Pages


Tuesday, September 4, 2018

How to--Forgive--Sofia

Life - known for all of its tests and trials. Throughout all of our lives, we experience so many different things, but no matter how different each of our lives may be, we all meet new people. Each and every person you meet has been put in your life for a reason, even if your conversation with that person only lasted for a quick minute. We learn and experience so many different emotions when speaking to others, even if we do not realize how each person makes us feel. Subconsciously, we remember every single face we have ever seen. Every individual is so differently important to us that sometimes we even dream of them, and every face that we see in a dream is someone that we have seen before, even if we don’t “know” them. The average person meets about 80,000 people in their lifetime. Out of that large number, we have around only six people throughout our lifetime that we can consider “close”. In certain cases, some of us completely stay away from making any close relationships, in fear of being hurt. This hurt, a pain all too familiar, can be caused by anybody - a friend, a significant other, a parent - and for many of us, letting go of this pain may sting more than the initial wound. Sometimes we feel that we may never trust another person again, but we are wrong. Trust comes as a process, and eventually we will learn how to believe in others again. Humans are a species that require love, affection, and human connections. In this step-by-step guide, you will learn how to forgive and trust again, even if the process may be faster or slower for each individual. As someone who feels that they have experienced multiple events of being deceived, both with friends and a long-term significant other, I truly believe that this personal guide will help you heal as it did for me. After truly taking in and understanding that I wanted to finally be happy once again, I took the time to analyze what exactly was taking such a strong toll on my happiness. Once these events had been found, I knew that my journey of forgiveness would begin. The only tools you will need for your journey are to truly want a healthier conscious and a happier lifestyle, as these two choices are both the results of forgiving. To begin, think of a time that someone that you felt you could trust with all of your heart betrayed you. When thinking of this event, understand that forgiving is not the same as forgetting. Secondly, understand that whatever event occured was not your fault. Many of us tend to believe that when something negative occurs it is our fault. For example, your significant other has been unfaithful. Understand that this is not your fault, and if you do
page1image5845168page1image5837888
feel that you are to blame, this is a key sign of low self-esteem and your forgiveness should be targeted towards aiding your confidence in yourself. Next, we often find ourselves angry and vengeful when thinking of the wrongs that have been done to us. Allow these feelings to melt away, grasp that revenge not only takes a toll on you and your health, but on the relationships you have with those who had no place in the event that occured. Constantly carrying anger with you pushes away those who are close to you and it is wrong to take out this anger on someone who does not intend to cause you any harm. Furthermore,​ allow events of the past to stay in the past. If you plan on continuing a relationship with the person who hurt you, you will not benefit the already weak relationship if you constantly use the event of the past as blackmail or as the way to win an argument. Lastly, understand that, “to err is human, to forgive, divine” We all make mistakes, even if some are way bigger than others. Accept that the mistakes of others is human error, and we are all human. By taking meaning in the four steps that have been given to you, you will experience an improved self-esteem, better mental health, and healthier relationships with those who surround you. For some of us, these results will go unnoticed, and we will continue living normal, happy lives. For the rest of us, who have been holding onto our grudge for so long, the weight on our chest will slowly but surely lift. It will become easier to breathe again. Never forget - forgiveness is key.

43 comments:

  1. I really think this is super helpful. People tend to think that not forgiving is healthy and eventually they'll get over the situation they were put in; only to find out later on that they'll never truly forget, and in fact become very bitter. Forgiveness isn't something everyone can pick up easily, nor understand easily, hopefully this helps them.
    -zeke

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your feedback, I really appreciate it and agree with your statement. :)

      Delete
  2. It's great that you were able to analyze the emotional toll that certain experiences can have on us as individuals. I especially enjoyed the fact that you analyze the deeper, long-term effects of holding grudges and how to resolve them. Very helpful and unique!
    -Caden

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback! - Sofia Rosales

      Delete
  3. I enjoy this piece as it hits home. I like how you tell us to confide in ourselves, rather than staying mad at the other person, even if whatever happened wasn't our fault. The funny thing about the phenomenon of forgiveness is that we eventually go on with our lives (whether forgiven or unforgiven) and forget about the ordeal, although it matters ho severe the issue was. Carrying anger is indeed dangerous and happens too often. Overall, I like how this piece provides simplistic solutions, which are obviously easier said than done, but points us in directions to help us refrain from acts of violence and negligence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your feedback Ben, I appreciate it! -Sofia Rosales

      Delete
  4. I really enjoyed this entry. I could relate to your piece a lot. Forgiveness is extremely hard for some people to do and I feel like you addressed it really well and made some really good points about why forgiveness is important.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Ainsley, I appreciate your comment! :)

