The Fixation of the Male Gaze--Jaylen

 When I was 10 years old, my favorite outfit was a floral skirt, with a colorful top, and Nike shoes to match. My mom would say “sit right,” and I would immediately turn, to have my hands and knees face her. When I was 14 years old, I would come downstairs and she would protest to the whole room about “putting more clothes on” because I was showing too much. When I was a fully-developed teen, I began to find myself finding ways of expression through clothing. Some ways of expression showed “too much skin” and sometimes I “didn’t show enough” to affirm my femininity. I got lost in who I was, constantly living for the opinions of others. To always avoid the animalistic gaze, every move I made. The gaze that would later haunt my forms of expression. The gaze I would piece my outfits around. It brought coldness to my spine and a knot in my stomach. An unhealthy view of myself started to self-create, not wanted, nor accepted. I started to become the manifestation of what a man wanted. Spreading like a disease, it touched my beliefs, morals, and will. Never really obtaining my true identity in my individuality.

“Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.”-Margaret Atwood 

The male gaze invokes a sexualized way of viewing that empowers men and objectifies women, an object of hetersexual male desire. The desire subjugates women to lead lives through the appeal for men. The appeal for men is standardized through beauty. A woman who fits the narrative is known to uphold “perfection” in the eyes of the gazer. It aids in maintaining the patricharical structure that enhances the male experience, at the expense of a woman. The objectification of women and girls impact their mental health through body image and oversexualizing themselves. Awareness in the male gaze allows you to see yourself, without relegating yourself to the supporting role. To begin breaking down the structure, inspiration through women who live against such obligations, are role models of womanhood. It stripes the weight of constantly being seen or fitting into the “feminine” role. Once you’ve disengaged from the male gaze, you begin to reform your inner being and create an individuality that's original. As a collective, experiencing the male gaze we can either tolerate it or reinvent its power to define you.