I used to be a nobody. Someone who could walk down the street and not be noticed or
bothered by anyone or anything. Every day I would go to school and go straight home. I never had any
drama. I never had any problems. I wish I could say the same now.
I used to pray to be a somebody. I wanted people to notice me—or at least I thought I did.
Everywhere I go, people stop and stare. They whisper things to their friends, then their friends turn and look. I can feel their eyes looking me up and down. My ears ring from their whispers. A ringing sensation that never goes away. At first, I enjoyed the attention. Now, I miss my old life more than ever.
Every day I wake up extra early. I take my time when getting ready because I have an appearance to uphold to. I cannot choose to be lazy because it is not allowed. My every move will be watched, and I must take this into consideration. Occasionally, I will meet somebody who wants to take a picture with me, so I’m not allowed to not look good. I can’t even go to the store without being noticed.
I thought that attention and fame was what I wanted. I did not know that it came at a price.
It is harder than ever to tell who is really my friend, and who is not. People will lie. People will find any and everything to use against you. People will believe anything they hear just so they can have something to talk about. It’s crazy how people change up when they see you doing good. The same people that used to talk bad about me hit me with “Remember me. I see you doing good. We gotta hang out sometime,” but I know why. Nobody wants to be friends with me, they just want to be friends with my fame. I miss being a nobody.
I am always in the spotlight. I am expected to be able to do anything and everything perfectly. I work myself harder than I should and push myself past my breaking point. No matter how hard I try, somebody will still be unsatisfied. There will always be that one person who has something negative to say. Even when 1,000 people praise me, the one person that doesn’t is the only one I see. Every day I go through my comments and the only ones I see are the ones that hurt me. Will I ever be good enough?
Every day I lose a piece of myself. You wouldn’t know because I cover it up. I cannot let them see me down, but deep down inside I am withering away. I am forcing myself to be someone I know I am not. Even though I know it is wrong, I cannot stop. Fame is an addiction and I am an addict.
Months go by, I do not recognize myself anymore. I lost all of my “friends.” I never have time to be me. My fame has consumed me and transformed me into the face that the media wants me to be. Nobody knows the real me anymore. I don’t even know myself. I lost myself somewhere along the way. I guess I decided that fame, was worth more than who I really was.
I wish I could go back. Back before the fame, back before the attention. I wish I could go back to little girl with the big dreams. I wish I knew that fame isn’t what I wanted or needed. I wanted people to know who I was but not just because I was a pretty face. I had a beautiful mind and soul. I miss that part of me. There is an unfilled part of me where they used to be. I wish I could find them again.
I used to pray to be a somebody. Now I pray to be a nobody.
I used to pray to be a somebody. I wanted people to notice me—or at least I thought I did.
Everywhere I go, people stop and stare. They whisper things to their friends, then their friends turn and look. I can feel their eyes looking me up and down. My ears ring from their whispers. A ringing sensation that never goes away. At first, I enjoyed the attention. Now, I miss my old life more than ever.
Every day I wake up extra early. I take my time when getting ready because I have an appearance to uphold to. I cannot choose to be lazy because it is not allowed. My every move will be watched, and I must take this into consideration. Occasionally, I will meet somebody who wants to take a picture with me, so I’m not allowed to not look good. I can’t even go to the store without being noticed.
I thought that attention and fame was what I wanted. I did not know that it came at a price.
It is harder than ever to tell who is really my friend, and who is not. People will lie. People will find any and everything to use against you. People will believe anything they hear just so they can have something to talk about. It’s crazy how people change up when they see you doing good. The same people that used to talk bad about me hit me with “Remember me. I see you doing good. We gotta hang out sometime,” but I know why. Nobody wants to be friends with me, they just want to be friends with my fame. I miss being a nobody.
I am always in the spotlight. I am expected to be able to do anything and everything perfectly. I work myself harder than I should and push myself past my breaking point. No matter how hard I try, somebody will still be unsatisfied. There will always be that one person who has something negative to say. Even when 1,000 people praise me, the one person that doesn’t is the only one I see. Every day I go through my comments and the only ones I see are the ones that hurt me. Will I ever be good enough?
Every day I lose a piece of myself. You wouldn’t know because I cover it up. I cannot let them see me down, but deep down inside I am withering away. I am forcing myself to be someone I know I am not. Even though I know it is wrong, I cannot stop. Fame is an addiction and I am an addict.
Months go by, I do not recognize myself anymore. I lost all of my “friends.” I never have time to be me. My fame has consumed me and transformed me into the face that the media wants me to be. Nobody knows the real me anymore. I don’t even know myself. I lost myself somewhere along the way. I guess I decided that fame, was worth more than who I really was.
I wish I could go back. Back before the fame, back before the attention. I wish I could go back to little girl with the big dreams. I wish I knew that fame isn’t what I wanted or needed. I wanted people to know who I was but not just because I was a pretty face. I had a beautiful mind and soul. I miss that part of me. There is an unfilled part of me where they used to be. I wish I could find them again.
