Holding on to Numbers--Jessica

 

    Before I was old enough to go to school, my parents would drop me off with my grandparents while they went to work. It was there, in their lime green house on a corner in East Los Angeles, that I began to learn Spanish. My Ama and Apa are immigrants from Mexico and know very little English. Whenever I was with them, we used Spanish to communicate. Ama was one of the only people who kept my connection with the culture alive. She would try her best to familiarize me with the language and began by teaching me numbers. 

    I always had a hard time with the teens; dieciséis, diecisiete, dieciocho, and diecinueve were particularly difficult for me to grasp. One time, at my Tía Concha’s house, Ama was testing me on my numbers and I got stuck at trece. I can recall looking at her and despite my desperate perseverance, I could not remember. She then looked back at me with a kind understanding and guided me to veinte. After a minute or two of practicing on my own, I returned to her, tried again, failed again, and repeated the process until I no longer needed so much guidance. Getting the hang of the teens was difficult but once I got it down, I felt accomplished in a way I have rarely felt since. 

    As I grew older and began kindergarten, the times I visited Ama grew increasingly distant. In school, I was taught the English language and thus, Spanish became more of a faint memory and less a part of my identity. I remember learning to count to 100. My paper was soon stapled to the wall along with every other kid who mastered the list. I was so proud of myself then. Knowing 100 numbers made me feel unstoppable. Yet, with school becoming such a prominent part of my life, English soon took over. Each day I learned something in English, it felt as if I forgot a word in Spanish. I knew less and less until I eventually found myself struggling to communicate with Ama. During our occasional phone calls before holidays and birthdays, she would speak in Spanish and I would respond in English. Both of us understood the other enough for simple conversation but anything else would require the use of Google Translate as a bridge to connect our two worlds. 

    Throughout elementary and middle school, I felt a growing disconnection. The weekly family parties that I grew up with became less common as my homework or my personal life consumed me and decreased my interactions with my Spanish-speaking family. The more I familiarized myself with English, the more uncomfortable I felt speaking in Spanish. At one point, I felt that without a shared language, there was no longer any way for me to connect or bond with them. My relationship with my extended family was dissipating and as a result, Spanish soon became a foreign language to me, a language I felt uncomfortable using. 

    It was not until high school that I began to restore my connections. During freshman year, I took Spanish 1 and among the first few lessons was numbers. Señora Clarke called on me and asked me to say my phone number out loud. With a trembling voice, I started with “Mi número de teléfono es…” and as best as a non-fluent person can speak, I read my number aloud to the class. For the first time in a long time, I felt that I could have a connection to Spanish. I was nowhere near perfect but the work was significantly easier for me in comparison to other students. From that, my confidence in speaking, writing, and listening in Spanish grew tremendously. Throughout highschool, as I advanced to higher classes, we were taught new vocabulary and grammar. I quickly realized how much I did not know I already knew in Spanish. 

    With some time, I understood that the only barrier that kept me from connecting with my family was my lack of confidence in trying. While I continue through my education in English, I hope to reconstruct my connection with Spanish and the family and belonging that comes with it. For the future, as Ama lives half the time in Aguascalientes and half the time in our house, I hope to improve my language skills, learning to count beyond 1000 this time. As for when I am surrounded by English, I hope that I hold on tight to Spanish and that I do not let go, no matter what. 

How to Play Poker and the Lessons that Follow--Adam

 

Lift Me Up--Noah

 

Everyone has a role model in life, whether it be a parent, aunt or uncle, celebrity, athlete, or anyone that brings true inspiration and passion. A person that stands out to you due to their charisma and determination. That person was my father. 

From a young age, I was very close with my father. I am the only son out of my two sisters, so immediately he took me under his wing. I can remember the days when I was 5 and he would help me build my toy train tracks, or when I was 7 playing football with me in the front yard, and even yelling my name so loud during my swim meets that I was embarrassed. But reflecting back on those memories, it was just him expressing his love and support for me and doing what any father would do for his son.

 Like any father, he was goofy, loving, supportive, generous, and overall a pure hearted man. His drive to ensure that my family was safe and comfortable is what drives me to have such a strong family value and have love for the people around me. My reality with him and my family was pure euphoria and an endless amount of smiles and laughter. But growing older, I began to see the true nature of the reality behind the smiles. Where behind the smiles was pain, suffering, and struggle. 

