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Monday, February 24, 2014

Annie--Snitch



SNITCH
            Leah walked into school with her head lowered and her gaze focused on the little black dots of old gum stuck on the concrete paths of her high school. She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to have to talk to these people, get their dirty looks, their judgmental comments. She already knew what everybody thought about her, she could sum it up in one word: snitch. Just last week, Leah was on top of the world, everything had been going so smooth and perfect. Her grades were awesome, she was having so much fun with her friends finishing off her senior year of high school, and preparing to move in with some of her best friends once she started her first year of college at her dream school. She told herself she never should have gotten comfortable, she knew that the other shoe always dropped sometime, “it definitely did, and it brought my entire world down with it.”, she whispered, as her thoughts drifted back to this day last week...

            Parker was just some guy this time a year ago, Leah had seen him all over school, but never once did she bother to pay attention to him or his annoyingly obnoxious football buddies. Parker was constantly flirting with everybody, always with a new girl on his arm walking to and from class; Leah was always waiting for these idiotic people she had to share a school with to wake up, but that day never came, and it wasn't her problem anyways. She saw him just then, walking through the hallways, as always with some poor girl in tow, and rolled her eyes but had to catch her breath when her best friend almost trampled her in the hallway. Renee was the same age as Leah and they had been best friends for almost 10 years; Renee was always excited or rambling on about something. This time, it was about the big party for the weekend that everybody said was a “must-go”. “Can we pleassssse go Leah? I don't want to do another movie night. No offense, but I'm getting stir crazy, and besides it will be fun for us to let loose for once.” Leah hated going to parties, she always felt out of place, and she was never the type to drink or do anything like that, so she felt she had no point in being there. It was on the tip of her tongue to say “no” to Renee, when suddenly Leah changed her mind, “Yeah I guess we can go”, she said as Renee almost fell over from how surprised and excited she was. Leah figured she could humor her best friend just this once, and besides she was a senior and it was time she let herself enjoy her last few months in high school.

            Leah and Renee had spent an hour getting ready at Leah's house and they both hoped that tonight was going to be fun. As the girls pulled up to the party, they could see a bunch of familiar faces and Leah thought that maybe this time, she might actually have fun and let loose, which she never did. The girls walked into the front of the house and immediately ran into Parker and a few of his pals that Leah could not stand. Parker's eyes went wide as he looked at the girls, surprise crossing his face, “Wow didn't expect you guys to come out of your shell that you hide in”, he laughed. Leah rolled her eyes and tried to walk around him but Parker excused both himself and Leah, pulling her down a nearby hall. She went to turn around and get Renee's attention so they could make an excuse to dodge the guys, but Renee was already surrounded by Parker's friends and Leah couldn't get to her.
            Parker grabbed Leah and they walked into the kitchen where she felt like there were waaay more people than should be squished in that tiny little area. When she looked to her left, she saw a guy she knew from her English class and began to make conversation when she heard Parker's buddies come up behind her, building a human wall. Leah stepped back just in time for Parker to come and through his fist at the front of Leah's classmate's face. Leah gasped and watched horrified as Parker and his buddies “went to town” on her classmate. She stood a few seconds frozen in shock before pushing her way through the group of boys, dodging punches and screaming as loud as she could. It was a waste of time, a group of people had gathered around the fight and were shouting, egging the guys on. Once she finally got to the middle of the circle, she saw Parker on top of the classmate and the victim's face all bruised and bloody. On instinct she threw herself on top of Parker, knocking him over, she couldn't believe the savages these guys were, and all for amusement. Quickly gaining her reigns, she stood on shaky knees and tried her best to drag her beaten classmate out of the party and on to the front porch, nobody offering to help her.
            By the time Leah got her classmate to the front of the house, she could see that he was spitting up blood and didn't know what to do. Her head and her heart were pounding, her pulse a million miles a minute. Where was Renee? Why wasn't anybody helping her? Why did this poor guy get the living hell beat out of him? Why did Parker pull her along to see it, did he want somebody to impress? She tried with unstable hands to dial 911 and ushered an ambulance over screaming at them to “Hurry!” She hated Parker and his friends for doing this to her classmate, no matter what the circumstance. Parker and his friends weren't small guys, Parker himself was 18 and stood at least a head foot taller than his fighting partner.
            When the emergency personnel arrived, a police vehicle pulled up at the same time. Leah knew what she needed to do, she had to protect her classmate. Parker was 18, he could be charged for this, and she was going to make sure he got what he deserved. She silently sent a thank-you up above, for allowing her to be there for the party, as she relayed her entire night to the police officer, who stood by taking notes, not missing a beat. She didn't care what people thought, if she was a buzz kill, a goody two shoe’s, or a snitch.  One thing was for sure:  she was going to make Parker’s life a living hell.

