-Smack-
An unexpected bright red apple plops and awakens him, who was sleeping under the
apple tree, flourishing bright green during the Spring season. The sun’s golden rays straight
above scatter through the rustling, flowing leaves. He gets up, apple in hand, and heads into the
house.
“My god Richard, what happened to your face?!” said his mom.
“It’s nothing major; this apple just fell on my face. It might leave a bruise.” he replied. “How are you supposed to find a nice girlfriend getting your face all messed up like that.
Remember I want some beautiful grandchildren to take care off when I’m old and when you’re a doctor curing cancer.” she says jokingly.
“I know. I know. You always say that. What if I don’t have a wife in the future?”
“Don’t say things like that. A real man needs a loving wife. It’s what God would want.” “Ok.”, he says reluctantly.
“Remember, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Your dad was pretty popular himself
in high school. Look at the beautiful wife he has now.”
“Okok, I get it. I’m gonna go check out that new pet shop.”
“Have you cleaned your room?”
“Yes.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. On your way out, toss out these apples in the dumpster for me.”
“What’s wrong with them?”
“They probably fell too far away from the tree; they’re bruised. We don’t want to eat
those apples.” “Alright.”
“Alright?!”
“Yes, mom.”
“That’s better.”
On the way to the store, he notices a large, black figure soaring through the skies; its
vigilant nature suggests it’s looking for prey. He doesn’t think much of it and proceeds. He reads “Pets Kingdom! Where you can find a part of yourself in every pet!”, owned by Lindsey Greene and Ben Turner. Richard steps in and sees the owners. Ben Turner easily reaches the upper shelves, seemingly restocking heavy boxes. His beard can probably house a couple pets. Towards the right of the store, Lindsey at the counter notices Richard step in. She has the brightest, most-welcoming smile accompanied by her golden, flowing hair.
“Hey there kiddo! How can I help ya out?” “Oh, I’m just looking around.”
“My god Richard, what happened to your face?!” said his mom.
“It’s nothing major; this apple just fell on my face. It might leave a bruise.” he replied. “How are you supposed to find a nice girlfriend getting your face all messed up like that.
Remember I want some beautiful grandchildren to take care off when I’m old and when you’re a doctor curing cancer.” she says jokingly.
“I know. I know. You always say that. What if I don’t have a wife in the future?”
“Don’t say things like that. A real man needs a loving wife. It’s what God would want.” “Ok.”, he says reluctantly.
“Remember, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Your dad was pretty popular himself
in high school. Look at the beautiful wife he has now.”
“Okok, I get it. I’m gonna go check out that new pet shop.”
“Have you cleaned your room?”
“Yes.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. On your way out, toss out these apples in the dumpster for me.”
“What’s wrong with them?”
“They probably fell too far away from the tree; they’re bruised. We don’t want to eat
those apples.” “Alright.”
“Alright?!”
“Yes, mom.”
“That’s better.”
On the way to the store, he notices a large, black figure soaring through the skies; its
vigilant nature suggests it’s looking for prey. He doesn’t think much of it and proceeds. He reads “Pets Kingdom! Where you can find a part of yourself in every pet!”, owned by Lindsey Greene and Ben Turner. Richard steps in and sees the owners. Ben Turner easily reaches the upper shelves, seemingly restocking heavy boxes. His beard can probably house a couple pets. Towards the right of the store, Lindsey at the counter notices Richard step in. She has the brightest, most-welcoming smile accompanied by her golden, flowing hair.
“Hey there kiddo! How can I help ya out?” “Oh, I’m just looking around.”
“Well alright. If you need anything, just holler.”
He traverses throughout the store like a curious cat, uninterested in the basic array of hamsters, dogs, pets, and snakes, until he notices a bright, stocky, petite bird flaunting what seems to be every color of the rainbow.
“Lindsey! What type of bird is this?” he asks.
“Oh this one? It’s the painted bunting. Pretty fella ain’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Be careful though. These fellas can be very territorial and aggressive. They’re hard to
care for at first, but can be some of the most beautiful, amazing pets you can ever find when you look beyond their initial behaviors.”
He ponders about how his strict, adamant mom would react to him bringing a pet home. However, he looks at the stocky avian and feels an odd connection to it.
