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Sunday, April 30, 2023

Imagine us in Heaven--Dalila

Day 15 

Azazel:

 I have not been here long. There is no time where I reside, but I know I have been here fewer than the rest. The prisoners here are all mad with rage or sadness, violent and aggressive or conniving. I am none of those. I do not belong here. My sanity will go with time and my malice will grow as it leaves. I can feel it in my bones, but I will do what I can to keep it. I have been abandoned by Father. I feel he is close but he will not reveal himself. I search the skies when I can but I never see him. Sometimes I peek at the world above mine. I have never felt a greater peace than when I look up, between the cracks of my world, to the forbidden land. 

Day 33

 I saw him once between the ruptures in our world. He was striking; the brightest star in Heaven could not compare to the shine in his smile. His eyes were deeper than the voids that filled my world, a color that could not be fully grasped by my lowly eyes. No one in the Netherworld could see what I could. If I still had a soul, I would surrender it in a beat, if he would be the one to lead me to my fate. I wish to talk to him but the borders of my world hold me down, imprisoned for eternity. Elements of Heaven and Hell cannot touch. One of us will die if we touch they tell me. Only Helel knows what would happen. He says we are like lithium and they are water, if we were to touch, only one of us would survive and the other would be displaced. 

He lives in a realm where his sky is always golden, and the air is filled with the scent of magnolias and vanilla. Our worlds are divided into two halves; one is the abode of the higher beings, the messengers of God, and paragons of virtue. The other was where I resided, eternal torment, despair, and anguish consume every fiber of our being in a never-ending cycle of suffering and regret. The skies collapse upon us time and time again, although we have no sky, it is only rock. Our world is lit by the roaring fires from below. We are here to pay for our sins. 

I don’t remember what I did to get here, none of us do. I assume it is different where he resides. They may be reminded of their divine actions and heavenly spirits, while we are grounded to embers from pits of despair. I often wonder why they do not help us. Do they pity us? I wish they did. My teeth pound down on themselves at the thought. 

These days I keep my eyes on the skies, awaiting the few seconds before my “sky” folds in on itself. When I can see him, bouncing from cloud to tree, with his pinions glittering silver-red in the gay sunlight. One day I will find out his name and call to him, my six-winged siren in the Heavens.

 Day 77

Samael: 

I see him every day, his eyes pierce my skin with his gaze. I can’t stand to look at him in his profane form, with horns like jagged rocks and a stout beard. He remembers nothing of his actions, of his iniquitous betrayal of our Father. I am forbidden by higher laws to speak with prisoners of the underworld as they are no longer of us. Azazel was treacherous and must endure his punishment, but I cannot help but bleed for him. I will not deceive our Father and contact Azazel, but I may leave him a sign. Surely that will not be sinful. 

Day 89 

Azazel: 

My archangel committed an injustice against his kind today, he left me a message. He did this for me, a lowly demon! Today my angel flew with a goat through the skies. Oh, what mystique he displays, a goat of all animals? How did he know that I would understand? I feel that we know each other, and there is a reason he caught my eye. Were we brothers in a past life? Friends? Lovers? It vexes me that I do not know what he knows. Will he still love me after I do what Helel instructs me to? Did he ever love me? 

I informed Helel of our stolen glances, and he says that I must meet him soon. Every muscle in this cursed body twitches with jubilation at the idea of meeting my seraph. My blood boils with joy and curiosity at the thought of what might happen if we were near each other. He may fulminate in my presence, or I, in his. It excites me and plagues my every waking thought. I will meet him soon. Helel says I must request something that he cannot refuse. What can I offer? I have nothing that he would dream of. I cannot offer him riches. I cannot offer him love. I can only hope that he will bend to my will. I will promise him something a holy being like him can not refuse. I will offer him a confession.

 Day 111 

Samael: 

We have been indirectly communicating for some time now. I leave him a sign, and he returns it with facial expressions. I may not be able to speak with him, but I am allowed to look. He has requested to meet with him. We have agreed, he will speak and I will listen, for the only rule was that I not speak to him. I miss him greatly, I must admit. His presence was dear to me when we were together. We were divine in every way. Sometimes I think (and do not fault me for doing so) that his being there is my fault. Azazel was a kind angel, he only wanted to share his gift of knowledge with the lowly beings of Earth. He was too compassionate, that was his fault. Humans were greedy for knowledge, and that was Helels fault. So, my taking him to Earth to guide humans was foolish. I am no one to question Father, but I do not think Azazel deserves to be there despite his sins. He was an archangel once, how could he fall so hard?. If only his emotions did not get in his way, we would have ruled together for eternity. 

 Day 117 

Azazel: 

I will see him today. My beautiful archangel, there is no being as pious as he. We will meet at the borders of our worlds. I await his presence. 

He is here and so am I. He is a vision of divinity up close. The picture of sanctity, at a beastly 100 feet tall (possibly more). He will open up the seal, just small enough so that he may hear me, but not so much that I may slip through. I have been speaking with Helel and he has given me greatly important information. More importantly, my sterling angel and I will never be separated again. 

Samael: 

In all the time I’ve been watching him from above, I had not seen him beam with the vigor that he currently displays. He speaks to me through the crack, telling of his damnation but, suddenly, he stops. I thought that he had hushed his tone, so I leaned in to hear him better. I could hear nothing, so I pressed my ear against the crack and then I felt it. He touched my ear. And then I felt no more. How could he do this? 

Azazel: 

 The most ravishing sight was displayed before me. His face was drained of color, and his celestial body contorted and twitched and cracked. A few seconds passed and his eyes no longer had the sparkle of life. Dull was his skin, his eyes, his wings, he had been displaced! He sinned, oh the great angel, fallen. Helel will be so pleased with me! I wish I would have known his name so I could thank him for his naivety and beg for forgiveness. If not for him, I could never be reborn, set free from this place of confinement. He has given me the heavens, bestowed them upon my lap. I once again touched his ear and felt myself melt away. The feeling was so warm, warmth, unlike the scorching fires at my feet. He will be reborn soon, as one of us. We have come so far. Two ethereal beings joined together in the land of eternal punishment. 

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