Trevor

How to “Woo” a Woman

I have lots of experience with women.  One gave birth to me, another is my sister and I have studied enough women here and there to compile a list of 5 sure proof ways to “woo” a women.

1.     Look for various signs and actions that tell you if a woman likes you or is interested in you.

Ex: It’s a general rule of thumb that if a woman brushes a lock of hair out of her face and then slaps her knee twice, she wants to talk to you.  If she sweats a lot, she likes you.

2.     Maintain eye contact.  Even when you blink.

Ex: Challenge her to a staring contest.  Stare the woman you want to “woo” in the face until she starts to awkwardly move away.  Women enjoy it when other people stare at them.  Why else would they wear so much makeup?

3.     Women love it when you try to solve their problems.

Ex: The next time a girl, whether it be your girlfriend or your sister, is unloading their hormonal personal problems onto you and expects you to listen, what they really want is for you to stop listening and to solve whatever is wrong.  Trust me; they’ll thank you for it.

4.     Pickup lines are your best friends.

Ex: “If you were a booger, I would pick you first!” –personal favorite… I wooed Taylor Swift with this one. Then we broke up.

5.     Women love it when you flex your muscles and use every excuse you can to show them your manliness. 

Ex: Sometimes the best outfit to where at school, work, amusement park, museum, etc. is a Speedo.  It properly displays all of the muscles the ladies want to see.  I haven’t personally tried this but it’s supposed to work…in theory.

*Note: I’m not serious, or trying to make you laugh, but these are things that literally flow through my mind on a daily basis.  Just thought I would give you some valuable advice on such an important matter.