How do you know yourself?--Lorenzo

 A world on fire. An impressionistic painting made up of changes in temperature, air density, vibrations and subtle smells. 

I rewatched Marvel’s Daredevil recently, fascinated by how Mattthew Murdock, a blind lawyer, lost his eyesight, but is still able to see far more than you or I could ever imagine. I watched the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen explain how he saw everything as “A world on fire” like I mentioned before, but was more drawn to how his powers allow him to understand someone so intimately. How he can hear a heartbeat from meters away to tell if someone’s lying to him. How he can sense changes in someone’s breathing, the heat coming off of their skin that shows that they’re stressed, scared, or uneasy. The way his perception of others was portrayed made me question my own perception and understanding, of others and of myself. 

What does it mean to understand yourself? To know who you are? 

Of course, there’s the image of yourself that you and everyone else around you can see. Like how I know that I’m 5’11, have black hair and brown eyes. I know that I mostly dress in clothes that I can fall asleep in at any given moment. I have a rough idea of what I look like when I walk through the halls, and a rough idea of what type of guy I am just from the things I’m into, the jokes I tell, and how I’m shamelessly writing a blog that includes Marvel’s daredevil as part of its centering concept . But I believe that to understand yourself, you can’t just base it on just what you see or know about yourself. To me, if you want to know who you are, you need a little help from other people.

 I don’t necessarily mean to get somebody to listen to your heartbeat, or feel the slightest change of your body temperature when you feel embarrassed. But understand that others can see so much more about you that you overlook.

 Other people have the privilege of not only seeing how you dress or how tall you are, they get to see your enthusiasm when you’re enjoying a conversation. They get to see how you laugh when someone tells a funny joke, or even get to laugh at a joke you told yourself. They can hear how much you enjoyed a movie or show you watched, what your plans are for the weekend, and see how you light up with excitement when you talk about both. Those lucky enough to be close to you get to hear your advice, they get to see how you persevere through life when it’s beating you the fuck up, they get to have you with them when they need comfort. 

To understand yourself, you need to understand your impact on other people. The way you make them feel or the things you inspire them to do. When you’ve been with yourself your entire life, you miss out on how your presence feels to the people around you. The image of yourself, as complete as you think it is, is missing the mark you leave on the world.