I used to pray to be a somebody. Now I pray to be a nobody.
Wow. I really enjoyed reading this piece. I think deep down everyone wishes they were a "somebody" or have "fame", but they don't realize that it's not real joy, just temporary happiness. You gave a glimpse of what it is like on the other side and I hope that many people read this piece and discover that they should just be themselves, and no one else. -Trenton Robles
ReplyDeleteI am glad you were brave enough to write this. Not a lot of people stop to think about what a famous person feels. No one ever stops to see the real them. After reading this I can say that I see the real just a bit. Continue to write and speak your mind it can be very healing. I really enjoyed reading this it was beautifully written.- Kyra Perry
ReplyDeleteReally eye-opening piece that reveals the other side of popularity. The short, concise sentences really emphasize the blandness and emptiness of the life that fame has caused you, and helped to maintained that solemn, hopeless tone throughout the piece. I'm really sorry that you feel as though you've lost yourself, but I think that you'll find that the only attention that really matters comes from the people that truly care about and love you for YOU! :) - Jeanine Franco, P. 5
ReplyDeleteWhat makes this piece stand out so much to me is the potent, powerful tone. The stream of consciousness style of writing augments the crisp, concise language that conveys your purpose so clearly.
ReplyDeleteWow, im really happy you had the courage to write this, it takes a lot. It truly shows the dark side of fame and what that can do to someone. It shows that sometimes people just need to be happy with what they have and that whatever it is, it's enough and that's okay. Nothing needs to be perfect. Otherwise it'll consume a person and they will be less happy than they initially were. Thanks for writing about this. -kylie houghton
ReplyDeleteI love the simplicity of this piece! It really helps convey aimlessness and loneliness you feel as a result of your fame. I know it must have a taken a lot of courage to write this piece and for that, I admire you!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very thought provoking piece, no one will know what it's like to hold such an image of yourself, unless they truly have to go through it. People think that fame is such a good thing and that life would be so much better with it, even I have once thought that, but this really changed my perspective on the way I see fame as well as the people who are famous. As long as you know who you are or find yourself, never lose sight of that, you're never too far gone. -Johanna Medina
ReplyDeleteI often feel inadequate for my lack of large scale influence. This work, however, served as a reminder that the responsibility of influence is a difficult trade one must make for fame. This piece was a very important message.
ReplyDelete- Andrew Kim
This was such a raw piece and it made me feel as if I was living in your shoes. I really enjoyed this piece because I feel like people think fame is all about money and attention and want to live that lifestyle when in reality, your world completely changes. Now a days people will judge you off of anything and hold it against you and sometimes we just need space to breathe and realize that life is more about your image and material things. People can really learn from your piece and I just want to say that you are more than what people see you as, you are strong. - Lauren Valencia
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you portrayed the idea of wanting what we cannot have, it was extremely eye-opening to realize that what some believe to be a blessing, others believe to be a curse and i think its significant to understand the importance of being appreciative for the things you may have and to never take things for granted and I believe you truly captured the essence of this idea.
ReplyDeleteI want to say thank you for writing this. In a world of over 7 billion people, everybody is somebody and nobody at the same time. But in that jumble of people, all that matters in how you perceive yourself. What people think doesn't matter until you make it matter. I know it won't be immediate, but take time to enjoy things you want to do.
ReplyDelete-Chloe Bohrer
I'm particular about this piece, I do like it and appreciate the work you did on it. I used to think of the question as people being enough. It seems in the world that we are estranged in the things in life, brought down rather then being uplifted from friends or family or people. We seek for appraisal but yet when we get it, we feel as if were not good enough still and seek approval from others. You put i prayed to be somebody, now i want to be a nobody, I saw it as when you came into High School as where your life took a toll on you and changed you completely. I think the trials we go through in life should be seen as something possible and they teach us a valuable lesson sooner or later and were able to comprehend why that happened or why I am the way I am. As it's very hard in this world to be yourself, but before you ask approval from others, you should value yourself first. Love this piece and your inout on it. -Trinity
ReplyDeleteWriting this must have taken a lot of courage. Not many people stop and think about how the person truly feels inside, they just worry about the smile that they see or don't see. Even though we may. not understand how you truly feel, we can still take a lot from this piece. When you said, "I take my time when getting ready because I have an appearance to uphold to. I cannot choose to be lazy because it is not allowed," I felt a wave of sadness take over. I feel like you shouldn't have to feel this way, you should always just be you. Thank you for writing this piece. - Isabella Nakafu per. 5
ReplyDeleteI really really like this piece. I want to thank you for the topic you've chosen as I think that this issue is really common in today's society with all of social media. Even though I have not been in this position yet (at least I haven't known about) but this story hits a deeper meaning with me. So again thank you for sharing this piece, and I hope everything is doing great for you.
ReplyDelete-Dom