Sarrah

How to: Follow the unwritten rules

Oh yes, there are invisible rules, enforced by courtesy and judgment shaping our everyday actions, possessing power though they be not written down. Allow me to elucidate.

1.       Absorb stupidity in silence.

2.       Wear what is hot and happening.

3.       Speak only when what you have to say is socially acceptable.

4.       Lie.

5.       Cheat.

6.       Steal.

7.       Bully.

8.       Hate.

9.       Be who others want to see.

10.   And last but not least, eat your veggies!

Above are the 10 most commonly followed rules which I needed to write down just in case others had utterly no idea what in the great wide world I am attempting to direct us all on. Now for the how to aspect of the assignment, I will elaborate on each rule and give a scenario of sorts just in case you, the reader attempt to refute my claim.

1.       Ever been in one of those situations where you are utterly blown away by what another is saying. Not due to the, uh how should I say, insight provided but by the utter stupidity reiterated again and again believing the repetition will pound their opinion into our head, shove their beliefs down our throats so we can join them in what is right. How to respond? Bite that tongue friends! Bite that buddy ‘til it bleeds if you have to, but never, ever refute for that may create an altercation which must be avoided at all costs. I know, I know. “But what of my opinion Sarrah?” Please refer to rule number three.

2.       Ever notice how suddenly, everyone is wearing the same thing? High waisted why I saw on those on Jessica, no Rebecca, no Jonathan, oh wait. Everyone. Cool shirt. I think I saw that…on me? Oh yeah, that’s happened. Don’t blame yourself. We don’t mean to follow these rules.

3.       Ever held an opinion of your own? You’re entitled it to it, so I’ve heard, but please. Don’t share. But what do I say when asked? Oh look, the answer resides in rule four.

4.       Lie. “I would never!” Are you sure? You never told a younger sibling that Santa was real? You never told someone their hair was nice when in reality it looked like your dog coughed it up? No one has ever lied in saying, everything will be okay?

5.       “Hey Billy, buddy, what’s number five?” Crack open your eyes, or open your fingers just a little bit to see that piñata, move your pawn forward some, take a little extra money from that monopoly bank, eat that meat you swore off, take one more drink.

6.       Ever loved someone’s ideas or words so much that you stole them? Never give that pencil back? Don’t worry, you didn’t mean it. Warlords, stealing people’s safety and terrorist stealing our peace of mind. Fate stealing our loved ones. They weren’t ours in the first place.

7.       How else do you expect to get what you want? What you deserve? To feel good about yourself?

8.       Look at how he acts, he thinks he is the s h I t. Do you hate that? But that is such a strong word! Obviously not when people use it every day to express their golden thoughts about someone that has never done anything to them. Only logical!

9.       Ever sat alone at lunch. Doesn’t that suck? Conform dumbo, hang out with that cool crowd. You’re the only one to blame.

10.   This one is a given. You can’t grow without them.