How to Love--Mikael

As the idea of falling in love became more common in younger generations, the practice
and definition of love has been skewed by the portrayal of relationships in society. Falling in love has become an epidemic to our youth, becoming so easy to achieve without the proper mindset and time for a relationship to mature into that level, resulting in relationships that ultimately don’t work out. Despite being such a young individual, I hope the few tips I provide from my experience and observations resonates within your life as you learn to love.
Have a matured mentality
It’s a sad fact that relationship trauma is a reality that many teens have experienced. Whether it be a bad break up or a cheating significant other, past relationship issues could’ve been resolved if people’s mindsets were aligned. A relationship where two people share a common goal and share the same level of maturity creates a solid foundation, where the following tips can be practiced and result in wonderful relationships. Too often, I’ve seen relationships from friends fall apart as a result of this common issue. A couple that works together towards a goal, whatever that goal may be, will result in a closer relationship. Another issue for our youth is entering into a relationship with the wrong mindset, based off of lust or the heat of the moment, making it hard for a relationship to grow. A simple answer to this is to take your time, don’t rush into relationships expecting them to be permanent or perfect from the start. Just like you, love takes time to mature and grow into something beautiful.
Know how to communicate

Despite the various methods of communication today, many relationships fail from the lack of communication going on. Since the power to read minds has not been achieved, it must be understood by everyone that nobody will truly know how you feel unless you SAY it. Not through subtle actions, differences in behavior, or by complaining on social media. Just say what you feel; don’t think that your significant other knows how to read your mind or that you can read theirs. It’s understandable that it is nerve wracking, not knowing how the other person will react or respond to whatever comes out. However, without the ability to communicate and the maturity to understand that feelings must be communicated in order to be understood, problems WILL arise. Another thing to keep in mind is that being consistent is important when you are communicating. Good morning and good night text are a simple way to reassure your significant other everyday. When you’re already in a relationship, keeping the same energy is important because it shows continuous effort, which is always appreciated in a relationship.
Be honest with them and yourself
Being honest with your significant other is easy, just don’t lie. Simple as that. It may sound hypocritical a high school student, who lies about doing homework, grades, and MANY other things, to tell you not to lie, but lying to your significant other, big or small, is the easiest way to hurt the person you care for most. To put it in perspective, how would you feel if your significant other did the same to you? This tip goes hand in hand with communication, if you cannot honestly communicate with your significant other, then the relationship will not mature. Another thing to keep in mind is to be honest with yourself. Don’t be forced to feel happy just because you’re in a relationship or to maintain appearances. Never settle for less and make sure that you receive the love that you deserve.
Don’t waste each other's time

It’s harsh to put it that way, but we live in a world where time is the most valuable thing we have. Don’t think that being in a relationship is a mind game or that you must figure out exactly what your significant other is thinking. Stop wasting precious time assuming and being confused; just be direct and honest with your communication between each other. Instead of wasting time, do something more productive to make the relationship grow closer. For example, if issues arise between the two of you, whatever it may be, address the issue directly and resolve it. Letting a problem sit will only make it bigger, resulting in more problems occurring for no reason. A rule that I live by is that if the situation allows, I won’t let my significant other go to sleep without fully addressing the issue and reassuring that everything is going to be okay. Simple, direct, and genuine communication between each other is all it takes to save yourself from the anxiety and stress you will feel trying to understand each other without talking. Understand that love isn’t perfect
Don’t have expectations that everyday is going to be easy in a relationship. Don’t feel like your significant other has a responsibility to always be there to make you happy. There are days where you won’t be at your best or your significant other won’t be at their best, and that’s okay. There are going to be disagreements. There are going to be fights and arguments. There are going to be days where the communication is lacking or your schedules don’t allow time to spend with each other. But that’s okay, because learning to love is accepting the mistakes and shortcomings between each other and overcoming them together. Don’t let the faults shadow the happiness that arises from the relationship. It’s always good to take a step back once and awhile with your significant other and talk about the memories you shared together, good and bad. It’s a reminder that despite all the bad things that have happened, minor or major, you guys have come a long way together. That’s the most important thing to take away from this tip; you and your significant other will overcome any obstacle as long as you work TOGETHER.