It all started about 4 years ago during 2019, where my father’s health began to decline. I remember the phone call where the doctor declared that his kidney was dead and he needed to be on dialysis. No problem right? He can get through this, he’s strong. Well, not exactly. It was a struggle for my family and I to adapt to his treatment. From the start, I began to see my father struggle with daily tasks such as chores around the house, feeding himself, and it even came to the point of him being barely able to walk. Overtime, it became worse and worse, recurring doctors appointments, random infections, and other struggles. My family and I tried our best to ensure my father felt the same way as he did for us, safe and comfortable. But things changed on the morning of July 26, 2020. 

I woke up to my mother crying at 7:59 in the morning, urging me to get out of bed and get dressed to go to the hospital. She was on the phone with the doctors as they performed CPR on him. I was very disoriented, barely waking up and trying to wrap my head around the situation. We got there as soon as we could, but it was a struggle to get into the emergency room due to COVID. It took us an hour to wait to get an all clear to go in, but it was too late. At 9:45 in the morning, my father passed away due to a heart attack. When we entered his room, he was lying there peacefully. I remember going through his phone and the last thing he did was look through his photos of us. I thought he would be there to teach me how to drive, see me walk the stage at graduation, but the harsh reality was he was not going to be there physically. It was tough for my family and I. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself. My rock, my number one supporter, my sports buddy, my father. He was my everything to my family and I. 

Months passed and I had to learn to live without him. I had many sleepless nights talking to him and telling him about my day, the little accomplishments that I achieved, telling him my drama, anything I could have possibly thought of. Throughout those months of being without him, my grief was strong and I struggled. But there was one thing that got me through that time, and it was love. My love became stronger for the people I cared about, and I was reminded everyday by my mother and sisters to stay strong and have faith. Our love for one another brought us together in a way I never could have imagined. We all learned together to lift each other up, work through the day and make sure our goals were achieved. It wouldn’t have been possible without love, especially from my father. The love that my father gave me to lift me up from my downs, to lift me up for when I feel like I am lost, and to lift me up and help others. Although he is not here physically, his love continues to inspire and lift up my family and I. 

Lunar Control--Francine

    Does the moon have control over humans? The moon has always been constant in all humans’ life as it rotates the Earth, promising to always provide light in our nights. This moon has been the center of global calendars and other custom beliefs. Earth’s natural satellite influences many factors within our environment such as controlling the rising and falling of the sea tides through its gravitational pull, as well as guiding corals to release their sperms and eggs into the ocean on a full moon creating a colorful blizzard of red, orange, yellow, and white particles. People often say that the moon affects their mood, energy and behaviors. They even say that the lunar cycle impacts our fertility, menstruation and birth rate. However, even though the moon and its gravity controls the water currents within the ocean, it does not affect the 75% of water in our human bodies. 

    Although the moon may not have many direct physical effects on humans, it could heavily affect humans psychologically. Most menstruations occur during the phase of the new moon which is when the moon is practically invisible. This is why people say that the lunar cycle affects fertility, menstruation, and birth rate since women are most fertile during their period. In addition, this is why some women are depressed, irritated, and have low self esteem while the moon is gone. In an experiment in 2021, researchers found that on full moons people get less sleep and more REM (rapid eye movement) in their sleep which can result in sleep apnea. The explanation for this sleep mishap is that lots of people tend to get anxious and a sudden change of behavior on a full moon. 

    Furthermore, the moon may have control over humans through the connection of time. In various cultures, the moon has been a reference point to calculate the date, meaning that it tells people when to celebrate holidays, fast for certain religions, and perform rituals. For instance, the Greek, Roman, and Chinese people use the 12 moon cycles and sometimes a 13 moon cycle to keep track of the seasons throughout the year. These seasons help them also determine when to harvest foods or collect taxes which can affect humans economically. Also, the moon was used by Christans and Muslims to tell them when to celebrate Easter and Ramadan which includes fasting for Muslims and for some branches of Christianity. The fasting process may affect human health as it can impact blood sugar control and blood pressure. 

    Lastly, the moon can control some behaviors in those who hold the custom of astrology. 25% of the people around the world have faith in astrology as they also believe in the moon’s role in their horoscope. One’s horoscope is determined by their zodiac sign which is based on the month they were born. All the different people with zodiac signs, also have different moon signs which are established by the exact time that someone was born. Believers of this custom believe that their moon sign can predict their future, personality, emotions, desires, motivations, strengths and weaknesses, and relationships. All of these factors can influence someone’s decisions, behaviors, and their interactions with those around them. 

     In conclusion, the moon may have control over humans whether it be psychologically, physiologically, or spiritually. The way the moon can influence human life is ultimately up to an individual's specific beliefs, customs, and perspectives. 

Sources: 

    ★ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16407788/#:~:text=The%20lunar%20cycle%20has %20an,correlate%20with%20the%20menstrual%20cycle. 

