Dreamland
As I lay down in my bed, I began to
think about the things that happened during the day. I realized the
repetitiveness of my mundane life has begun to unfold. As I thought of the
constants beeping of an alarm clock and the siren of the school bell, I closed
my eyes for only a second. As I opened my eyes I felt a slight change in
scenery. The darkness that was my room now turned into an open field; I thought
to myself if I had woken from a dream, but I let it slide. I was walking through
the field, not a care in the world. But as I look down at the ground, the once
green grass turned into the chrome floor of a spaceship. I thought again to
myself if this was a dream, but I still haven’t done anything about it. As I
wandered through the ship, barefoot, I found an empty observation room. I
walked towards the oval window with great curiosity; just to see what was on
the other side. The other side of the oval window revealed the vast emptiness
of space. The quietness and serene scenery gave me a sudden chill, as a
shooting star past my eyes. I felt like I was alone in a world I created. As
another star past my eyes, a meteor began to come towards me. The sounds of
alarms and sirens began to fill the spaceship. I tried to do something about
it, but I can’t. It was as if I had become paralyzed and I was watching the
destruction come towards me. I panicked. I felt the walls closing in on me. All
I could do is watch. As the meteor closed in on my position, I closed my eyes
as to not see what will happen. I felt a sudden jolt in my body. The chrome
floor disappeared from under my feet. I was in the field again. I felt my heart
return to its regular beating pattern. I then proceeded to walk through the
field again. As sudden breeze of wind began to flow through the field; the wind
felt nice as it flew through by hair. The wind then started to become more and
more violent. I looked around to see what was making it faster. The field then
fell apart between my feet. Before I ever noticed, I was falling. I tried to
grab a hold on something, but I couldn’t. As I fell I saw the nothingness of
space. I thought to breath, but I was not able to. Every breath I attempted
resulted in frequent gasps and constant panic attacks. As my descent came to a
close, I landed on something soft; I closed my eyes in an attempt to shut out
this world. I opened my eyes a few seconds later to the pleasant sight of my
bedroom. The alarm clock was beeping as usual. As usual, I then started my day.
The last part got me! it was so great how it went from panic to then I start my day! Great Job Andrew I really liked it!
ReplyDeleteThe ending provided a great resolution!
ReplyDeleteWow! I really like your piece because it's something we can all relate to: Repetition of daily life with an underlying urge to live in a fantasy world for a change; at least that's the way I see it. Your piece was also filled with vivid imagery that makes the dream seem almost like real life. Nice Job :)
ReplyDeleteI can SOOOO relate to the whole mundane-ness of life. I catch myself daydreaming about the impossible during classes all the time now. Your vivid details really brought your story to life; I loved how it was full of your sci-fi loving personality. :)
ReplyDeleteWoahhh... this is incredibly written. I liked how you started off your "dream" with an open field.. It definitely shows that we as humans tend to express our freedom through our dreams or even nightmares because that is when our brain tends to realize the things that we want unintentionally or the feeling of wanting something or even the fear of something. The imagery made was absolutely good, it brought up the dream into a reality somehow. Good job!
ReplyDeleteReading this made me daydream off in a good with your different settings great job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story! it was well written! it reminds me of that one movie, shark boy and lava girl haha:p
ReplyDeleteI love the creativity in your writing. The ending especially being applicable to just waking up everyday from random dreams and then continuing life as it is.
ReplyDeleteI like how your dream opened up another dream which took you back to the first dream and then you woke up and there is reality, because honestly that is how dreams and life work which is so crazy. Good Job!
ReplyDeletewow this some wild imaginations ya got but i like that. i feel you when when you in that good dream and ya wake up ;/ this was gr8 man
ReplyDeleteI really liked the imagery and details in this. It is as if I was in your mind literally seeing all of these descriptions from the first sentence to the very end. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you wrote in the dream that the character was unable to do anything with what was happening around him, I always hate when that happens in dreams and you start to panic. Even though when you wake up, you fall back into your same routine, but it's still comforting to know it wasn't real.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like so much about this piece is the inclination to slip in a dream incredibly different from reality. Not only that but the destruction at the end was like the reality check we all have that is so frustrating but an inevitable outcome.
ReplyDeleteI relate to this story because I'm constantly thinking about life zoning out and contemplating on recent events that have occurred then I find myself back into reality GOOD JOB
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you ended it from panic to resolution.
ReplyDeleteI loved the change in scenery for the piece. It was a nice transition from awake to dream, and back to awake. For a moment you almost forget the possibility of it being a dream and can feel the reality of it that the character does
ReplyDelete"As usual" man that last line hit me beause it was almost like he woulld rather have died and experienced that weird and sudden change than go back to his everyday life. Good read man way to work the absurd into this!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you talked about things that happened in your dream that at least I have experienced in my dreams. They never make sense when we think about them while awake but make perfect sense while we're dreaming...weird.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a perfect topic because we can all relate to it. We are ending our four years of constant repetition and the same ringing bell five days a week for what seems like forever. We all have those fantasy dreams of what could be; a new life, a different world, and even a different time and it holds up until the next day we can change our routine. It also reminds me that our dreams are a reflection of reality and what we have been feeling. Maybe it works in this case..?
