The Girl
Living
in the small town of Riverfalls,
Massachusetts, it's not often
when you see any newcomers. I noticed her in my sixth period class and she
looked familiar like I have seen her before. She had long brown hair and bright
blue eyes and a birthmark on her neck. After class I told her my name is Jacob and
offered to show her around town. Her name is Emily. We walked into town
together and she told me she was from a small town in Maine called Moorswood. I had a great time
talking to her; she was so nice and friendly. Everyplace I showed her in town
she would tell me how much it was like Moorswood. I guess she really missed
home. She told me she would really like me to visit this lighthouse in her
hometown. She was so persistent about it and told me that something is buried
there and if I didn't do something no one would ever know. Know what? I started
thinking she was some crazy weirdo and told her I had to go home. I was turning
around when she grabbed my arm. I looked at her and tried to shake my arm loose
and she just pleaded and made me promise to tell someone about the lighthouse.
I was just thinking how crazy she was and just told her that I will so she
would let me go. She let go and I made my way home. I walked through the door
and saw my dad on his recliner watching the news. He asked me where I went and
told him that I showed this new girl around but that she was kind of a weirdo.
He just chuckled. I plopped on the couch and started watching the news with him
when a story came on about a missing girl in Moorswood, Maine
who disappeared 10 years ago, her name was Emily Dower. It was her, the Emily I
met, same hair, same eyes, and same birthmark. I thought I was going crazy. How
could that be possible? Was she a ghost or something? I started remembering
what she was telling me about finding something buried near the lighthouse and
if I didn't say anything no one would find it. Was it her? My mind was all over
the place. Was she killed and buried there? The news left a number for the
Moorswood police if anyone had any information. I called saying to check the
grounds around the lighthouse and hung up before they could ask for my name. A
few days later it was all over the news that they found the remains to Emily
Dower, a girl who had been missing for 10 years. The whole experience was crazy
and I tried to forget it, then one day I saw her in a dream and all she said
was thank you.
OMG!!!! Like....that was soooooo amazing!! I absolutely loved it and it was such an amazing story. That last line was amazing, very beautifully written. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat piece Karina. Dark and mysterious but very well written. Ohh and whats on the video? DOes it relate to the story? Well anywhoo you did a great job of describing the charachters and building up the suspense. GOod work!:)
ReplyDeleteOH SNAP! Dang, she was a ghost? He was just cray? That sucks though, I wish she were real. lol I would be terrified if I were him! shoot. This was awesome though!
ReplyDeleteOoooooo this gave me the chills ! I loved it ! Everything about it was great, your writing style to your setting to the characters were spot on amazing. Made me forget I was reading a blog! Awesome Job
ReplyDeleteAWW so cute how she returned to give gratitude.. So sad though that she died, but still great that even after all that time she was found. Just curious, was there a reason she chose him? So far from her home, maybe because the two places were so alike?
ReplyDeleteHoly poop. This was so fast. I was flying through the actions and thoughts and then it was over and i was like woah. I dunno. Wonderful story, i love fictions which explore this idea and i really appreciated the detail in this. Is there a reason all of the locations begin with an M, or is it purely coincidental? Thank you for sharing:)
ReplyDeletewow this was so great Karina. very dark and mysterious, amazing job! i always liked sad/dark stories more than happy ones anyway :)
ReplyDeleteThis story was suspenseful the the dark and gloomy tone is great I like stories like that
ReplyDeleteThis story is so good! The last sentence tied up the whole story so perfectly. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWoah! Wonderful Job! Really like these kinds of mysterious yet interesting stories! Although the kid was kinda traumatized by it, I felt that was a really great ending to a story like this!
ReplyDeleteyoooo this story gave me the chills lol in a good way though! like Sarrah I was flying through it and when I get to the end it was like "aaahhhhhh" aha awesome job!(:
ReplyDeleteYessssssss! Oh gosh this could be a topic for a novel! I loved the scene choices. Perfect job! :)
ReplyDeleteThis story is so cute. I really loved the ending because it's actually a happy one even though the girl had died. She can finally rest in peace and I think that her simple appearance in the dream was the perfect ending; creative too. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteAhhhh~ as soon as you wrote that the dad was watching the news, I could already tell what happened and started to read faster to see if I was right. You did a great job writing this piece!
ReplyDeleteFantastic job! My favorite was the last line..it just concluded the story very well:)
ReplyDeleteI got the chills reading this you did a really good job though, I didn't expect for that to happen
ReplyDeletei thought this story was intriguing, it caught my attention i only wished that there was more detail and more of a story line to this... over all it kind of reminded me of twilight for some odd reason.. hmm hah
ReplyDeleteso the emily girl was a ghost or something. overall was very interesting to read with all the mysterious ways and whatnot.
ReplyDeleteWow!!! this is deep and I literally got Goss bumps at the end of reading this. You did an amazing Job.
ReplyDeleteThe ending of the story was great... I was so scared when they said the police found remains I was just like noooo !!! Great, engaging story!
ReplyDeleteOMG PLEASE DON'T STOP WRITING. I noticed that my short stories tend to be the same style as yours, fast paced, with the creepy hint on every step. whyyyyy didd itt stopppppp
ReplyDeleteGURRRL whY DO YOU NOT HAVE MORE VOtes
ReplyDeleteMind blown.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this would make an awesome movie :D Good job, very well written and quite enjoyable to read.
ReplyDeleteWoah, so she was a ghost? dang. loved it and the ending too. great job!
ReplyDeleteCreeeeeeeeeeepyyyy........This story keeps me thinking. Was it a ghost or something? I like how you used stream of consciousness to tell the story through first person perspective. It really kept me on the edge of my seat.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful story! It was really sad, but in a good way! I love how the boy isn't written as a perfect child, but a normal kid who saw her as this weird little girl
ReplyDeleteo a spooky spooky ghost. i like this story. it reminds of when i was a kid and i would read goosebumps stories and it would lead you toward one direction then do a complete 360
ReplyDeleteWow! I don't even know what to say. It is kind of sad, but it is such an interesting story. I definitely enjoyed reading this!
ReplyDeleteWow, your imagination is amazing, I love the ending
ReplyDeleteYou really had me in a blender I had so many mixed emotions as I was reading along that just simply gave the story such a dynamic turn and development that was interesting and amazing of your piece. I have to say that I wish you could hopefully tell us about the other girls past furthermore.
ReplyDelete