters. Back to back dialogue for myself is very challenging thats why I was impressed by your screenplay. "Because I knew you would ask me to communicate with her for you", Amanda really wanted him to move forward, lies/secrets is what we tell each other because they become desperate based on their emotional reasoning.

    ReplyDelete
  86. The story was very moving! It's definitely great to see how the theme of eternal love can be portrayed in so many ways. Amazing job!
    -Korbie Sevilla

    ReplyDelete
  87. The idea and presentation of your writing through a screenplay was very well done, and brought a unique feel to the story. The characters were well developed in a short time, and the play never seemed to contain a dull part. However, I would slow down the pace (although I see what you were trying to achieve in a small amount of words), and focus on saying more with less. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  88. I think this is very unique doing the play because most people are gonna write a story and get it done with but you took your timw and wrote a well written play good job!

    ReplyDelete
  89. This was probably the best story out of the five. I loved that you broke it up into acts. It added to your story, because now you can immagine the transition between acts when the story transitions.
    -Anthony Giliberto Jr.

    ReplyDelete
  90. This format of literature tells the same story from another unique perspective and I thank you for doing that.

    ReplyDelete
  91. A beautiful and dramatic story. I loved every second of it.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I love how you formatted it into a dramatic dialogue. It really allows your readers to get in character with the different lines of action, while at the same time allowing room for emotional and literary analysis. You made a very sensitive, dark concept into an entertaining and fulfilling experience. Great work! ps. I can easily relate to the situation as well, and definitely the emotional weight within each line.

    ReplyDelete
  93. This was extremely well-written and I definitely enjoyed the read. I can say I was kept very interested as I read and the story had a great progression. Personally, I would have loved to see how they contacted the spirits, but that's probably just me being sort of picky. There's not really anything negative to say about the work, it was wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
  94. This is an amazingly moving piece, I love the depth and emotional attachment this piece has. It was very powerful ( if that makes sense). This would be a great play.

    ReplyDelete
  95. This is different from many other works, not just because it's a play, but it's able to feel very real - even with the whole communication with spirits. The characters are shown to simultaneously express many emotions, such as desperation and love, which enhances the realness of the story.

    -Brandon Lim

    ReplyDelete
  96. I really enjoy how this is written as a play. It is almost like I could see it playing out in front of me
    -Sierra Guitron

    ReplyDelete