After two months at sea, the view of land becomes the most
satisfying thing the eyes can see. The island, covered by a massive jungle,
suggests this is the island they have been searching for. As the crew boards
the beach, they grow even more excited as they discover tiny hoof prints all
along the beach. The crew sets up camp as they anticipate tomorrow’s journey being
a big day not only for man, but for mankind. The tents are assembled and the
lights are out within the hour.
It is morning and the crew is up and
ready to venture throughout the island in search for their long awaited
treasure. With high anticipation and overflowing excitement, the crew slowly
enters the tree-line. The sky becomes instantly clouded as the massive leaves
upon the trees block out the sun almost entirely. The humidity is so intense
that the crew stops numerous times to constantly replenish their water supply
at nearby rivers. One by one they take turns swinging their knives through the
thick brush that surrounds them. A chuckle goes through the crew as they didn’t
anticipate the journey being this rigorous or the terrain being so complicated.
A member of the crew suggests they turn back and take on another route through
the jungle but the captain of the ship insists they are not too far according
to his map. With the smell of treasure not far away the crew keeps on. After a
day of walking their journey comes to a halt as night falls and the crew must
stop to set up camp. The terrain has grown more convenient as now the land has
changed from a humid jungle to a heat stricken dessert with mountains upon
mountains of sand.
The crew awakes to find the same
hoof prints they discovered at the beach surrounding their camp. Since the
terrain is sand, the crew sees a trail of hoof prints leading away from their
tents towards a mountain in the distance. Frustrated that they were only feet
away from their goal, the crew rapidly assembles their gear and vigorously follows
the trail of hoofs. Arriving at the mountain they notice a high ridge that
leads to an opening in the mountain. “Before we go up, check this out.” A
member of the crew notices a corpse at the bottom of the mountain with a
crushed skull. This puzzles the crew as they don’t believe their treasure could
have committed such a harsh action. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, the
captain spots a giant bird that is flying back and forth around the top of the
mountain. Without hesitating the captain declares that the dead corpse is a
result of the giant vulture. The captain suggests the crew proceed up the back
of the mountain to avoid being seen from the bird.
After almost a day and half of
evading the vulture, the crew reaches the top of the mountain and comes upon a
straightaway leading to a wall of leaves. According to the captain’s map, the
wall of leaves serves as the “X’ that leads to where the treasure is held.
Filled with excitement the crew sprints towards the wall of leaves only to come
to a screeching halt when they notice they are surrounded by giant eggs. Only
feet away from their treasure, the vulture swarms down and lays in the nest of
eggs. The crew scared for their lives runs behind the eggs as they are tall
enough to hide them from the sight of the vulture. One by one the crew makes
for the leaves until the captain is the last one to leave. With the rest of the
crew hiding behind the leaves, the captain sprints to join them. Running as
fast and as quietly as he can, the captain trips over one of the branches of
the nest and falls hard impaling his leg with a knife in the side of his pack.
With the knife more than six inches into his leg the captain lets out a loud
scream of intense pain. The vulture seeing the captain, leaves the nest and in
a swift motion picks up the captain with its massive talons and flies off.
The crew, devastated by seeing their
captain flying away to his death, vow to keep on with their mission to find the
treasure. “He would’ve wanted us to keep going” says one of the crew members.
Only moments away from their long awaited discovery the crew regroups with
their emotions and continues through the wall of leaves. Seeing light shining
through the vines, a great smile comes over the crew as the can hear flowing
water and the clicking of small hooves along the rocks. Peeking through the
vines and opening up to a great valley of green land and numerous waterfalls,
the crew jumps in excitement in realization that they have found their
treasure. All around the valley in herds of millions are enormous herds of
goats. Small goats, tall goats, slim goats and fat goats. Each goat living in
its own peaceful part of the valley, untouched by any external force. “Is this
heaven?” shouts one of the crew members. With goats as far as the eye can see,
the crew decides to stay in the valley instead of venture to the outside world
to preserve the heavenly valley of goats from any human harm. As the crew walks
down the valley, they stop, turn to each other and shout, “In memory of the
Captain”.
I love this. Goats, so many goats, absolutely marvelous! I love this story so much! And when the captain falls on his own knife! My goodness, that's brilliant! I always think about that when I watch movies and see characters with their knives or swords just in their belt without a real sheathe, like don't they cut themselves every step they take?! The realism of that moment was a breath of fresh air, and it was so fantastic that goats were part of the treasure. To die for haha!! What an adventure haha! Amazing job!
ReplyDelete"In memory of the Captain"
ReplyDeleteThat gave me a good chuckle.
I think this piece wins for plot twist of the year. The opening especially was super descriptive, and did a great job of setting the scene and the tone. I applaud you for writing so much, and having so many events happen, in such a short prose. I found myself reading faster and faster to see what would happen. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWow! I felt as if I was reading an actual novel, your imagery really puts me in the situation and you did it really well, good job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece, to me, feels like a possible scene to a future Pirates of the Caribbean movie that made it to the final but had to be dramatically reedited into a more comical moment, but in a good way. -Brian Rojas
ReplyDeleteI am so, so glad the plot twist wasn't cheesy. What a wonderful story- it had a build, an swift climaz, and the best resolution I have ever read. Amazing.
ReplyDelete