Beautiful People--August

One of my favorite things to do while in a car (besides reading) is to look out the window. Even if I'm just going home from school, a route I have taken 700 days and will only take for 50 more (yay!!!!!), I love watching the world and other cars go by. I love imaging the stories of the other passengers. I love seeing the city lights at night and imaging people at home going about their daily (or I guess technically nightly) business. Creating the stories of the people in the neighborhood next to ours, the sad, the tragic, and the beautiful stories.

My favorite “routes” of any one that I have ever taken is the freeway, any freeway honestly, though long night trips are the most inspiring. Sorry I digress, anyhow, oh my lanta, the freeway makes me cry sometimes. All those people going somewhere. Places I will never know about and the fact that I will never know if the people are excited, sad, nervous or apathetic about going to these locations. This year especially I have looked at the people on the freeway and I become overwhelmed with this intense sadness and this overwhelming hope. Here’s why.

~ A) There are so many people in the world and to know that we only get to meet a handful of them is discouraging and disappointing. I know that not everyone “likes people” but personally I love the human race. I love how we interact with people and how we can shape each other’s’ lives in both positive and negative ways. Realizing that we can only meet and learn from a limited number of people in world and that we are missing out on so many other opportunities to grow and become better selves is disheartening.

~B) Knowing that there are so many people in the world who are lonely and also knowing that there are so many, many, many people out in the universe to make them not lonely. I know for myself I look at all the lights for so many miles and I feel lonely knowing that I haven’t found my person yet; that person, whether it be a best friend or significant other, who gets you more than you get yourself. So I look away because I have to wipe tears from my eyes and then I look back and I see all the lights the go on for so many miles and I am filled with joy knowing that my person and a person for everyone is out there, just not all of us have meet them yet.

~ C) The last reason relates to this quote I saw in a book hook I just finished. The quote is from a book titled Making Pretty by Corey Ann Haydu and goes "I'm great. I'm okay. I'm a little lost". I love this line because I think it is applicable to everyone at least once in their lives, and how we can feel on top of the world one month, ready to leave the world the next, and then two months later we know that we will be okay but are still not quite sure how to “do” life. On the freeway I get to see the cars going by so fast and I always assume that the passengers know where they are going but maybe they don’t. I mean does anyone really know exactly where they are going at any point of their life? It’s nice to know that even in the dark times of our lives we are not alone because someone else is going through the same thing that we are currently going through, and/or someone else has just been through what we have been through and they are doing okay.

When I think of the quote and I think of the freeway and I think of all the people I just feel so lost because I don't know what I want out of life except that I want to meet all of these people and know all their stories but....that's impossible. One of the wonderful facts of like though, is that sometimes there is beauty in sadness (if you do not understand this read Brave New World and it will make sense). This grief that fills me is that kind of sadness because it is such a strong emotion and it inspires me to live every day to the fullest. So I know this was somewhat random, not very positive, and that not everyone will agree with it but I hope this post makes you cry but in that Beautiful way that make you want to live more and to appreciate the people around you.