Validation--Melina

 

As humans, we all strive for validation in our lives. We are designed to seek validation

from the people around us as a source of joy or need. Junior year of high school was filled with

restless days sleeping at 2 am studying for AP classes, while having to wake up at 6 am for

school. Those days were full of anxiety and depression desiring to keep straight A’s while my

social life was drained. Each day spending hours in my room barely seeing those around me.

Many may ask why stress out for school; they are just grades that can always be made up. As a

student who came from parents who immigrated to the U.S. for a better life I did not seek

validation for myself, but from my parents feeling the need to prove to them their hard work paid

off. Nothing could make parents happier than their children exceeding in school. Indeed my

parents were happy with the good grades I achieved while I could only think of what else I could

do. Of course who wouldn't be happy with the grades they achieve but not when your validation

was on the line? Not only did validation affect me with grades but also with my choice of major

and career for the future. Many of us are pressured into careers involving the medical field or

law being more prestigious and high-paying careers. As a way to live our parent's dreams or

feel successful around others. Although my interest was in fashion it was a dream far from

reality not a secure or high-paying job. Ultimately I stuck with the pathway of becoming a lawyer

while I find political science interesting Is it something I see myself doing for several years?

According to Merriam-Webster, validation means “To recognize, establish, or illustrate the

worthiness or legitimacy” The meaning of validation for me is feeling the need to achieve more

than what you can to content those around you. Academic Validation is a topic normalized in

today's society, especially toward teenagers and young adults feeling that school is the only way

that can lead them to success. Validation is something that tends to lower people's self-esteem

and strength, not making them see what they value and want—leading to comparisons between

peers. Education systems emphasize the importance of grades for students to succeed putting

pressure on many. As a current senior applying to college academic validation has been very

common these past months for students trying to take as many AP classes and extracurriculars

as they can. This can be seen in many social platforms such as TikTok where many students

talk about their GPA, grades, classes they have taken, and even colleges they have gotten

accepted to. While scrolling through TikTok these videos would make me think I didn't take

enough AP classes or that my GPA wasn't great for schools I've applied to, making me feel

discouraged.

As a student who sought after academic validation, I have slowly learned that overworking

myself for others' opinions and happiness will only consume me, leading to disappointment with

what I have achieved. Validation is something toxic that consumes us into an unhealthy

environment and bad state of mind. Although validation motivates us in the beginning it is a

vicious cycle that causes us to overwork ourselves leading us to lose the determination we once

had. Ways that have slowly helped me overcome academic validation are focusing on what I

can control and what is out of my reach, learning that mistakes mean room for improvement,

and most importantly a grade doesn't define how smart you are. Everyone has weaknesses and

strengths. Smartness comes from people's abilities, critical thinking, creativity, and practical

skills, and not grades. We should not compare one another or pressure ourselves with more

than we can handle.

Citations-

“Validate Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster,

www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/validate. Accessed 16 Feb. 2024.