“I’ll take him.” he says.
“Good choice.” Lindsey replies.
Richard returns home, cage with the painted bunting in his right hand and the apple in his
left hand.
“What is that?!” exclaimed his mom.
“An apple.”
“I’m not kidding around!”
“It’s a painted bunting. Isn’t he pretty?”
“Who gave you permission to get one?! Return it immediately! My god, what will your
dad say when he gets home.”
“What’s wrong with us keeping a bird? I’ll take care of it with my own money. You guys
won’t even have to worry about it.”
“Even if we keep it, didn’t you hear there’s a owl flying around preying on people’s
pets.”
“Oh, I think I saw it earlier.”
“They call it Orion. That’s besides the point. Why don’t you get a normal pet? Get one that isn’t so colorful and won’t draw so much attention from who knows what might be out there.”
“What’s wrong with being different? Don’t you think it’s sad that not a lot of people are willing to take care of it because it just happens to be slightly different. It’s like the apples you waste everyday. Just because they’re a little bruised, that doesn’t mean they aren’t perfectly good apples to eat.”
“I suppose. Fine, you can keep that. Just keep it caged until we know it’s safe okay?” “Ok.”
“What did you say?”
“Yes, mom.”
“Better.”
He traverses throughout the store like a curious cat, uninterested in the basic array of hamsters, dogs, pets, and snakes, until he notices a bright, stocky, petite bird flaunting what seems to be every color of the rainbow.
“Lindsey! What type of bird is this?” he asks.
“Oh this one? It’s the painted bunting. Pretty fella ain’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Be careful though. These fellas can be very territorial and aggressive. They’re hard to
care for at first, but can be some of the most beautiful, amazing pets you can ever find when you look beyond their initial behaviors.”
He ponders about how his strict, adamant mom would react to him bringing a pet home. However, he looks at the stocky avian and feels an odd connection to it.
“I’ll take him.” he says.
“Good choice.” Lindsey replies.
Richard returns home, cage with the painted bunting in his right hand and the apple in his
left hand.
“What is that?!” exclaimed his mom.
“An apple.”
“I’m not kidding around!”
“It’s a painted bunting. Isn’t he pretty?”
“Who gave you permission to get one?! Return it immediately! My god, what will your
dad say when he gets home.”
“What’s wrong with us keeping a bird? I’ll take care of it with my own money. You guys
won’t even have to worry about it.”
“Even if we keep it, didn’t you hear there’s a owl flying around preying on people’s
pets.”
“Oh, I think I saw it earlier.”
“They call it Orion. That’s besides the point. Why don’t you get a normal pet? Get one that isn’t so colorful and won’t draw so much attention from who knows what might be out there.”
“What’s wrong with being different? Don’t you think it’s sad that not a lot of people are willing to take care of it because it just happens to be slightly different. It’s like the apples you waste everyday. Just because they’re a little bruised, that doesn’t mean they aren’t perfectly good apples to eat.”
“I suppose. Fine, you can keep that. Just keep it caged until we know it’s safe okay?” “Ok.”
“What did you say?”
“Yes, mom.”
“Better.”
It takes a couple days for the authorities to capture Orion. Reports say the pugnacious
avian preyed on a good amount of pets around the neighborhood. With it caught, everyone is
relieved to be able to release their pets outdoors. After being territorial and aggressive for a
couple days, like Lindsey had warned, the painted bunting warms up to Richard and his family.
- Pluck-
An unexpected rainbow-colored, stocky bird pecks him on the face and awakens him. “Hey there, Love. Hungry?”
The bird perches on his finger. He grabs a bruised apple that fell far away and feeds it to
Love. There lies the boy, bird, and apple that fell far away from the tree.
An unexpected rainbow-colored, stocky bird pecks him on the face and awakens him. “Hey there, Love. Hungry?”
The bird perches on his finger. He grabs a bruised apple that fell far away and feeds it to
Love. There lies the boy, bird, and apple that fell far away from the tree.
A sweet ending to a sweet story. I liked it, and how you express the dynamic between the Mother and Son, great!
ReplyDeleteI'm not exactly sure how to describe the feelings this story brings, the best I can think of is wholesome. This story is so good, and even though you never directly state the message of the story, it's crystal clear through your story telling. I think that's why it's so good. Great job Richard, it was a great read!
