Confidence--Mankaran

 

“Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot.” –Truman Capote

     I was never the most popular or social kid in middle school as I struggled with depression and constantly had to deal with bullying and harassment. When the pandemic began during the end of eighth grade I believed that it was a blessing in disguise. Next year I thought that I would begin high school with a blank slate but as the lockdown progressed into the 2020-2021 school year I began to lose social skills and the ability to communicate with others. Eventually my freshman year of school ended and it had come to my attention that sophomore year would occur physically at school. Learning this was a bittersweet experience as I was finally going to be able to make friends and communicate with my peers but I also experienced stress as I did not want high school to be mirror middle school. 

     Merraim Webster suggests that confidence is a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances. Although I agree that confidence can supply one with the ability to perform actions, I also believe that it allows you to fully embrace yourself and become a person you are glad to be. During middle school I lacked the confidence to express myself and voice my opinions as I feared backlash and others disapproval. In high school I wanted to be able to gain the confidence to be comfortable in my own skin. 

     Throughout sophomore school year I was able to excel at many of my classes which allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and make friends with many people in my classes. Towards the end of the school year I began my driver's education classes. After sophomore year had come to a finish I gained a little more confidence in myself but I still was not the most social person. During junior year I continued to be proficient in my classes which allowed me to continue making friends and I also got my license which gave me a sense of accomplishment and independence and I no longer had to rely on my parents to drive me around. In the summer of junior year I was able to start going to the gym and experience the world on my own. The gym allowed me to put some muscle on and gain confidence in my self image. I had also begun to experience the world independently through volunteering at hospitals and other internships. My involvement in the community allowed me to begin believing in myself and my abilities to form tasks. 

     Throughout high school I believe that I have successfully gained the confidence to behave as myself in front of my peers. I have also come to realize that people will always judge you for who you are and what you do, but you should not let that stop you from living your life as you wish. Although I have a long way to go, I am on the right path to fully building my confidence.

“Confidence Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/confidence. Accessed 12 Nov. 2023.