I’m finally done with my shift. I clock out and I tell all my coworkers goodbye.
“Bye Merida!” says Arlean.
“See you later!” says Orion.
I exit through the back like usual and I begin to walk down the long hallway. I pass a few people in the hall that work at other food places in the mall and I wonder if they dread coming to work just as much as I do. I mean, we’re all just teenagers trying to make some money, whether it's for college or just some new clothes. We all come to work, try to stand the angry customers, then leave.
I make it out to the dumpsters where my grandparents are waiting for me. It's so embarrassing that I can’t even drive myself to work. Soon enough I will be getting my license. I get in the back seat of their little, red Honda Civic and they ask me how work was.
“How was work mija?” says Abuelo.
“Same old, same old.” I told him.
He tells me that we have to go pick up some rent from one of his properties. I don’t really mind, I’m just glad to be off my feet. First we go and get some food at Farmer Boys and then head to the property.
When we get there, we park on the side of the street and it’s kind of busy out. My grandpa gets out of the car and says he’ll be right back. My grandma and I just sit in the car, snacking on the fries, listening to the Spanish radio, while we wait for my grandpa.
My grandpa eventually comes back and is standing on the passenger side of the car, talking to my grandma.
“Lupe shorted me one hundred dollars.” says my grandpa. “I have to wait for her to find the rest of the money.”
They continue talking and I just go on my phone waiting to go home. I can hear the radio and they’re playing ‘Volver Volver’ by Vicente Fernández
“Y volver volver, volver, A tus brazos, otr-
CRASH!!!
Everything goes black. I come to and my head is against the passenger seat. My ears are ringing and I don't know what is going on. I turn my head to the left and I just see what looks like a wall. I turn back and see a black car, revving its engine trying to get itself unstuck from the back end of our car. I then realize that I was not looking at a wall, I was looking at the smashed in seats and trunk of our little, red Honda Civic.
I can hear the screams of my grandma in pain in the front seat. I notice my shoes, my work hat, and even my glasses all flew off of me. When I look to the right, out the window I see my grandpa with blood dripping down his hand. I think to myself that I need to get out of the car. What if it explodes? I take my stretched out seatbelt off and attempt to open my door but it's bent. I slam the door with my shoulder and it opens and I just slide out of the car onto the sidewalk where people are already starting to gather around.
“Are you okay sweetie?” says a woman.
“Are you alright?” says a man.
I tell them all that I am fine.
I’m really not though. My head is pounding and my body is beginning to ache. I didn’t want to say anything because I’m too worried about my grandma who is still stuck in the car and my grandpa who’s hand is being wrapped in a bandage because of how bad his injury is.
All of a sudden I don’t know what hits me, but I begin to panic. I can’t find my phone and I just really want to talk to my parents who are currently up in Big Bear. I’m crying, trying to ask the ladies to find my phone that’s somewhere lost in the car, while another girl around my age is sitting on the floor trying to comfort me. They couldn’t find my phone so my grandpa gives me his phone. I call the first name I saw which was my mom’s, Amanda. My dad answers and I tell him about the accident.
Eventually I hang up the phone because my parents tell me they’re on the way. Then I begin to hear the sirens of a firetruck and I see the flashing lights. This big tall man comes up to me and begins doing a small exam on me.
“I am going to touch these areas around your spine and you need to tell me if you’re in any pain.” says the fireman.
He proceeds to ask me more questions about my head and my abdomen, all of which are aching but not enough for me to be dying.
When the ambulance arrives, I finally have the strength to get up. I watch as they get my grandma out of the car onto the stretcher while she's screaming in pain. I stand next to my grandma waiting patiently when one paramedic comes and begins to wrap my grandpa's hand with a bandage.
“Come this way to the ambulance and you can ride with your grandpa on the way to the hospital.” says the paramedic.
They load up my grandpa on the stretcher and I’m sitting on a little seat behind him. One paramedic began asking me the same questions the fireman asked me and I just gave her the exact same answers.
“You got extremely lucky today. If you would have been on the other side of the car, you would have paralyzed or maybe even dead.”
I don’t know if she was trying to make me feel better but it definitely did not help. Although it did get me thinking. What if I were on the other side? Would I still be here right now? Was it faith that I sat on the right side? It amazes me how choosing what side to sit on of the little, red Honda Civic could have determined whether or not I would be alive right now.
Hey Bella! I love the story's title and ending. I think the rhetorical questions at the end leave the audience at suspense which I love. I also admire the way this story is more likely to happen in real life rather than relating to the imaginative world. -Pooja Patel
ReplyDeleteThis is a very well-written short story, as I feel it almost perfectly captures the chaos of what happens in a real car crash. There's so many thoughts that speed through someone's mind, coupled with potential injuries, it's hard to focus on one thing at a time. I think you nailed that feeling, especially with the questions at the end mimicking the questions one would ask themselves in the event of an accident. Really well written, nice work! - Ethan Lamas
ReplyDeleteGreat job Bella! This piece is perfect at reeling in your reader and making them feel like they are a part of the experience. I also love how you connected this to the modern world, from the car to the music playing. You do a great job of keeping the attention throughout the story!! - Carson Mortensen
ReplyDeleteHi Bella, I really liked the piece, and how the question at the end really makes you wonder. It can make a lot of people wonder as well with certain instances in their life. One small thing I believe you could change is make the vocab a bit less the same, other than that really liked the story !
ReplyDeleteThis was such a beautiful piece! You have an excellent writing style and expertly use words and imagery to convey your story. I appreciate the reality of your piece and how thought provoking it is. You did a wonderful job!
ReplyDelete