She had lost track of how many days it had been since she'd last seen one. Sometimes she
wondered why she drew them in, why she killed, but the thought typically did not reside long in
her head. It was in her nature, so she did not often question it too long. Besides, the only time she
ever really thought about it was when there wasn't any around, for unlike other times, a new
group quickly emerged from the billows of sea.
She perched high on her rock, starting her song. Each of them were affected to different degrees; they drew away from the berth and towards the bow, itching to get closer. Some jumped over the edge, making themselves easier targets. She normally choose those to end personally, the ones so seduced by her song that they swam towards her. The rest went down with the ship, as they should. She'd never experienced any form of pity. She never really sought them, except the ones she drew close. They had their own corruptions to blame.
All of them were drowning in her song, making her feel like the sea goddess she thought herself to be. This moment was her favorite, the feeling of utter importance and power. The feeling that she controlled everything, controlled everyone. Absolute power over everything she could see.
It was then that something particular caught her eye. All of them had drawn towards her from all parts, except one. One lone man frantically attempted to grab the attention of his friends
She perched high on her rock, starting her song. Each of them were affected to different degrees; they drew away from the berth and towards the bow, itching to get closer. Some jumped over the edge, making themselves easier targets. She normally choose those to end personally, the ones so seduced by her song that they swam towards her. The rest went down with the ship, as they should. She'd never experienced any form of pity. She never really sought them, except the ones she drew close. They had their own corruptions to blame.
All of them were drowning in her song, making her feel like the sea goddess she thought herself to be. This moment was her favorite, the feeling of utter importance and power. The feeling that she controlled everything, controlled everyone. Absolute power over everything she could see.
It was then that something particular caught her eye. All of them had drawn towards her from all parts, except one. One lone man frantically attempted to grab the attention of his friends
as the boat sunk. For a moment she stopped her song, aghast at this unknown occurrence. Then,
quickly realizing he must have not heard her, projected her voice. He still, however, stood
oblivious to the source of disarray of his fellow shipmates. He looked around, panicked, as the
boat turned about uneasily. Without men manning their stations, the boat had started to turn with
the shifts of waves. Recognizing that it was going to go down soon, he hastily tried to wake his
shipmates from their dreamlike trance. Curiously, she noticed that he never once opened his
mouth to call out to them, instead he shook them vigorously.
This, of course, was a new feeling for her. Never had she felt very curious about anything. Every one of them she’d come across had all been the same, all acted the same, all succumbed to their desires. Her curiosity quickly turned to frustration, how was it that this man could avoid her song? It had to be impossible, for it had never been done before, but then, it couldn’t be because he was doing it. If this ship was to go down, she wanted to have control of everyone o n it. She stopped singing, slipping into the depth of the murky water below.
For days, she followed, watching the ship to understand the man. She never once saw the man interact with anyone, never once converse with anyone. Though she watched for days, she still could not understand how he was immune to her song. He mopped decks and hoisted sails, for several hours she did not see him as he worked below decks. This became her obsession, though she did not consciously realize it. She abandoned everything that had been her before, obsessing to understand this complexity. She lost interest in simply singing, taking down ships, the thing that was all that she was.
The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months. She followed the ship relentlessly, the need to understand so great. She no longer wanted to draw any man in but him, but she knew she
This, of course, was a new feeling for her. Never had she felt very curious about anything. Every one of them she’d come across had all been the same, all acted the same, all succumbed to their desires. Her curiosity quickly turned to frustration, how was it that this man could avoid her song? It had to be impossible, for it had never been done before, but then, it couldn’t be because he was doing it. If this ship was to go down, she wanted to have control of everyone o n it. She stopped singing, slipping into the depth of the murky water below.
For days, she followed, watching the ship to understand the man. She never once saw the man interact with anyone, never once converse with anyone. Though she watched for days, she still could not understand how he was immune to her song. He mopped decks and hoisted sails, for several hours she did not see him as he worked below decks. This became her obsession, though she did not consciously realize it. She abandoned everything that had been her before, obsessing to understand this complexity. She lost interest in simply singing, taking down ships, the thing that was all that she was.
The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months. She followed the ship relentlessly, the need to understand so great. She no longer wanted to draw any man in but him, but she knew she
couldn’t. He never talked to those around him, unknowing to the noises around him. Once, a man
fell overboard, the entire ship burst out in yelling as the rest of the men unsuccessfully attempted
to save him from the swallowing tide. She watched the immune man, who took several counts to
even notice anything had gone wrong. He did not react until he noticed the people around him in
a panic.
After what seemed like an eternity, the ship came to dock. At first she kept her distance, knowing the danger of coming too close, but as time passed she found herself drawing closer. When the sun finally started to come down, the men filed back onto the ship. She watched each man walk on, looking for his face. Finally, the gangplank was pulled back up and she started to go into a panic because he had not come back onto the ship. Hoping she had made a mistake, she followed the vessel, carefully watching the post he normally attended. It did not take her long to see that she had not been wrong, that he never came back.
