Summer Night
It was a typical hot summer day, stuck in the house trying to figure out something to do with all my friends. As we sat there and contemplated on what to do that will be fun for us and didn’t need any money to do it. We were all stumbled and then it crossed one of my friends mind “Let’s go to the park and have a picnic” sound like a great idea. The park wasn’t too far to walk from our house since none of us had cars to drive there. So we gathered up all are necessities blankets, umbrella, speakers, and tons of food. Walking there was an adventure kind of hot, getting tired of carrying all of our stuff but then finally we reached the park in relief. Then my friends and I found a nice spot in the shade we all just laid out and had a good time. Being at the park relished our inner child having no worries and just messing around and having a great time. We notices it was starting to get dark so we packed up all of our stuff to get ready to leave. As we were walking we were in groups of two a little distant from one another caught up in one’s conversation. Myself and my best friend Zariya were in the back walking and laughing had no care in the world. As I pushed the button to cross the street waiting for the light of the little man to come on to cross, still dying of laughter from the previous conversation I was having with my best friend, then finally the cross signal came on as we stepped off the side walk into the street only walking three steps I see huge bright head lights and in fear I shirked and immediately grabbed Zariya’s arm. But she wasn’t paying attention and as a reflex she shrugged my pull of an arm away and the car hit her! Thank the Lord s she had a large umbrella in her hand to take some kind of the force from the car off, so only thing that really got hit was her arm. As I am just standing there so startled can’t even get a grasp for words to ask “are you ok?” She is just standing there in un realization of what just had occurred then suddenly the man who had hit her parked and came back making sure she was okay and didn’t need medical care. The impact was so hard that his side view mirror had broken off. Lucky that she had the umbrella right in her arm that is why she didn’t get hurt. I have never been in a situation like this before neither had my friend still in shock I checked her to make sure she was okay and everything. With this happening in my life made me really realize how life is so precious and to really value the time we have with loved ones. I always constantly think to myself what if I didn’t notice the car, or what if I didn’t tug her as I did to move her out of the way, and even what if I was on the opposite side. Just this experience itself helps me open my eyes on life and always to stay careful and cautious of my surroundings.
Chelsie this story is crazy when I heard you tell me about it in class and now reading about it Oh My Gosh! That is seriously crazy! I could really hear your voice in the story good job!
ReplyDeleteThe story, I felt, was incredibly griping. It had instant suspense, which is rather rare in writing.
ReplyDeleteYikes!! That's a pretty scary experience! I'm glad that you've taken a valuable lesson from such a close call.
ReplyDeleteWow this was a great story very suspenseful
ReplyDeletewhat a good suspenseful story and good thing she didnt get seriously injured, the beginning gave the nice feeling of a summer day at the park and carefree and was able to learn a lesson from this
ReplyDeleteLife literally comes at us fast. In an instant things can change and so Im just happy that both you and your friend were okay. THe set up for your story was intriguing and it took a turn I didnt excpect. The only suggestion I would make is adding commas but over all a great read with an important message!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, this got to me, it was so intense! You did a great job of slowly getting into the climax to build up the suspense.
ReplyDeleteThis really drew me in right in the middle. Thank goodness she was okay. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the beginning so easily i always go to the park with my friends and love having little picnics. It takes an experience like this to get your life together in a way, thats super crazy that your friend got hit right in front of you! i dont know what i would do if i saw that the important thing is that she was okay at the end and that you learned a valuable lesson from this
ReplyDeleteThis was really intense and had a great message to the readers! good job!
ReplyDeleteI totally did not expect the story's outcome. Everything was so peaceful until the story reached it's climax. It's great that both of you guys are all right and that in the end you learned a valuable lesson :)
ReplyDeleteHOLY COW. WHAT THE POOP. did the driver face any consequences? Awuh man, scary stuff. but really quick...speakers at the park? Aha for your ipod or what, i was like whaattsss up? Aha butt back to the story, what a stroke of luck. im really glad your friend is okay, and you as well! Car accidents are increasingly common and its a frightening thing, way to give us the foreboding sense, i knew i had to brace myself once you said "typical" i was like oh dang, when "typical" is spoken you just know it'll turn into anything but "typical"...maybe days find it insulting aha thank you fro sharing:)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! thank goodness she was alright! While reading this, i realized how much everything happens for a reason and that life can definitely change in the matter of seconds. This is really suspenseful! thank you for sharing :]
ReplyDeleteWhat a horrible experience to go through!!! I cant image how frightened you must have been with this happening to your best friend!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story! I wanted to keep reading once the car accident happened, wondering is she okay? did she get badly injured? all these questions started to race through my mind! i couldn't even imagine how you were feeling! but I'm glad you are both okay! you did an amazing job!
ReplyDeleteWell thank god you were able to pull her away from what could have been a catastrophic accident. It was a stroke of luck.
ReplyDeleteThis story really does put your life in perspective. Thank you for sharing this experience. It is an eye-opener and makes the reader appreciate their lives and their loved ones.
