Chevy's Why--Jeslyn

 As a child I always wanted to know why. Why did things work the way they did? Why did things happen at the time they did? Just why?? I was quickly introduced into the “silent game” during car rides… Because of these questions constantly floating in my head, I was built into a firm believer of things always happening for a reason, and sadly shaped into a great overthinker… However, this belief ended up helping me process some of the most traumatic experiences in my short 18 years of life. This belief aided me in perseverance through all my obstacles, except in one occurrence, where I completely fell off the tracks and couldn’t figure out why- or the reason in which my best friend was taken from me so abruptly.

 The night of August 1, 2021 my dad and I made the decision to put our dog down. Although we had an appointment with the vet the following day, my dad’s 40th birthday, to put him down- we found ourselves selfish in trying to keep him another day. 

The next three days a handful of words left my mouth, but one single word suffocated my mind. Why? Why now? Up until four months later I was able to understand and accept why. 

When Chevy entered our lives, my dad was a single father who saw his daughter every other weekend. (I named him Chevy after the Chevy Impalas my grandpa used to make ) And throughout those two weeks while I was with my mom, Chevy would unexpectedly become my dad’s best friend, and ultimately ‘fill in the void’ of that loneliness for him. Every other weekend is where I find my most profound memories as a child, all of which are of my Chevy Boy. This was my dad's simple life for almost 17 years, until August of 2020 when I unexpectedly came to live with him. While also meeting his now fiance that same month, my dad found his world flipped upside down in trying to juggle being a full time parent, dating, and working like a mad man. 

As for me and the battles I was fighting, I found myself in a very dark internal loneliness. Much of that emptiness however was filled by the memories I have of the last year of Chevy’s life by my side. There were many mornings I had no urge to get out of bed, and to my luck that was no problem to Chevy, so there we layed in my bed, asleep in my dark room as zoom meetings chimed in the background. At the time I believed I had the world's laziest dog, who instead of eating his food and being outside, would much rather lay by my side. Although I was concerned I would've never thought it was a sign of his health declining, and I’m sure he found it hypocritical of me to tell him to eat his food knowing I wasn’t doing the same. For ten months that was our routine, and as we both watched my dad prepare for the next chapter of his life, Chevy was needed by me as I worked on closing mine.

May of 2021 my dad moved in with his pregnant fiance in Los Angeles where they prepared to have my little brother Aiden. I moved back in with my mom and stepdad in Fontana where I prepared for my senior year of high school. As fast as our lives were flipped upside down, they were flipped back up, and we were both placed where we needed to be. My dad was ready to enter his forties as a semi- new parent, as I was ready to turn 18 and begin my last year of high school- all with our best friend by our side of course.. In fact I always thought of buying Chevy a service dog vest in order to get him into my graduation ceremony… but that day wasn’t written for us in our script. It took awhile but I’ve come to realize the reason as to why he went at the time he did. Chevy Boy served his purpose, and that was the end of his chapter in our lives. Chevy entered our lives at our loneliest points and helped us find where we belonged and after nine incredible years, he fulfilled his ‘why’. He was present for the most drastic growth in both my life and my dads when it came to maturity on the inside and out. And as much as we both wanted him to be there for the next era of our lives, he couldn’t. It took some time but my anger has settled and the pain has rationalized my acceptance of the fact that Chevy will forever be remembered as my childhood dog that I grew up with, and my dad’s right hand man…