"Normal" Days--Alexys

August 24, 2018
It was a normal day, just like any other... almost. First, I should explain that I have medical issues which cause me to have chronic neck and back pain, so my “normal” days are filled with the exhaustion of barring these physical pains all day and all night. Although, it isn’t alway unbearable, only sometimes, like August 24, 2018. On this day, I woke up with pain, of course, but it was slightly heightened. I didn’t think much of it, why would I? So, I got ready and went to school. By the time I walked down from the parking lot I could feel that the pain had intensified. My muscles were becoming overly inflamed and tight. I tried massaging my back but nothing could help at that point and I knew it would only get worse, so instead of going to first period I went straight to the nurse’s office. The nurse's assistant called my mom at work who gave me permission to go home. I had already decided that I couldn’t walk all the way to my car from the nurse’s office because when the pain gets so unbearable, like how it was, my legs weaken, it is hard for me to walk, I get a headache, I become nauseous because the pain is completely overwhelming, and I start to get dizzy. So, I decided to ask a security guard who was on the golf cart just outside the nurse’s office if he could give me a ride to my car because it was hard for me to walk and I wasn’t sure if I could make it there. I remember his careless, unconcerned response as clear as day: “I have something more important to do.” Then he drove off. I was left standing there, ready to collapse from the pain and trying to comprehend what he had just said to me. After realizing there were no other security guards around, I began my towering journey to the student parking lot. With each step I felt a striking pain up my back and down my legs. My eyesight was blurred by tears, my head pounded, my stomach turned, all while I was trying to keep my balance because I was so dizzy from hyperventilating. I walked on, terrified that I would faint at any given time and there would be no one to help me. I finally reached the stairs near the construction and dragged myself up them. At that point I knew I was going to pass out if I didn’t hurry and get to my car and it petrified me, so I tried walking a little faster. I was considering just laying down, in the middle of the parking lot, but I forced myself to keep walking. Then, I felt like the luckiest person alive. I saw a good friend of mine. Whether it was coincidence or fate, I really don’t care, I was just lucky that, of all days, he was late that day because if he hadn’t been, I don’t think I would have made it. He said hello and asked what was wrong, but before I could even finish asking for help walking to my car I collapsed onto the floor. Luckily he caught me and held my head so it wouldn’t hit the ground. He kept asking me what happened and what was wrong but all I could manage to say was a fractioned part of a sentence: “Back, my back, it’s my back.” I then heard a car pull up and a man get out and start asking “What happened? What happened?!” All my friend could say was that I collapsed, so the man immediately told him to call 911. Next, I hear a group of students coming, I knew them. At that point I had to put my full faith in the group of students who were there and the man who I never even saw the face of. I will forever be grateful for their kind help and quick thinking. One of the girls knew my sister, so she contacted her, which I am assuming is the one who told my parents what was going on. The next thing I knew a golf cart was pulling up with the nurse. The nurse annoyingly told everyone to leave me alone and said that I was fine because I was just in her office (clearly I was not fine). They sat me on the cart next to the same security guard who denied me help earlier. I’m not sure if my anger at seeing him caused me to hyperventilate more

or if I was just in more pain by being moved, but I started breathing a lot faster. If you have ever hyperventilated you will know that parts of your body will begin to tingle, your hearing becomes impaired, and you start losing your vision. This has happened to me before so I knew what was happening and I knew that I was going to black out if I did not get ahold of my breathing, but it was too late at that point. I had no control over my body, I was paralyzed and I relied solely on my friend to hold up my head, but the nurse yelled at him to let me go. She thought I was faking it and she kept asking me “Oh you want to play hardball?” Then, all of a sudden, I couldn’t breath at all. The nurse started slapping me in the face to wake me up but saw that wasn’t helping, so the split second before I passed out she cracked open something that woke me up. Soon after, a firetruck was there and paramedics were able to calm me down. They took care of me until my father arrived and drove me to the hospital. I don’t remember much after that.
This was an extremely significant day of my life because I realized that my medical condition can be immensely painful if left unchecked, so at that point on I knew that this was something I would have to manage for the rest of my life. That day I also learned that I need to have more faith in other people and I need to lean on others when I truly need help.