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of some of my summer nights, it seems it routine that no one ever has a plan when they have so much free time in the summer, but they cant wait for it to come when it isn't summer. Thanks for the experience.
ReplyDeleteWow! I wasn't expecting that unfortunate event to happen after such a happy time. Good thing you were able to act quick enough to pull her out of the way a little bit.
ReplyDeleteSorry if no one is religious, but in my mind that was God and sometimes God works in mysterious ways. Good story though.
ReplyDeleteThat's seriously awful and terrifying. I remember my friend also got hit by a car, and I know it wasn't a serious event, It still really scared me and made me realize how short life can be. Praise God she is okay though.
ReplyDeleteI almost got hit by a car in mexico because I was running from a bee. I'm much more aware of my surroundings now (and i no longer flee from bees) and I'm sure you guys are too. Good story :) Thank god no one was hurt.
ReplyDeleteGlad your friend is okay..I loved your message at the end that we should cherish every moment with our loved ones because anything can happen at anytime. good job!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that happened, but luckily everyone was alright! There are drivers who don't give full attention behind the wheel, so you should always remain alert. I'm glad you understand how precious life is.
ReplyDeletea car accident ! , oop that's unlucky. the story is simple and then just like nothing , BAM ! it sinks right under your skin. nice job
ReplyDeleteThat scared me... I thought that you were joking (like in Mean Girls), but you weren't. This reminded me like you said to be aware of my surroundings even when I feel safe, especially when I am laughing with my friends.
ReplyDeleteThe intensity was intense! I can't imagine an event like that. I now have a nother look on life.
ReplyDeleteWoah! this was a crazy story. I'm glad you guys are okay though. Its just another story that makes me think about my life and loved ones.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, what a blessing that your friend is ok. What a scary thing to experience but it does remind us that life is short and anything could happen so we should enjoy the time we have with our loved ones. Thank you for sharing! It's not always easy telling stories like these.
ReplyDeleteWow Chelsie on everything i actually could hear your voice in my head the way you wrote it! great job though because even though you kind of told me the story in class i still was deep in the reading and it taught me a lesson to. Loved it
ReplyDeleteThis is insane! I was so glade you were able to pull her away. This made me realize that anyone's life can change in a matter of seconds so everyone should cherish what they have, and be thankful that they get to live another day. I LOVED THE SUSPENSE! GOOD JOB!
ReplyDeleteI literally gasped when you got to the part about your friend being hit by the car! How terrifying! This description of your traumatic experience was extremely vivid and your feeling and struggles were felt all throughout :)
ReplyDeleteVery good read! First and foremost, I hope your friend isn't as affected by this tragic event in any harmful way. Second, the story was well written! The pace of the story was at a normal and casual speed until the moment that accident occurred. From the moment of shock, the story really rushed into a moment of disbelief. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteGlad nothing life threatening happened and that you both were okay. We take for granted the life that we were given and don't realize that anything could happen when we least expect it.
ReplyDeleteThe suspense in this story was very well written. I enjoyed reading through the story as it was reaching the climax.
ReplyDeleteThis really is an eye-opening situation. Luckily she is okay, but it stinks that sometimes it takes such a horrible experience to open our eyes and make us appreciate the little things in life that we usually take for granted.
ReplyDeleteThis piece of writing reminds me of the movie 'Stranger Than Fiction' where Will Ferrell gets hit by a bus and the one particular object that saves him from death was his watch. I thought of the film because it's kind of the same concept. If your friend didn't have that umbrella in that certain particular spot OR if Will Ferrell's character decided not to wear a watch that evening when the accident happened.. things would've been a lot worse. So I'm glad all of you guys are okay. And I'm glad to know you're guy's first reaction was not to cuss out the driver haha.
ReplyDeletewow this was interesting and I am so happy that your friend is OK. I loved the way you wrote the piece.
ReplyDeleteI think heard you talking about this in class.. and the way you put it down into a story is amazing, great job! I loved how suspenseful it was!
ReplyDeleteThis really made me think about how life can disappear in a blink of an eye, thank you for sharing
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you friend is safe. That story was just a true rush of suspense I could not believe how quick all if that happened the time frame was quick and in chronological order, which is what helped guide me through the action quickly. Great method of writing. I mean its amazing how fast events happen everyday and God forbid she could have been gone but she didn't so I'm glad. Just tell her to be more careful and best wishes.
ReplyDeleteReally makes you see just how easily things can go wrong. Glad your friend was lucky enough to come out of that okay.
ReplyDeleteWow that must've been such a scary situation, I'm glad no one was seriously hurt!
ReplyDeletewow, goose bumps! Good job and nice story girl!
ReplyDeleteexperiences like this are always unexpected and traumatizing! Im glad your friends okay and she got lucky its good too see how precious life is although it takes a situation like this for us to realize it
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why I hate drivers because they are not aware of their surroundings but this was very suspenseful!
ReplyDeleteI am glad your friend was not hurt to bad, these things really do make one think about what will happen next in life.
ReplyDeleteWhat a shocker!! At least everyone is safe! Very detailed story.
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