Escape to Freedom
We were sitting in silence in our little 1 room cabin awaiting the news of whether we had been discovered or not. We didn’t really know what we were running from any longer just that we had to keep going. I being the oldest of the children was left to tend for the five others. Our parents left to the nearby hillside to investigate one of the youngest children’s claims that he had seen other people. We thought we were the only left around for at least 20 miles. “We haven’t been able to see anyone,” said my father Aken as he walked through the door. “However, Rebekkah, if we don’t change location soon we’ll be discovered no matter what.” “Are you sure dad?” I asked not wanting to have to move locations for the sixth time in two months. He nodded motioned to the bags we already had packed and walked out the door. Between the children I split the supplies that needed to be carried. I gave the twins Mathew and Marc the smallest of the bags as they were only five years old, Rory got a large bag for a twelve year old, Emma the fifteen year old carried the medical supplies, and Noel and I split the remainder. Noel was eighteen and I had just turned nineteen. We were known as runners. Our escape began shortly after the blackouts. As soon as the power went out bombs began dropping over us we had no idea what was going on we just knew we had to leave. “Come on children don’t be scared we’re almost to our safe place we’ve been telling you about.” My mother said to the twins as they began to get scared. I could just wonder how close. She had been saying we were close for weeks. We had been walking for hours when night fell we were about to stop and make camp when we heard something not far from us. Two men approached from a clearing in some trees. We at first were terrified thinking we had been caught until one of them noticed the gold star embroidered onto the worn sweater Emma was wearing. The older of the men then pulled his gold necklace out of his shirt to reveal a matching star. He then stepped closer to my father with a tear in his eye and said, “You have come a long way comrade and you have made it to Poland.” I knew what those words meant. We had made it safely out of the heart of the war to a new beginning. “What is the date, sir?” My father asked. “Today is March 9, 1944.” The man replied. I then realized we had been running for nearly five years, for this day. Tears began to stream down our faces; we were safe.
I would recommend visiting the Museum of Tolerance in LA. This story reminds me of many stories told there about the holocaust and Nazi Germany. Anyways, neat story.
ReplyDeleteThat was such a good story! It really transported me back to that time, I could feel their fear, desperation, and hope. It was so very good I loved it!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the brave step into the realm of historical fiction. It's one that most people wouldn't take.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea what this was about until the very end! I almost thought this was some sort of zombie apocalypse story but I loved not knowing until the end. I loved it, very well written :)
ReplyDeleteI love the historical background to your story! It shows how much we learn a lot from history. I agreed with Victoria i thought the entire family were in some sort of zombie apocalypse episode too! or maybe just an emergency drill of some-sort but till the end it was different. aha! i really liked this Amanda! :]
ReplyDeleteI like how I was taken back in time good story!
ReplyDeletedidn't quite understand what was going on till the end, very interesting and luv the writing style and bringing the germanic history fiction and making the readers feel in it but an excellent story indeed
ReplyDeleteMan I have to admit I almost started crying when I got to the end. I have been recently reading a book about a boy who went from town to town trying to escape the German Army during World War II and this totaly summoned up his story in a short paragraph. You have a great ability at putting the reader quite lyterally in the writting. When I finished the last sentence I felt like I was the girl and my hope had been restored.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great read. :) I genuinely enjoyed the story and I liked the way you illuminated the idea of a family struggling together, and that final "aha" moment when you can breathe because you are free of hardship a moment in time. Really cool work. :)
ReplyDeleteI LOVED IT! The small grasp of hope that I held on to for this family was heart pounding. I absolutely loved it, I suggest the book: The Book Thief
ReplyDeleteWow! So good that you can combine history into fiction as if you were actually there. I felt like I was even there with your great use of detail. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWoah i didnt expect this story to turn out to be about a jewish family running away, it caught me off guard but i loved that! When i first began to read it i have no idea why but it just reminded me of hunger games.. kinda odd huh? But anyways this was one of my favorite short stories by far and i mean it!
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job of making the readers feel like they were a part of this time in history. good job!
ReplyDeleteI love your story, you are so creative and have such an imagination! I really like the ending because it was a happy one after so much struggle.
ReplyDeleteoh my, so quick. The goosebumps hit in the realization of how long they had be running. The short sentences kind of upped the anny on reading speed, which heightened the narrators desperation. i can't imagine the expansion of this story including the five years the family were on foot...I agree with Marcus and hayleigh, the combination of history and fiction is a struggle in attempts to remain accurate but pays off in the narration of a time when many aren't left to tell such a tale, many whom were never given the chance. Its like giving a voice to those who were never heard. We need more of this. Thank you for sharing:)
ReplyDeletethis is a great story i really enjoyed it
ReplyDeleteOkay I totally thought it was flash fiction for a bit and that is mainly because I have been watching NBC's Revolution where the whole world goes into a blackout and I WAS LIKE FAN FICTION ABOUT THE SHOW, but that made it even more of a twist for me at the end! Very neat~
ReplyDeleteI like the historical connection with your story! Most of the other stories have been just fiction but yours creates almost a bit of horror in it because of how true the terror was at the time.
ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job tying in the historical background, most people wouldn't take that route! Great Job!
ReplyDeleteYes! I love historical fiction. You were able to describe multiple characters, establish a setting and resolve a situation all under 500 words; and that was the beauty of it, as it didn't feel rushed or too brief, like this comment.
ReplyDeleteSuch a breath of fresh air in the end! The reader always wants a happy ending. Especially during the Holocaust period, reading a story with an ending that is in the narrator's favor is perfect. Thank you for reminding us about the struggles the Holocaust victims faced!
ReplyDeleteI thought the ending was sort of cliche because it seems to always end happily, but that's just my point of view. I did like this piece though because it addressed a tough subject. The holocaust is something history will never forget.
ReplyDeleteYour story was amazing! I'm glad they were able to finally make it there safely. I loved the historical connection at the end.
ReplyDeleteThis was a heartfelt read. I sincerely appreciated .
ReplyDeleteFor some reason I was imagining The Walking Dead or something supernatural but I was completely wrong. Great story, and great subject matter!
ReplyDeleteI read the last sentence and was like "ohhhh snap". Super good! I honestly think the Holocaust is really interesting, thankyou for this!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great read! Just like everyone else, I loved how you combined history into fiction which is difficult to do. You had a great use of detail also! great job!
ReplyDeleteHistorical fiction.... I like it! It's almost like the historical aspect, can make it seem real. Good job!
ReplyDeleteman that's deep, great fiction and amazing way of interpreting the historical value of the era
ReplyDeleteLove! It began with such a mystery which made me want to keep reading and at the end finding out what the secret was made my jaw drop. Such a surprise and relief finding out that the family is safe.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story! I felt the twins anxiety and how tired Rebekkah was of moving. Though I agree with Kevin, I was also confused as to why they were being chased and then the history of the golden star hit me as soon as the family saw it.
ReplyDeleteDang girl that is really cool how you were able too bring history into a fiction story...and the fact that i hate history and i was very into the story just wows me! it was great :)
ReplyDeleteYour story instantly got my attention! I was actually getting stressed out for the characters in your short story while reading, and worried whether or not they will every find someplace safe for their family. Your imagination is amazing, and I love historical fiction, thanks for sharing this and great job!
ReplyDeleteWow! Really impressed by the background development of each character. The pitch of the story really was well written and felt as if I were part of their family. Also, the ending which revealed what was happening with the characters really made a great resolution to the curiosity at the beginning.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mackenzie! Relief is definitely felt at the end of the passage! I have always been interested in Holocaust historic events and the struggles that people of that time so your piece really caught my attention and the dialogue and the description of the family members was spot on! Definitely sucked me in the entire way through :)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you brought history into a fictional story and the ending was very good.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, this was a bit of a plot twist for me because I had no idea this was about a jewish family in the beginning. I thought this story was going to be about a family trying to escape slavery through the underground railroad. Either way, I still enjoyed it. And adding that huge relief at the end was a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely liked the happy ending. For a second there I thought it was going to be flash fiction and I wasn't going to be able to read the end! That's a good topic though. For some reason, I never get tired of hearing stories from that time.
ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job on this piece, you kept it interesting from the beginning to end. I liked how the story had some truth in it.
ReplyDeleteThe beginning really hooked me! I wanted to keep reading to see what would happen! I loved this story and its very happy ending!
ReplyDeleteI think the ending made me happy, good story, I was like phew! great job
ReplyDeleteI really like the inclusion of a historical basis for your story. The ending was great as well.
ReplyDeleteThat was reeeeeeally good... I loved the subtle suspense you created about being discovered. Nicely done
ReplyDeleteWhat...... This was amazing you where able to take me back into a whole new time that of WWII they way you framed your story was brilliant you provided heavy and dense description that both intertwined both our world and theirs making us a whole. You method of writing is unmatched and to take such challenge...I simply breathless. Stick to your writing I really enjoyed it and I would live to read some nore. I a sense I also loved how you captivated through both the connotation of their torn clothing. I'm speechless.
ReplyDeletenice, I thought you did a great job in retelling an old story
ReplyDeleteI know this is late but I love the intensity of this story and the end, you could feel the relief the character felt to know that they were safe.. great story!
ReplyDeleteI picked up on the reference to the Holacaust, and I thought this was very well written. I felt like I was in the story
ReplyDeleteIt was very cool how it all got tied together in the end and stayed interesting the whole way.
ReplyDeleteVery good writing, I had no idea why they were running until the very end! I like your style.
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