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Wednesday, April 6, 2016

In memory of the Captain--Ethan



After two months at sea, the view of land becomes the most satisfying thing the eyes can see. The island, covered by a massive jungle, suggests this is the island they have been searching for. As the crew boards the beach, they grow even more excited as they discover tiny hoof prints all along the beach. The crew sets up camp as they anticipate tomorrow’s journey being a big day not only for man, but for mankind. The tents are assembled and the lights are out within the hour.
            It is morning and the crew is up and ready to venture throughout the island in search for their long awaited treasure. With high anticipation and overflowing excitement, the crew slowly enters the tree-line. The sky becomes instantly clouded as the massive leaves upon the trees block out the sun almost entirely. The humidity is so intense that the crew stops numerous times to constantly replenish their water supply at nearby rivers. One by one they take turns swinging their knives through the thick brush that surrounds them. A chuckle goes through the crew as they didn’t anticipate the journey being this rigorous or the terrain being so complicated. A member of the crew suggests they turn back and take on another route through the jungle but the captain of the ship insists they are not too far according to his map. With the smell of treasure not far away the crew keeps on. After a day of walking their journey comes to a halt as night falls and the crew must stop to set up camp. The terrain has grown more convenient as now the land has changed from a humid jungle to a heat stricken dessert with mountains upon mountains of sand.
            The crew awakes to find the same hoof prints they discovered at the beach surrounding their camp. Since the terrain is sand, the crew sees a trail of hoof prints leading away from their tents towards a mountain in the distance. Frustrated that they were only feet away from their goal, the crew rapidly assembles their gear and vigorously follows the trail of hoofs. Arriving at the mountain they notice a high ridge that leads to an opening in the mountain. “Before we go up, check this out.” A member of the crew notices a corpse at the bottom of the mountain with a crushed skull. This puzzles the crew as they don’t believe their treasure could have committed such a harsh action. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, the captain spots a giant bird that is flying back and forth around the top of the mountain. Without hesitating the captain declares that the dead corpse is a result of the giant vulture. The captain suggests the crew proceed up the back of the mountain to avoid being seen from the bird.
            After almost a day and half of evading the vulture, the crew reaches the top of the mountain and comes upon a straightaway leading to a wall of leaves. According to the captain’s map, the wall of leaves serves as the “X’ that leads to where the treasure is held. Filled with excitement the crew sprints towards the wall of leaves only to come to a screeching halt when they notice they are surrounded by giant eggs. Only feet away from their treasure, the vulture swarms down and lays in the nest of eggs. The crew scared for their lives runs behind the eggs as they are tall enough to hide them from the sight of the vulture. One by one the crew makes for the leaves until the captain is the last one to leave. With the rest of the crew hiding behind the leaves, the captain sprints to join them. Running as fast and as quietly as he can, the captain trips over one of the branches of the nest and falls hard impaling his leg with a knife in the side of his pack. With the knife more than six inches into his leg the captain lets out a loud scream of intense pain. The vulture seeing the captain, leaves the nest and in a swift motion picks up the captain with its massive talons and flies off.
            The crew, devastated by seeing their captain flying away to his death, vow to keep on with their mission to find the treasure. “He would’ve wanted us to keep going” says one of the crew members. Only moments away from their long awaited discovery the crew regroups with their emotions and continues through the wall of leaves. Seeing light shining through the vines, a great smile comes over the crew as the can hear flowing water and the clicking of small hooves along the rocks. Peeking through the vines and opening up to a great valley of green land and numerous waterfalls, the crew jumps in excitement in realization that they have found their treasure. All around the valley in herds of millions are enormous herds of goats. Small goats, tall goats, slim goats and fat goats. Each goat living in its own peaceful part of the valley, untouched by any external force. “Is this heaven?” shouts one of the crew members. With goats as far as the eye can see, the crew decides to stay in the valley instead of venture to the outside world to preserve the heavenly valley of goats from any human harm. As the crew walks down the valley, they stop, turn to each other and shout, “In memory of the Captain”.

6 comments:

  1. I love this. Goats, so many goats, absolutely marvelous! I love this story so much! And when the captain falls on his own knife! My goodness, that's brilliant! I always think about that when I watch movies and see characters with their knives or swords just in their belt without a real sheathe, like don't they cut themselves every step they take?! The realism of that moment was a breath of fresh air, and it was so fantastic that goats were part of the treasure. To die for haha!! What an adventure haha! Amazing job!

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  2. "In memory of the Captain"

    That gave me a good chuckle.

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  3. I think this piece wins for plot twist of the year. The opening especially was super descriptive, and did a great job of setting the scene and the tone. I applaud you for writing so much, and having so many events happen, in such a short prose. I found myself reading faster and faster to see what would happen. Good job!

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  4. Wow! I felt as if I was reading an actual novel, your imagery really puts me in the situation and you did it really well, good job!

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  5. This piece, to me, feels like a possible scene to a future Pirates of the Caribbean movie that made it to the final but had to be dramatically reedited into a more comical moment, but in a good way. -Brian Rojas

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  6. I am so, so glad the plot twist wasn't cheesy. What a wonderful story- it had a build, an swift climaz, and the best resolution I have ever read. Amazing.

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