ReplyDelete"but i let it slide" hahahah why can't we just come upon such adventures? At first it came off as an extended metaphor of a day in the life ya know? Were given a window to look through, vast space-boundless possibilities, a meteor comes and there's nothing we can do-reality, we fall through the floor-a safe way out, a tornado maybe-there is no safe route, for everywhere we go disaster awaits. i was gonna say what a pessimistic view, but then i dont think thats what you were goin for was it? I really dug the story. thank you for sharing:)
ReplyDeleteI like the way you took us on a journey slipping out of consciousness and then back again. I also have come to absolute the beeping of my alarm clock! Summer is almost here Andrew:)
ReplyDeleteWow great piece. All I could think of when I read this was of Lewis Carrolls quote "sometimes I dream 6 impossible things before breakfast" I love the ending of falling and landing back in bed cause that truly is our safe haven away from the chaos of this world. Greeat Job!
ReplyDeletewhoa this is a really good story and I loved the way you ended it, great job.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely loved the ending! it made me laugh in a way because I can completely relate to not only your whole piece but especially the ending!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, I did not expect that ending. I love that you are not scared of the things you see in your dreams
ReplyDeleteWhat a great journey the speaker had! I had a clear image of what the character was going through which added that emotional attachment to it. Also, the character's shift from a boring night to a crazy and unexpected journey really made me reminisce old stories/shows from when I was a kid. The ending was special like the "Disillusionment of Ten o'clock" which mocks our black and white lives which we accept and continue our daily routines until the very end. Really Great job!
ReplyDeleteI think we can all relate to this! We all doze off into space daydreaming about different things at random times. Great ending by the way! very well written:)
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I remember the endings of my dreams really well before the damn alarm clock ruins them and this is pretty spot on on how random they are. Good job :)
ReplyDeleteThis was definitely my favorite piece of the month! I really liked how you used such an imaginative topic and manipulated it in a way that everyone can relate to and understand. I also loved how you made it seem like the dreams were going to turn into nightmares and then it all switched! Good play on emotion there :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments! This was just an idea I had about how dreams are probably the only safe haven we have. Even then something is there to ruin it, like accepting the repetition of life is absurd, but we do it anyway.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling this right now, especially at the end of senior year. Everyday is the same. This was a great story.
ReplyDeleteI really loved it very funny !
ReplyDeleteThat is some intense dreaming! It reminds my of inception. I also like how you incorporated everything on the outside to what is going on in your dreams like the alarm.
ReplyDeleteThat ending made me giggle lol I liked this. Dreams don't ever really make sense and you showed that by flipping back and forth between setting and such. Great job love!
ReplyDeleteThe imagery and detail was very well written in this piece. I loved the ending. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI loved the ending! Such a remarkable story. great job!
ReplyDeleteYour description of the entire thing had me feeling your emotions alongside you. I could feel the calm of the field and the hysteria of the walls closing in on you. I loved that you added the two points of view, how you wanted to get rid of the monotony of your life but at the end you almost saw it as comforting because of the dream you had! It's like you came full circle :)
ReplyDeleteAhaha I can really relate to this. Hey just a couple of more weeks and your alarm clock wont have to end your dreams/nightmares.
ReplyDeleteWoah this is awesome! Such great imagery, as I was reading this it was like watching a movie. I like how you start by going through a field and then it jumps to being a spaceship! definitely reminded me of some crazy dreams I've had haha Great Work! :)
ReplyDeletei don't like alarms period. your good at describing the many things that bother us men in life. your rhetorical tool are sharp and you make good sense of a flash fiction piece, which is difficult to put out. this is some golden work.
ReplyDeleteThe specific detail really allowed me to form a vivid picture of what was going on in my head. Nice job on creating such a good read.
ReplyDeleteDreamland, a great place dfor a story, great job
ReplyDeleteWhoah man, this was awesome. I actually felt the claustrophobic feeling once you started going into detail towards the middle. Great descriptions! Continue that imagery and adding in those details. :)
ReplyDeleteandrew you have real talent as a writer and i think you should definitely follow it if it i your passion. first the play then this. amazing job dude
ReplyDeleteVery descriptive i loved the beginning of it especially because everyone could relate to that. I could imagine everything like it was going on right in front of my eyes. Good job! -Rebeca Amezcua
ReplyDeleteThat ending was really incredible. Your writing style is very unique and had lots of imagery
ReplyDeleteI love the creativity above all. great work!
ReplyDeleteThis was sooo well written. I loved the creativity & shifts in tone. I was entertained! Great job!
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