    ★ https://www.livingwiththemoon.com/origin-moon-calendar/ 

    ★ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/moon-effects-on-humans/ 

    ★ https://www.healthline.com/health/full-moon-effects#full-moon-and-sleep 

    ★ https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2019/12/fast-or-not-fast 

    ★ https://astrostyle.com/astrology/planets/moon/ 

    ★ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/moon-sign-meaning 

    ★ https://www.britannica.com/topic/nature-worship/Stars-and-constellations 

26.2 Miles--Noah

 

If you had told my younger self that I was going to run anything more than 2 miles, I

would have thought that you were crazy. Fast-forward to March 19th, 2023, lining up with about

22,000 other people, on a very cold and somewhat rainy day…to run the world renowned Los

Angeles Marathon. 26.2 miles of pain and suffering through the streets of LA, all just for a gold

medal…right? I was never really a runner growing up, the only sport I loved to play was the

game of basketball. I played basketball with my four other brothers and my dad, any other sport

outside of basketball was considered uncharted territory. Basketball was all my brothers and I

ever knew. During the beginning of high school I started to shy away from basketball and I

needed something to do. I took a look around to see what interested me. I needed something

challenging, something that took me out of my comfort zone, something to focus on outside of

school, so I took up running. I started around the end of junior year. That summer I ran the

Fontana Half Marathon (13.1 miles) which exceeded my expectations for the sport. Then at the

beginning of senior year, I ran a 10K (6.2 miles) through the beautiful streets of Santa Monica.

Ecstatic, I wanted to run something that was bigger and better. A few months later, in January of

2023, I decided to register myself for the Los Angeles Marathon after months of debating.

Through all the early 5 A.M. runs; whether long, short, fast, or pushing myself to the

extent that I almost puked, the day I had anticipated arrived. I woke up in my brother's condo in

Anaheim, my alarm went off at 4 A.M, and it was finally time to get ready. The race started at 7

A.M. and I still needed to drive with traffic to the starting line, which was located at the Dodgers

Stadium. Everything was quick. I took a cold shower, ate a light breakfast, and drank a huge

black coffee. I had all my gear out which consisted of my watch, a light tank top, some lululemon

shorts, socks, some Nike ZoomX Invincibles, and a running hat. I was locked in. My two

brothers Aiden and Isaiah also got ready and we left at 5 A.M. While driving there, I was

mentally preparing myself for the utmost pain I was going to face for the next 8 hours. When we

arrived at the parking lot, my brothers left me with powerful words of encouragement that I could

think back to when I needed an extra push during my run and we parted ways. I arrived around

6:20 A.M. to the runners drop off area which gave me plenty of time to take in some liquids,

warm-up, and of course use the bathroom. Eventually, 7 A.M. arrived and 22,000 other racers

including myself headed towards the start line. At last, the race started and I was off.

Miles 1 through 8 didn’t feel bad at all, in that time frame everything was going by quite

fast. Through those miles, I was just running and observing the beautiful landmarks that I had

never seen before. Passing through Chinatown, the LA City Hall, and Echo Park, I truly felt

grateful to be there. I also saw one of my best friends, Jofre, at the mile 3 water station. I

couldn’t believe it…one of my friends came all the way from Fontana just to see me run. I find it

beautiful in showing up and being present, I think it can make a huge difference. Miles 8 through

14 were quite challenging, I started to feel my legs and feet fatigue a little bit. Although I was

slightly hurting, the spectators, volunteers, and loud music pushed me through. I saw many

ridiculous posters, heard many cowbells ring, and heard different types of loud music. Strangers

even cheered me on as I ran through the streets of LA. Miles 14 through 20 were tough. My legs

felt like jello and I started to cramp in random places all over my legs. I told myself that if I really

wanted to finish this race, I actually have to get over myself and push through all the pain and

suffering I was feeling at the moment. Miles 20 through 26 were honestly terrible. There was a

combination of running and walking at that point and I felt like I was going to puke. I started to

tear up because everything was just hurting so much, I have never felt so much physical pain

until this moment in time. Although it was hurting so bad, I had to push through because I was

so close. At long last, I reached the 0.2 miles mark of the Los Angeles Marathon. I turned a

corner and soon saw a huge banner saying “Finish”. I soon understood what I came to know

that I was finally arriving at the finish line. I told myself to finish strong…so I did. What happened

next felt like a movie. As I was running, a huge downpour of rain occurred. Then, I heard a

familiar yet a loud set of voices that screamed my name. It was my mom and my 3 other

brothers, who were cheering me on to finish. I crossed the finish line absolutely drenched from

the rain, and a lady came up to me with a nice little golden medal that said “Finisher”.