      Delete
  5. -snaps- Wow, I really enjoyed how your "How To" took a unique approach and involved something that is not tangible per se. Especially to a teenage audience where emotions and feelings still run rampant (myself included), I loved how you took the time to delve into specific situations and demonstrated how forgiveness can alleviate so much pain and consequences that stem from holding on to things. Most noticeably, I appreciated how you described how people should forgive themselves as well, because often times, people blame themselves for a lot of things, even if it's out of their control. I have personally encountered a situation where I blamed myself for sour relations with someone, but I eventually learned to just let it go. Thanks so much for the awesome work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you sister! Whoever this is I feel like you'll understand my sister reference haha. Thank you so much for the constructive feedback! - Sofia Rosales :)

      Delete
  6. I really enjoyed this piece. I liked that you broke down the process of forgiving someone and explained why it is something that you need to do in order to heal. I can relate to your piece a lot. It is better to forgive but never forget what happened. -Belen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad you were able to relate Belen, thank you so much for your feedback! -Sofia Rosales :)

      Delete
  7. This entry is very well thought out and very easy to relate to. Forgiveness is not easy but this piece gives many something to relate to. Your points are exceptional, they ease your points into place all while keeping a calming tone, this helps the reader realize how forgiveness brings peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your feedback! - Sofia Rosales

      Delete
  8. Interesting topic, most how to's are about crafts and such but I like how your how to is how to forgive. It was truly mind opening. I feel like if everyone read this and had this sort of forgive but don't forget mindset, the world would be a better place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Layla, I appreciate your feedback! :) - Sofia Rosales

      Delete
  9. I truly love this piece. It is so incredibly relatable and it allowed me to think and realize certain situations in my life. What you said is in fact true, it is healthy to forgive even if we won't ever forget more so for ourselves because we need to have that peace within ourselves instead of being remorseful, holding grudges, and staying mad. Beautifully said. -Leslie Marquez

    ReplyDelete
  10. I LOVE THIS PIECE SO MUCH!!!!! It brings back a very clear event where someone I thought I could trust and who I did trust, betrayed me. And I couldn't agree more with your statement that "forgiving is not the same as forgetting" because that's how I got over it. I basically accepted the fact that I couldn't change the past, like you said,and forgave that person. However my perception of that person will never be that sweet innocent one again but rather it is now one blurred by that event. Overall, very relatable topic and helpful advice!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I really loved this piece because it gives me a clear mind and emotional grasp within forgiving someone even if the mistakes will dwindle on your happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is a great topic, not a typical How To however this is very real and meaningful. Learning how to move away from the past and not letting what people may have done to you get the best of you. One thing that grabbed my attention was to let the past stay in the past, don't dwell on things that are out of your control. Your entry helped simplify the process of forgiving and healing, Thank You!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Victoria Ervin
    This is a really helpful piece, I really enjoyed reading this because I am somewhat of a stubborn person and I tend to hold on to grudges without even thinking I'm doing so. However, this is a refreshing reminder that I need to be more forgiving and more willing to let go of the past. It's not easy to forgive but everyone including yourself is better off.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I don't usually cry at things, but this almost made me cry. Thank you to whoever wrote this. I have been hurt in my life and I've had friends come to me when they were hurt. This help me help myself and help all of my friend that do come to me for help. I don't know what else to say but Thank you fir writing this.
    -EJ Zuniga

    ReplyDelete
  15. I thought this was an interesting subject to me. I believe it was a message well sent to the general audience. I agree with the idea that forgiveness is not a quick process. It in involves your ego and pride, so if the person doesn't apologize, it at times, can be hard.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I really like how you took the "How To" concept in a different direction as opposed to just doing a simple tutorial. A lot of your points spoke to me and gave me a new perspective on being open minded and forgiving. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well done I enjoyed reading your piece because I also agree with you. I believe forgiveness does change your life for the better as your able to move past certain situations it lifts weights off your shoulders and as a person you are happier knowing you don't have to worry about others. - gaby