ReplyDeleteOverall its an interesting read that I found to be very influential, especially in todays society when ideas and literary pieces of this sort are often overshadowed or ignored. Furthermore I enjoy how the apple reference was not abandoned but came back in the end to offer a more complete story.
ReplyDeleteThe imagery and hidden meaning in this piece is intriguing. I read this more than once to truly see it all. Great job Richard, It is a beautiful piece that captivated my short span attention.
ReplyDeleteWow... the imagery you provide is outstanding. I like how I'm able to feel what the characters are feeling.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a powerful piece. Your writing capability is so amazing and your added message behind this piece was eye opening. It's so crazy to think of the social norms, or in your case a colorful bird and a bruised apple, that reflect the issues that are happening in today's society. Your way in expressing this important and meaningful message (important to you and so many other people) was beautifully done in a simplistic and artistic way. Thank you for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love the imagery in this piece! Great job Richard! - Sofia Rosales
ReplyDeleteI greatly enjoyed this piece, it was very well written and fun to read. One of my favorite parties was the use of colors, especially in the fist paragraph. I also enjoyed how you incorporated sounds like "Pluck" and "Smack". Great work!
ReplyDelete-Jacob smith
I really liked our story and your message that its OK to be different. Great Job!
ReplyDelete-Nicholas Yazell
I love this piece for one because of it's diction. The use of daily and somewhat improper language really gives the feel of being in the story because it's such a realistic and simplistic situation. Also, I think that your choice of symbolism is quite creative, but nonetheless makes sense and makes for an interesting story. -toby
ReplyDeleteThis was a well written piece. I was engaged the whole time when I was reading this piece. You used good detail throughout your story and also I like the storyline that you had created. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteI really loved this story Richard. I like that you kept reusing the apple that fell from the tree analogy to tell the story of the boy taking care of the rainbow colored pet. Your style of writing is very good at hooking readers into the story, and I wish this could have been longer. Awesome job with this piece Richard!
ReplyDeleteI loved your piece! The imagery was captivating. The message of being "different" than your parents or what is expected is very important because children need to be allowed to be who they wish to be and "fall far from the tree" in order to explore the world and figure out who they are. Thank you for such a great piece. -Belen Delgadillo
ReplyDeleteWow Richard. This was incredible. I love the extensive amount of allusions and metaphors that you used upon crafting such a narrative. It is really truthful and personal in the sense that it applies to anyone who is different, not just in one way. I love that you covered a lot of bases, and with the bird, gave a chance for different things to fall in love. Truly beautiful!!!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved this piece! Your style of writing is truly unique and very descriptive. The story was easy to follow, as well as captivating to read! I'd love for you to continue this piece if you ever had time to spare -Andrea M.
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOODNESS! This story was amazing! I loved the descriptive imagery and purpose of this story. I also admire how it makes your reader think! Great work Richard!
ReplyDeletei enjoyed this peace alot, i loved the imagery, the questioning and the wonder that is portrayed. the clear characters, it helped set out the wonderers and the logic-ers. the story is in almost parallels withe bruised apple and the colorful bird.
ReplyDeleteNathalie Boutros
A really wonderful and creative piece of writing, i enjoyed how the story started with just the boy and the apple, but ended with the boy the bird and the apple. Amazing creativity, great work!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Richard :D I really enjoyed this piece-especially your apple analogy. I love the the "unexpected rainbow colored bird" and I wish we had those in real life. Also, I strongly agree with your message that being different is a beautiful thing and should be accepted!
ReplyDeleteRichard, I really love this piece! What I love most is that different aspects of your personality shine through different parts of the story. I especially admire the creative apple analogy and its subtle description of you as a person ("rainbow colored bird":)). Overall, great piece with an amazing message!
ReplyDeleteThis story was absolutely beautiful! It was creative, and unique, and just UGH! I absolutely loved it. The details that you used really helped to allow your audience to imagine all of the events. Great Job! -Kylie Carmean
ReplyDeleteReally good use of irony in your piece. I also like how you show the relationship between Richard and his mother without providing much context prior to the encounter we see.
ReplyDelete