How To Grow Your Natural Nails--Anais

 

    Growing up, I struggled with mental health issues such as anxiety. One of the ways I saw it manifest was in the form of nail-biting, a story some of you may know all too well. It was a habit I worked hard to leave behind in my childhood as I moved forward to more healthy coping mechanisms. While I haven’t exactly conquered my anxiety, because, after all, this is simply a nail tutorial, as I put more time into doing my nails, I find that taking care of them is also a way of taking care of myself. Though putting on a fake nail or getting long acrylics done may be easier than spending four months growing your nails out, I personally love having natural nails for that vampire look, and it’s a plus that I can also save some money by doing my nails at home. Even if you don't find this how-to useful for furthering your own goals, I encourage everyone reading to find ways to self-care and relax!

Materials: 

● Glass nail filer 

● Empty brush tip pen or empty nail polish container 

● Jojoba oil 

● Vitamin E oil 

● Rubber base gel polish or builder gel polish 

● UV Lamp 

Part I: Shaping 

Step 1 is choosing the correct nail shape. Even if your nails are short, choosing a good shape now will ensure the rest of the nail growth journey will be smooth. Any shape with sharp corners, such as square or coffin, is more prone to chipping as the corners can get caught on objects. That’s why I highly recommend squoval, oval, or almond for at least during the growth stage.

https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/set-of-nails-shapes-vector-19608413

Step 2 is filing your nails in the correct way. You want to avoid using nail cutters as they may splinter the nail. The best nail filers to use are glass nail filers, which are also washable and reusable. These filers will leave a fine sanding on your nails, which therefore will leave smoother edges that won’t split or snag. When using your file, move in long, one-directional strokes, not short see-saw movements. If you have a lot of growth to file, then using a more heavy-duty filer such as a metal filer is fine to remove the bulk, but return to a glass filer for the finishing touches.

Part II: Nail Care 

Step 3 is using nail oil. Nail oil will hydrate your nails and your cuticles as dry nails are prone to snapping, whereas moisturized nails will flex. I use a ¾ mix of jojoba oil with ¼ vitamin E oil. Jojoba oil is the most similar to the oil our skin naturally produces, so jojoba will absorb the best while vitamin E is anti-bacterial and will thicken up the nail solution. I put my mixture into a nail brush pen for easier application, but an empty nail polish container will also work. I apply this oil on my nails at least three times a day on my cuticles and the underside of my nails. If you don’t have access to these materials, using store-bought cuticle oil, hand lotion, or even vaseline can also work. 

Step 4 is being careful with your hands. Having long nails essentially means you have an extra few centimeters on your fingertips, so you also need to act like it. This means opening drawers with your knuckles instead of your fingertips and not using your nails to open things. Furthermore, nails become extremely delicate with prolonged exposure to water. You can think of wet nails as being similar to wet paper, and therefore much easier to tear. This means you should be washing dishes with gloves on and should always have a layer of nail polish on to prevent your nails from soaking up too much water. I’ll go into detail about how I apply polish in the next steps.

How To do an Oil Change--Miguel

 

Why pay for an overpriced oil change at a mechanic shop when you can do it yourself!? 

    When the Covid Pandemic hit, we were all forced to stay home and we were strongly urged not to leave. I didn’t mind it, one could even say I LOVED it; staying home, doing nothing all day every day, it seemed perfect to me. My parents, on the other hand, HATED it. They’re people who despise laziness, and have to be doing something at all times; they rarely take some time to relax. And my dad also hates paying people to do a service for him knowing he’s more than capable of doing it himself. He noticed I wasn’t doing anything during the pandemic and that angered him. He decided to teach me how to do many tasks: how to change a tire, how to change a lightbulb, and even taught me what he does for work, replacing a windshield on a car. But my favorite task he taught me was how to do an oil change. All the tasks were beneficial but doing an oil change stood out because it’s much simpler than one thinks.

The TOOLS you will need:

- A car jack 

- 2 or 4 jack stands (personal preference, see Step 2)

- Car creeper (optional) 

- Oil funnel

- An oil tray 

- Oil filter pliers 

- A socket wrench

 

- A socket (Most cars require a 14 mm socket or a 17 mm socket)

- An oil filter (specific for your car; additional info on Step 1)

- New motor oil for your car (specific for your car; check the engine cap on the engine)

Step 1: 

Acquire all the materials necessary for your oil change before you start. 

You will need: 

- To drive to your local AutoZone and locate the oil filters 

(Here you will find a book with information about what oil filter your car has.) - In the book, find the MAKE of your car, then the YEAR, then the MODEL of your car. 

