May we meet again--Ari

October 12, 2012. Cold. Anxious. My eyes fixate on white walls and white floors. The strong aroma of sterilizing cleaning products and alcohol suffocates my senses. Those around me appear like silhouettes reeking of loss and despair. Doctors and Nurses run in and out of rooms to aide the endless list of those in need. The sound of rhythmic beeping fills my ears and increases my fears. As I walked into the ICU room, twenty two, the reality of my worst nightmares appeared before my eyes. There you ly, relying on wires to keep you alive. The beeping gets louder as I find myself at your bedside. Your face, drained of color, your body, lifeless. You endured so much that night that the 9 hour brain surgery sent you right into a comatose state. The view of you sent my brain to recollect on all of our memories from the countless family vacations to the game nights on every holiday. I remember the summer days we spent swimming, playing tag, the scavenger hunts you made for all of our christmas gifts.I remember how every birthday you would make a carrot cake because it was your form of showing us that you loved us.I remember your lego city and how hard your worked on it and yet when we accidently broke it you never got mad, you simply cleaned up and rebuilt. You taught me so many things like how to not be afraid of doing things even if you fail at first. I took these for granted, thinking that the good times will never end. As my mind processes this new reality, Life support kept your body alive but the doctors said that if you made it through you would not remember your family, how to talk, how to walk, or even your name. On that day, we crafted hope and strength from hospital beds. Hoping that you would pull through and that everything will be copacetic. Yet again the beeping continued, it brought me peace knowing that you were still there. However, my young mind could not comprehend or simply even try to understand that the hope and strength we created would not change the outcome. I knew you had more fight left in you but at this time we had to pull the plug and my hope was faltering, scared of the possible outcomes and terrified because i could not control the variables.The doctors took you off life support. The beeping continued. Rhythmically one after one it continued as tears of joy pricked at the corners of my eyes,but before i got the chance to take a sigh of relief, my whole world came crashing down. The beeping stopped and instead was replaced by a high pitch tone that seemed never ending. You flatlined. You were gone and there was no amount of tears, screaming, or pleading that could bring you back. I took you for granted, my naive mind thought that you would be there forever. However life is not eternal, its fragile and short. Losing you taught me that love is stronger than pain. Losing you taught me that love is forever but most importantly your absence taught me to have a greater appreciation for those I love. I was taught to express that love before it's too late because tomorrow is never guaranteed and you will never know when your time is up.
To my sweet nephew, I love you and one day I hope that we get the chance to meet again.