39 comments:

  1. absolutely amazing! I was confused, I have to admit, at the beginning when you talked about life turning to poop, and then you talked about a party Leah went to. I mean she helped a friend, I just couldn't connect the two in the long run really. but i applaud your excellence! :D

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  2. So intense! Wow! This gave me goosebumps! I thought when i was reading this piece it'll be those romantic chick flicks where the jock finds interest with the not-so popular girl at a party, but this was very similar but with a plot twist than what i've expected! I wonder who was the classmate, what was his name? Was he also a jock as well or an outsider with the brains of intelligence? This piece somewhat reminds me of a movie about high school parties and/or college frat parties! lol! so very interesting! Great work Annie!

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  3. You are an amazing writer!! I was seriously on edge, not knowing what to expect and I was trying to read as fast as I could to see what was going to happen. I hate how people are seen as being "buzz-kills" for trying to do the right thing, it's ridiculous. The last line was like OMG! AMAZING!!! :)

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  4. I was on the edge of my seat reading this. I tried my best not to skip lines to try and find out the ending. Very well written andsuch a great story!

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  5. That fight came out of nowhere! I was take by surprise, eager to go on on! I love how instead of scolding herself for calling the police or anything, she praised god for letting her be there.

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  6. "Little did Leah know that her classmate was a zombie. She realized why Parker tried to kill this person as the zombie classmate thrust himself at Leah. Dramatic irony spewed all over the place."

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  7. Can this just be a book that keeps going? This was so good & it really drew me in! It's definitely a book I would read if you kept writing. Great job!

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  8. I love the intensity of this and the fact that things like this can actually happen. I was speeding through this because I was so interested, great job! I loved how it also has a great meaning to the story that a lot of high schoolers or people our age can relate to.

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  9. I was really interested in finding out what would happen and you took me by surprise cause I was thinking something completely different

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  10. Wow Annie I knew as soon as I saw your name as the author of this post that it was gonna be good, but I didnt expect it to be this good. Seriously this piece was amazing. YOu have a very distict voice in your writing and it is evident that you took alot of time to write your blog post. This story took a diffrent turn than I thought but becasue of that it became that much better. After reading many cliche stories in which the poplular girl ends up with the jock I was happy for this change of pace. Kinda of inspiring as well because of the courage the character had to have in standing apart. HTe last line was epic as well "One thing was for sure: she was going to make Parker’s life a living hell." Great way to end a great blog post!!!!

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  11. Ayyyee 10 points for Leah! To be honest Parker is a....hmm let me keep that to myself, what I was about to say about him was rude. On everything I loved your story though. It is just so relateable to what us high schoolers in general sadly have to deal with now. Good Job !!

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  12. Very nice story. It's amazing how Leah had the guts to go up against such a big bully without a care in the world about what others might think of her. It's very well written, and I also love how your story teaches the lesson about standing up for yourself and others without caring what others might think of you.

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  13. cheater cheater punkin eater, this was not 500 words hahaha but am i ever so glad. you needed each of them to deliver the story as eloquently as you did. For some reason, and i don't think i'm alone in this, we always favor the outcast character in books. This main character definitely was, your story followed a traditional story line but it did not detract from the entertainment. I feel like if you would continue this you could do the third erson omniscent and the next chapter would be in parkers view, and hten the classmates view and then all their stories collide. I dunno just a thought.thank you for sharing:)

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  14. The fight was random! I was like where did that come from great job I really liked this

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  15. Wow, that was intense. The thing about it is, this is so accurate because people treat others badly for no reason.

