Child Innocence--Julianna

 Growing up in a life like mine has always been different than a lot of other kids. I would wake up on a saturday morning and get ready to head out on the road. Sometimes we would drive short distances and then other times we would drive long distances. It was always extremely different from the ordinary child. My family and I would always wake up so early for softball tournaments and I just remember waking up with a crisp dewy smell of grass trying to rub the tired out of my eyes. It became so normal for my family to be at some park every weekend as a child I thought this was normal for everyone. Driving became relaxing for me, I still to this day feel happy when I look outside the car windows. The happiness of driving and being outside on the field always made me feel safe, I never thought that the field would become my worst nightmare. It was just a random summer day, school had just got out and I remember heading to the field for my older sister's softball game. Since I was only eleven years old at the time I didn’t understand a lot of what happened. I was watching the game like any other time before and all of a sudden a young player named Dana had fallen to the hard dirty ground. The crowd went silent and sirens started to approach the field fast. She went to the hospital and her teammates and friends followed. I saw her friends, including my sister start to cry in pain and I just sat there curious about what had happened. At the hospital, everyone sat in silence and finally a parent came out to talk to everyone.The man explained how Dana had a brain aneurysm that popped in her head. I remember them trying to describe the aneurysm in the most easiest way possible. He explained that she felt no pain and that gave me a sort of relieved feeling. The day was long, but the night was even longer, my family finally went home and we came back early the next morning. Driving back and forth now became upsetting and I wished for everything to be like normal again. For three days we waited for her to get better, but she never did. I remember on the way to the hospital the third day I figured Dana would wake up and everything would be okay, but my mom told me something else. She prepared me for what she believed was going to happen and told me miracles don’t happen everyday. This was the first time I ever believed she wasn’t going to make it, my innocence was crushed. I looked out the car window and saw a beautiful sunset with pink clouds and I started to silently cry. I will never forget seeing her in the hospital and seeing her head half shaved for the operation. She looked so fragile and weak. The cries of her four year old sister will always haunt me from here on out. The screams of her mom and dad were so surreal, I will never forget the heartbreak her family felt the day they decided to pull the plug. Soon after, I went to my first funeral. Dana’s casket was open and I remember being upset, I was never close to her but I saw all the people she impacted, I saw her beautiful soul being celebrated and she will always have a piece of my heart. The experience crushed my inner child’s soul, I’ve never seen death like this and especially for someone who was only fifteen. I didn’t understand why it was her, why did she have to be the one to get sick, why did no one believe her when she would complain of headaches? I always thought about how if the doctors caught her aneurysm earlier she would still be with us today. I realize now that life doesn’t work that way, but it gives me a sense of relief knowing that there's someone greater up there who had other plans for Dana. Since that horrible day, I’ve learned to not take life for granted. I see people do it all the time, claiming how they hate life and how they rather just die. When I hear that I think of Dana, and I think about how beautiful she thought life was and how happy she made others. She made me want to be a better person even to this day. I know not to take the experiences I have for granted and to live every bit of life to the fullest. There is always light at the end of the tunnel and she will always be forever missed.