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Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Her Moment--Raeanne


Behind the lofty stage curtains, Riley could hear the whispers and cheers of the audience echo throughout the auditorium. The butterflies began to flutter in her stomach and took over her body until it went numb. She could feel her heart beating out of control until, just for a split second, it felt as though it had stopped. In the distance, Riley could make out her teacher informing the stage technicians that she was behind the stage and ready to go. As she endured a few treacherous minutes behind the stage, she began to think about how this was her moment and how she had been waiting all year for this moment where she could finally show her friends and family her progress on pointe. However, her thoughts were cut short when the melody of the music began to fill the auditorium and the lights illuminated the stage. She immediately stepped onto the stage and was welcomed by bright gleaming lights and a thousand eyes set upon her. Nerves suddenly paralyzed her and caused her to fumble the first steps of her choreography. She stood on stage with a blank stare as she looked into the blurred crowd trying to remember what she had practiced every Saturday preceding this day. Panic struck within her until she realized that this was her day to shine and showcase her talents. Instantly all of her panic and nerves washed away and she could feel the sensations in her feet again. She began her choreography and waltzed across the stage. Her tutu and leotard glistened and the many sparkles of her costume danced alongside her. She could see the amazement on the viewers’ faces as she leaped and spun around the stage. She was on top of the world and commanded the stage for the three minutes she was on. As she took her last step on stage, she could hear the music fading into the air and the pure enthusiasm of the crowd as they cheered violently. She could see the lights dimming into darkness when she walked off stage. Relieved that she finished in one piece, she pranced backstage and was welcomed by the cheers of her dance team. She embraced her teammates, one by one, and walked to the dressing room to pick up all of her costumes and props. She was surprised to see her family behind stage awaiting her with a huge bouquet of vibrant flowers. They embraced her and congratulated her on her good work and elegance. At this point, Riley knew her hard work every Saturday at dance paid off and she was finally able to showcase her ability to do pointe in front of the people she cared about most. She knew this was not the end of her journey, and that she was only going to get better.

16 comments:

  1. The descriptive diction allows me to feel the nervous emotions as if i'm the person who is about to go out on stage and perform. I would encourage Riley to continue to follow her dreams and that the emotions she experience before performing will start to decrease.

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  2. This story is very cute and relatable. Even though I'm not a dancer (I only did ballet for about 4 months when I was 5), I can relate to this in the sport I did play. I liked reading as the main character quickly overcame her nerves and preformed well. Good job!

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  3. The way the butterflies and beating heart were described at the beginning was very well written. It was easy to picture the entire scene and it almost felt like I was watching a movie in my head, great job!

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  4. Bravo! Good use of imagery and diction. And well done pacing. Nice short story.

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  5. This is a piece that without saying it directly, captures an emerging artist's drive and passion for the art. I love short reads like this due to the word count not being much, but them having such significant meaning.

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  6. I really enjoyed your piece. I thought you used good descriptive words and imagery to paint the picture you were trying to portray in your work.

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  7. Raeanne, I really enjoyed reading this piece :) I love the vivid details you used to describe all emotions present because it really made the story come to life. Great job!! - Mackenzie M.

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  8. I enjoyed this piece, The writing was very good. You were able to paint a picture in the readers mind through the use of vivid imagery, the reader can picture the scenes unfold, which show how well written this story was. Good job>
    -Jacob Smith

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  9. This is a very motivational piece! You captured the essence of stagefright perfectly; the mix of excitement and dread before the big moment. Great job!

    -Megan Woodall

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  10. you really feel like you are there with the characters, great detail. good job !

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  11. I really like The thought and detail that went into describing Riley's feelings while on stage, and they really are a perfect representation of what goes through a performer's mind. Great job!

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  12. Really nice narrative Raeanne! I really liked how you showed the feelings of a performer before, during, and after performing on stage with some very nice imagery that helped him visualize the scene you created. Interesting piece

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  13. Your use of imagery was outstanding! I felt as if I was actually there during Riley's performance. Great work! - Jazmine Hernandez period 2

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  14. I love how relatable the piece is and I really enjoy the innocence and lightheartedness of the whole thing. Great job!
    -Brooke Vanassa

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  15. I love the use of imagery you incorporated in the story, it was well written and created a picture in my head of the dancer, the crowd, and the stage. It made me feel a part of the story. Great job!
    -Victoria Ervin

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  16. this piece really speaks to me, it showcases the hardships and the hard work that is put into a show whether its a play or a dance show. it displayed so many beautiful emotions.\
    Nathalie Boutros

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