Troubled Household--Donavhen

Since I was born I had grown up only through the guidance of my mother and not so much help from the little boy I had called a father.But growing up without a father figure I can easily say it has shaped me into the person I am today.I still grew up with my father being in the household but he did little to nothing to help me grow as a man.He was either too busy to even be bothered with me , playing golf ,going to work ,or sitting in the garage.Since I was a kid i've always had to witness my mother and fathers relationship struggle.It would be days where they would break into heated arguments both physical and verbal.Times where my father would have the decency to hit my own mother right in front of me , it was moments like these where I would feel the most powerless that my own mother was being beat right in front of me and i couldn't do anything about it.Being in that household really took a toll on my mother ,she would always seclude herself to her bedroom where she would just lay in her bed reading her bible praying for help from a God who would never answer.Being in that house with my father really broke her.As a child I was able to see the stress she was being put through ,working a 9-5,having to take care of her family,going to school ,and being put through mental and physical abuse.But through everything she had been put through she still made room to be a loving mom and having to take the role of a father.No matter what my father put my mother though she still tried finding the strength to help fix her relationship with my father,although sometimes it worked it would only be a certain amount of time before my dad would go back to his old habits.Each and every time it would take a piece of my mother away with her love slowly turning into resentment for the man I called my father.Eventually my mother had been fed up with what my father was putting her through so she started to take things into her own hands.Seeing me her own child struggle mentally and physically did as much as she could to help me become a better man , and just someone better than what my father could ever be.But to finally cut herself off from my father she finally had the strength to file for divorce to which she knew was the best decision for our family.While we were waiting on the court date me and my mother began looking for places to live eventually we found the apartment “San Sevaine Villas”.Moving from a house to a smaller 3 bedroom apartment took some getting used to because the life I previously lived was growing up in a big house with a pool,2 dogs,nice front yard , to a three bedroom apartment with no pool ,no dogs,and no front lawn.Living with one parent and a small house definitely took its toll on me and my mother.Living on one income my mom couldn't afford to pay for my sports anymore so overtime I started gaining lots of weight,struggling with anxiety,depression and self confidence.Due to my address change I Had to change schools leading to me losing all my friends and being alone,which led to my state of depression and social anxiety worsening.At this time in middle school was the first time I learned how brutal pre-teens could be.Id constantly get bullied for being overweight,having nappy hair,my inability to run a mile in under 12 minutes and for having no friends.Over the

course of the year I finally made friends with a group of people who were able to accept me for who I was and i'm still proud to be able to call them my best friends today , their names were Adam,Tre,Anthony,Alex,Ashton,Derek,Joseph,Cole and Nathan.Throughout all of middle school and highschool they play a huge role in my life,they have gotten me through the toughest times,they helped me overcome my depression and social anxiety,they were always here for me no matter what I had been going through.I can easily say im glad they helped me grow as much as we helped each other grew as a group.Going back to my mother I can easily say she is the strongest and loving women I know.But first moving into the apartment she had a sense of freedom but there would be countless nights where she would cry to me talking about how much she had missed my father.Which had made me realize that no matter what he put her through that was still her husband in which she very much loved but despised him at the same time.Supporting herself and me had been very hard on her,she would have to continue to work her 9-5,often took overtime,went to school, and even had a side job where she would go see patients just so she can afford to pay rent,have enough food,pay for internet even buying things that were not essential just so her and I could live comfortably.Being a solo mom she had to take the role of a loving mother and a hard,disciplinary father.I can't explain every lesson she taught me being while playing the role of a mother and a father but she did a great job raising me.She raised me how to be a useful,loving,caring man.Thanks to her I can somewhat understand what other women go through around me since majority of my life I had been raised by a women , but also know how to be a man when it comes to little things such as fixing things around the house,be able to cook cause she always tells me “a women loves a man who can cook”,be able to properly clean,and just humbling myself before others.Over a period of 6 years living in a apartment my mom watched me grow from being a depressed,anxious,and chubby little kid to a loving ,confident,humbled,handsome young man.And I can easily credit my mother for everything she taught me to be a man and i'm still learning to be a even better man but thanks to my mother she had grown me up to be a humbled young man.