Once again, she experienced a new feeling, a deep pain in her chest. She couldn’t identify it, for she never felt it before. The pain tore heavily in her chest at this realization. What was she to do? Soon after this, she felt something familiar... annoyance. Months she had spent chasing this man, trying to learn how to make him fall to her song. She would never make the mistake again of losing what she was, letting herself fall out of her nature. She looked up at the ship, starting to sing her song.
This time, as the men jumped over into the sea, she smiled. She watched as the entire ship went down, collapsing into the sea. She’d thought before she felt like a goddess, but that feeling was nothing compared to how she felt now.
After what seemed like an eternity, the ship came to dock. At first she kept her distance, knowing the danger of coming too close, but as time passed she found herself drawing closer. When the sun finally started to come down, the men filed back onto the ship. She watched each man walk on, looking for his face. Finally, the gangplank was pulled back up and she started to go into a panic because he had not come back onto the ship. Hoping she had made a mistake, she followed the vessel, carefully watching the post he normally attended. It did not take her long to see that she had not been wrong, that he never came back.
Once again, she experienced a new feeling, a deep pain in her chest. She couldn’t identify it, for she never felt it before. The pain tore heavily in her chest at this realization. What was she to do? Soon after this, she felt something familiar... annoyance. Months she had spent chasing this man, trying to learn how to make him fall to her song. She would never make the mistake again of losing what she was, letting herself fall out of her nature. She looked up at the ship, starting to sing her song.
This time, as the men jumped over into the sea, she smiled. She watched as the entire ship went down, collapsing into the sea. She’d thought before she felt like a goddess, but that feeling was nothing compared to how she felt now.
I'm guessing that this is a story about a siren calling ships to their death? This is certainly a unique idea- and I love how the siren's character is explored, being vexed by a deaf man.
ReplyDeleteMy intention was a siren who came across a new ship and has intentions of drowning all the sailors aboard. Thank you so much!
DeleteI enjoyed how the siren was so persistent in trying to figure out why the man didn't hear her song. The feeling that she has at the end, I'm not so sure I understand. Maybe it's because I don't understand the mythology of sirens but that's just me. Although, I would have enjoyed it if we were given a reaction to the siren's discovery of the man's hearing disability.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I did not base her ending feelings on mythology, instead just feelings I'd experienced and watched those close to me experience. I'll attempt to try my best to explain! The siren becomes infatuated with the man, so much that it consumes her whole live. It becomes every thought she has, basically. I explained before that she does not have a clear understanding as to why she kills, concluding it to be in her nature. The fixation she develops on the man causes her to actually think and reject what she typically does. She instead focuses entirely on the deaf man. When it comes to him leaving, she's lost everything that has been her life for the last several months. She then experiences grief, which quickly turns to anger. This anger she has make her vengeful, and she decides that even if she can't have the one man, she has the power over all others. Which is why she now looks at herself in a new light and feels more powerful and strong.
DeleteI'm not sure if this helps, but I hope you maybe have a more clear understanding?
I loved reading this story because it showed how curiosity can consume a being's life. I related to this story in a very heavy way because I know that whenever a subject may come up that I don't know a lot about, I enjoy doing what I can to learn what I can on that subject. In this story the creature had let just the very existence of the man consume her entire life. Even if it may not be to that same severity in real life people can often let irrelevant things in life consume them. I enjoy this story because you can connect it to real life and understand exactly why the creature was feeling the way she did.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm very glad you were able to connect to it!
DeleteFirst off I like the whole idea and irony of a siren being on the opposite end of the stick in the sense that it was she that was being drawn in. Likewise I found it very intriguing how the siren was able to find herself after being lured for so long and also how this whole situation represents a deeper message and finding ones self even after being allured by another. Overall it was a very good and different depiction on the Greek mythological allusions implied.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm glad you were able to draw connections and understand the message I was aiming to send.
DeleteI really enjoyed your story. Your use of imagery was great and using a siren as the subject was very interesting and ironic considering how you titled your poem "deaf".
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI like how the story started off not making much sense. At first I thought the story was about a bird or vulture because you described the main character perching on a rock. However, I like that the story forced me to keep reading in order to truly get that the main character wasn't a bird, but a siren. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I was hoping to vaguely describe and leave it to the reader to understand what I was talking about through description, forcing them to read more to completely comprehend.
DeleteI did not understand the meaning of the title until I finished reading the entire passage. That's so clever! You used such vivid details that I could almost feel the way the speaker was feeling. It all makes perfect sense in the end!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm glad you enjoyed and finally understood everything at the end of the story.
DeleteThis story was Amazing!
ReplyDeleteWhat I am believing to be a siren has a constant argument with herself over power and importance. This was all she thought until one man was not trapped by her song. its remarkable that this story was told with out once saying the man was deaf or mute which allows us readers to assume and infer that that was the only reason why.
