Now and then I think about you, my old friend. I think about how you ruined me, but in the process, you made me a better person. I think about the sting you caused when we made contact with each other. I think about how that sting became familiar. The pain, the escape, the feeling, it was something I had grown quite fond of. For a while, you made me numb, numb to emotion, numb to society, numb to life. Nothing has been the same since you came into my life. I'm still haunted by everything you've done, the memories of how you made me feel, what you made me forget just for a split second, what you gave me, and what you took away.I was tired of pretending everything was okay of pretending I was okay because I wasn't, but nobody noticed that. I have bipolar depression ICD 10 f31.3, meaning I'm bipolar with mild/ moderate depression. Every day for a year, I put on this smile and told myself, "you'll be fine," hoping that one day I'll believe it. For as long as I can remember, all I've tried to do is make everyone happy and be there for everyone in no regards to how I feel whatsoever. I've realized that nothing truly made me happy, I couldn't even begin to describe how I felt, I wasn't pleased, but then again I wasn't sad. It was like I was caught in between all these emotions, and I felt so empty I wanted to die. As I grew older, I've met people who have helped me and who have supported me despite my past. I've met people with a similar story, and I realized that I'm not the only one going through this, and one day I hope to help others the way they've helped me. I'm sharing this part of me because I wouldn't be here or who I am today without this experience. Everything that's happened to me in the past has made me a more reliable person. I can be there and help many others that are now going through what I went through. Sometimes I want to
go back to you but I know I left you behind for the better. It was good for me to leave
you behind because I'm a better person for it but I can't help but wonder how I would
have ended up if I did not seek help. I let you go long ago now it's time for you to do
the same. Im free.
I like how the story was and how you portrayed it. What you wrote is how a lot of people can relate to and when they get older feel as if they accomplished nothing. It was good how you did it and intriguing. Love you gurll!!
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