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  16. Ahh! Good job Leah! I liked how you started writing about what the outcome of the situation was before we actually found out why she felt this way. I think you made it more meaningful by doing that.

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  17. This story reminded me of the novel Speak. I'd hope that anybody would go out of their way to help out another in a situation like that, even if it means getting stupid nicknames. I just really like how the story itself applies to everyday life. It's terrible seeing how cruel kids can be. Anyways, good job Annie :)

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  18. At first when I saw the title I thought "Is this about a tattle-tail?" But then I was interested in this. I like it! Great work!

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  19. Amen sister! I feel like this is a true story because this kind of stuff happens all the time and people stand there or sit there and watch and record while terrible things happen, but they don't for a second try to stop it. Thank you, for creating Leah...she kind of reminded me of Jane Eyre. Just because some people act stupid doesn't mean we all should. Snaps for Leah and snaps for yoy Annie for writing this!

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  20. Your writing style keeps me entertained and involved in the plot. Pretty interesting story!

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  21. I liked the energy it gained throughout like as we got to know more and more of what transpired at the party, the level of intensity configurated with the confidence of the main character.

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  22. OMG that story was super intense :O I hate how people are considered snitches for usually doing the right thing. The last line made me root for Leah in the end! I could relate to her soooo much. Awesome job Annie :)

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  23. Great job! I liked how strongly portrayed the female character was. Her personality was what caused you to keep reading and made it a great passage.

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  24. wow this was really good! good job!!

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  25. This was great, your ability to make your own story and it be so good is awesome, the irony was great as well.

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  26. this was really good. i enjoyed the main character and thought that the story and plot developed fairly nicely.

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  27. Wow haha this probably made everyone hate her even more... i saw where she was coming from but i see myself being one that would get annoyed by her choices. At the end of the day you shouldnt care what anyone has to say about you and its only high school youll never see these people again

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  28. prologue I like it aha good job annie I really enjoyed reading this I felt like I had fallen into one of sarah dessen's books (: but yours may have been alittle intense with the fight ;p

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  29. The piece was very well written. I loved how it kept me wanting to read more. Great job!

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  30. Oh burn on Parker! That's right woman power! If I was there I'd do the same thing as Leah, and I hope others would too. Seriously popularity doesn't last a life time, and who care if the whole school hates you... all you got to do is hate them right back. It's sad not many people know right from wrong, and a lot have silence voices. Great piece!!!
    - Hannah Mueller (12) per. 3

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  31. DUN DUN DUN! Man, bump Parker. Good for Leah, though. I know I care a lot of what people thing about me. This was great, Annie! You used a lot of imagery and a good diction.

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  32. ANNIE!! omg!! GIRL POWER ahahh.i loved reading this piece! it was so thrilling and full of action and suspense! i want to know how Leah makes Parkers life a living hell! amazing job!

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  33. Talk about drama. You really had be going for a moment I though I was reading the script for a movie or something. I am really interested in the development of your plot, your rising action was good, you reached your climax and rally hit it with your resolution which is well done. Although I wish you cold have developed more the male roles I feel that they also deserved a little background in other for us to really trace their motives, but you did a well job. I am a hatter now.

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  34. The suspense was putting me on the edge of my seat and I was screaming in my head. Good job!!

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  35. The opening description sounds like a lot of our fellow peers. In a good way! :D Very relatable! :D Great work!

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  36. The organization was excellent in how you talked of the resolution before the climax. It gave it a much different effect than a conventional story and I quite liked it.

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  37. When you bolded the word Snitch I felt the tone completely change you are a great writer and the beginning paragraph was so relatable to a lot of us as seniors and so I was immediately able to connect with the main character! Love the writing Leah!

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  38. I'm not going to lie; I totally thought she was going to get raped or something! I'm so happy she didn't! Also, I can tell that you probably relate the main character a lot to yourself, so it was cool see what kind of person you are by reading this. This story just sends a message to all of us about integrity, and being true to who we are.

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