Someone could also consider this story as a metaphor for a person will all the attention. Something along the lines of, " People will always follow and yearn for what they cannot have.
Great Story and a delight to read!
-Deacon Oritz
this reminded of a challenge i once saw that was to describe a color without actually saying the name of the color, this was a perfect example of that and i loved how you played around with the details and made it your own interpretation of how a disability would be perceived as immunity from something as a siren's call.
ReplyDeleteNathalie Boutros
Victoria Ervin
ReplyDeleteper. 4
Your story was very intriguing. The way you used imagery in the story made it a really good read. I liked how you used irony in the story by making the siren the one who is being lured in by the human. I feel like this story holds a deeper message which is to not let anyone take away your confidence or make you feel less but instead you should move on and be yourself.
I can really appreciate the tone of this short story, it really matches this time of year.
ReplyDelete- Michael Pursley
i found extreme liking to this peace because i love fiction story's and it was creative for the fact that the title doesn't become fully understood until the end. The irony of the siren and the title was also interesting and stood out to me. - harmony p5
ReplyDeleteI love how you were able to convey the story of the siren. The title was a little misleading but I specifically enjoyed the development as the story goes on.
ReplyDeleteYour story definitely kept me intrigued. I love your use of details in order to make the story come to life. I like how you put your own spin on the siren mythology. Amazing job! -Mackenzie M.
ReplyDeleteI like how different this is to the other pieces throughout the school year. I love how unique it is and how much thought you put into it. Very well done! - Zoe
ReplyDeleteThis was very interesting to read! Personally, I am very interested in sirens and their origin, the mythology surrounding them, the impact they have on the modern world, etc. This was just very cool to read :)
ReplyDelete- Sadaf Sharif
I'm honestly surprised that I got hooked when I was reading. I'm honestly not one for reading stories as I usually get bored and skim through them pretty quickly, but this one, I read thoroughly. It was interesting how we follow the siren in this story and see what her curiosity does to her. You did a good job here especially with the way you used imagery.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how you taught a moral story through an unfamiliar and unexpected perspective. I would have never thought I would learn the lesson of self authenticity through a mythological figure hat is usually vexed.
ReplyDelete-Gabriel Villanueva
Your story was very interesting to read and i was drawn in by each sentence. I like the imagery you used to describe certain things throughout your story as well!! Keep up the good work, I hope to hear more stories from you in the future!
ReplyDeleteGarret Janikowski
Period 4
I absolutely love the lore and eerie feeling behind this, along with the curiosity factor of the mermaid. I absolutely love this piece! -Eric V
ReplyDeletethis was very intriguing. I greatly enjoyed your use of detail and how you are able to portray the siren. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your short story. I liked that you gave your story a unique perspective like the point of view of the siren, which is something that I've never seen before.
ReplyDeleteKylie, this piece is incredible as to how you detail the flaws of being deaf as a strength. The way you talk about the sirens shows your aptitude for knowledge and appreciation of literature, however, it also shows that you are able to take an old tale and make it your own. You made a story of destruction into that of hope, especially for those people who are dear. I feel this story has so many underlying themes and messages...it is an incredible piece overall. Great job Kylie! - Royston
ReplyDeleteThis story was interesting to read, it kept me intrigued the entire time, it was very well written and descriptive. I really liked ho unique this story was in comparison to others, it wasn't like everyone else's. Great job!!!
ReplyDeleteWow. This is astonishing, some of the best short story work I've ever seen. Very good job!
ReplyDeleteThe way you captured the suspense of not understand what made this man immune to her songs made this piece impossible to stop reading. I loved how even after she was derailed from her usually doings once the mysterious man was out of her life she wasted no time getting back to doing what makes her happy.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was amazing! I loved every detail and it kept me on my toes. Too bad you couldn't write more because I really want to see how much more amazing it could be!
ReplyDeleteThis was a truly interesting and unique story that had me hooked all the way through and had me dying to know how the story ended, it was a well written story and I only wish it was longer so I can read more of it.
ReplyDeleteThis was an interesting and enticing story. I like how you put your own spin on greek mythology, and made a narrative from a point of view that is not often seen in other stories and books.
ReplyDeleteIt was awesome depiction on the mythology! I found very amazement irony that the siren met in this story, and this intrigue was keeping my attention through the whole time I was reading it. Thank you for this descriptive and meaningful message!
ReplyDeleteFantastic job! Your short story was very well written and had me intrigued from start to finish! I enjoyed catching the hidden messages of the story. I also enjoyed reading from the siren's point of view. Although she was evil, you kept the audience filled curiosity as to what would happen next-Brianna Villanueva
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this piece. I felt like it was truly unique and well put together, Nice work.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story Kylie. The story being in third person really does change the way the story is perceived. Love it! - Mikayla Sharpe
ReplyDelete