    ReplyDelete
  18. I really, really enjoyed at how well thought out this entry was. The topics that you chose to include, like strained relationships with parents and significant others were easy to relate to and able to connect deeper to the piece. Great job!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. This was a great How To. I really liked how you wrote the piece on forgiveness because many seem to hold a terrible grudge, myself included. Forgiveness is an ultimate factor for genuine happiness, which is what many strive for. This piece was very helpful to me, especially with the example you provided, so I hope it'll be just as helpful to others.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Couldn't have put it better myself! Often times, fear and pride deter us from forgiving the people in our lives, which ultimately inflicts more pain on ourselves than anyone else. You chose a great topic to cover and I hope that those reading this will use your tips to help relieve the pain that they may be experiencing in their life.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I really liked this how to because it wasn't your typical tutorial but rather a tutorial that had to do with self reflection. I like how you mention that forgiveness leads to a healthier lifestyle and how you end with "never forget - forgiveness is key", because as human beings its hard for one to forget something that has hurt them but if we learn to forgive someone we can allow ourselves to pursue love rather than hatred which demonstrates that healthier relationship with others and lifestyles.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Very interesting concept, I really liked how you strayed away from the typical "how to" narrative. Your piece was really mind opening and gave a lot of perspective on the art of forgiving. This entry is very well thought out and very easy to relate to. A point that really stood out to me was when you said how people should forgive themselves as well. I thought your words were very creative and thought out, overall, a really great piece that I enjoyed reading!
    -Abrianna

    ReplyDelete
  23. This piece was a real eye opener! I've never thought of forgiving in this way but this has really changed my perspective on things. - Zoe

    ReplyDelete
  24. This was a truly intriguing piece that resonated with me on a personal level as I have struggled with this very issue a multitude of times and with each new reiteration of this very issue I find it increasingly harder to truly move on and begin trusting again. This is an extremely helpful guide that I truly believe can help numerous people suffering from trust issues and/or betrayal and allow these people to move on and begin trusting in others again.
    -Cole

    ReplyDelete
  25. This piece really moved me emotionally. I really enjoyed reading this piece from start to finish. Personally, I tend to dwell on the past sometimes and it gets the best of me. This is one my most favorite pieces because it motivates me to not dwell on an event that happened in the past or a person who did me wrong, they are all justclearning experiences for the future. Keep up the good work!! -Garret Janikowski

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is a very good piece and interesting topic to discuss about. When reading this I felt so engaged and felt as if I were going through this experience with you. I admire how talked about forgiving will always be the key and to not hold the grudge against nobody
    - Roman Santos

    ReplyDelete
  27. I think this topic is very interesting and most definitely appeals to the emotions of your audience. Not only that, but it met all the requirements for this essay: interesting, step-by-step analysis, what the audience will need(in this case it isn't something physical) and results. -Toby

    ReplyDelete
  28. This piece offers valuable insight into the nature of humans and teaches an important lesson about forgiveness. I connected to your piece and agree with many of your statements because it is similar to conclusions I have drawn through experiences of my own. The word choice throughout the essay was simple enough so that the young audience could connect to it easily, and I felt sympathy and other emotions as I was reading this. Great job!!! - J. Wang

    ReplyDelete
  29. I think this is a really great topic to cover since it's a hard concept for a lot of people to grasp. Mental health is super important for everyone, especially at our age, and I loved how thoughtful this piece was and the overall positivity :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. This is a very deep topic to talk about, the fact that all your audience can relate is so cool, this is something that can impact you audience, the step by step analysis was super interesting to go over. I loved this piece so very much, Great job. -Deztiny Alas

    ReplyDelete
  31. This piece made me take a second look at the methods I have used in the past to help myself find forgiveness, you diction choices made this piece feel very comforting and relate able. Your decision to write a "How-To" on a topic such as forgiveness was a bold one that I'm glad you made! - Sydney Scipio-Smith

    ReplyDelete
  32. This piece was truly moving and relatable. Reading this was definitely an eye- opener. I know that forgiving others isn't always easy but I know that many people, including myself, needed to read this. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  33. In this day and age, I feel that this blog was highly necessary and very valuable. It offers an amazing view of what the ideal response and acceptance of human nature should be. Forgiveness, I learned, is the ultimate way to show love. In order to spread the idea that we, as humans, truly love each other, then we have to be able to forgive. With recent events, and the way society is now, it is almost a taboo to show any kind of remorse or acceptance to someone who has wronged you. However, this blog details that it is just the opposite, as when they are at their lowest, is when they need someone the most. Thank you so much for sharing, this blog was truly amazing! - R. Kennedy

    ReplyDelete
  34. This piece of work offers a valuable lesson on the human plight on forgiveness. I love when you mention that to forgive someone else, you must forgive yourself for your own grievances, but also, to forgive is not to forget. -Gabriel Villanueva

    ReplyDelete
  35. I absolute love this piece! Not only is it real but we all know the average person will struggle with forgiveness sometime with in their life. Thank you for this and I will try to use this and apply this to my life.

    ReplyDelete