        - The book is divided into columns and the first and second columns are used to find the oil filter for your car. 

- Locate the oil filter for your car, and purchase it 

*There are two different types of oil filters, a regular oil filter, and an XL oil filter; I recommend the XL because they last longer, but, both work fine. 

- On the engine of your car, you will find your car’s oil type on the oil cap 

        - You can also purchase this at AutoZone 

- You will need to get your car jack, as well as your jack stands (2 or 4) 

        - If you do not have access to these items, you can purchase these at AutoZone; yes, they will most likely be pricy, but, it’s an investment 

- Lastly, your socket wrench, socket, and oil filter pliers 

Step 2: 

Once you have acquired all your materials, this is where the fun begins!

     - Locate the jack points around your car 

    - There should be 2 on each side (front right, back right, front left, and back left), 1 in the front, and 1 in the back 

- First, jack the front of the car, using the car jack, high enough for you to fit under the car 

- Place the jack stands under the front right and front left jack point and once in place, lower the car jack

- Next, jack the back of the car high enough so your car is parallel 

    - Here, you can leave the car jack as it is, parallel, or place the other 2 jack stands under the back right and back left jack points

Step 3: 

Time to get your hands dirty! (I strongly recommend wearing gloves for this part) 

    - Get under your car and locate the oil pan 

- Using the socket wrench and the correct size socket loosen the bolt on the oil pan

- Loosen it enough to unscrew with your hands

- Get your oil tray and place it under the oil pan to catch the old oil 

    - Let it drain for about 10 minutes 

- After the oil pan is drained, loosen the oil filer using your pliers 

    - Again, loosen it enough to unscrew it with your hand 

- Place the oil tray under the filter as most of the time, the filter will leak oil 

    - Let it drain for 5 minutes 

Step 4: 

- Once everything is drained, screw the bolt of your oil pan back using your socket wrench 

- Place your NEW oil filter where the old one was, and using the pliers, screw it back on

Step 5: 

- Lower your car by placing the car jack on the front jack point of your car 

    - Lift your car until it lifts off the jack stands in the front right and front left positions 

- Remove the Jack stands then proceed to lower the car jack 

*After removing the front jacks, repeat the process but instead place the car jack on the back jack point and remove the back left and back right jack points. 

Step 6: 

Hang in there! You’re almost done! 

    - Pop the hood of your car open 

        - To open it, go inside your car and locate the hood lever; then proceed to pull it

- Once open, locate the oil cap on your engine and using your hand, unscrew it 

- Get your oil funnel, and put it right over where you unscrewed the oil cap 

- Carefully pour the oil into the funnel, and ensure that there are no spills 

- To see your cars oil capacity, look in the OWNER’S MANUAL

- Oil capacity is the amount of oil you should be refilling 

- After you fill your car up with the right amount of oil, crew the oil cap back on, close your hood, start the engine, and leave it running for 10 minutes 

After ten minutes, shut it off, and congratulations!! You just completed an oil change!

What Happens After--Taylor

 

The email had been sent out at 1:18 pm stating ¨An important update regarding your application to NYU is ready to view on your Application Status page.¨ I was in AP Spanish class and decided to wait until I got home. At 4:25 pm I opened my computer and sat next to my mom and sisters, a click away from my future that would start with a ¨Congratulations¨ or a ¨We are sorry to inform you.¨ For as long as I could remember NYU has always been my dream school, I had romanticized its big city lights, innovation all around, and a place where you could be and do anything. And plus who wouldn't want to go to a city where Gossip Girl was filmed, but that's beside the point. On my computer I read the words ¨A status update is ready to view¨ with the most fear, nervousness, and terror I had felt in all my 17 years of existence. I clicked on the link. My eyes lit up and I started to scream as the words ¨Congratulations¨ were the first thing that caught my attention. As tears rolled down my cheeks I couldn't have been the happiest person that day on December 15. Now that feeling of being on cloud nine only lasted for about a week, because after that I came to the realization that I would be in a city I've never been to, with nobody I would know, and be 2,752 miles away from everyone, and everything I've been surrounded by my whole life. I started to let the fear of ¨what ifs¨ and ¨doubts¨ take over, turning this amazing opportunity into something that would cause me worry and stress. I worried about what would happen after high school as the future is something unknown. I worried about making new friends, ending up alone, and figuring things out by myself in this new city I was going to call ¨home¨ for the next four years. But as I started to think more about it I looked at the positives of it all, I had got in for a reason, and this new adventure was going to be filled with so many new experiences and chances to try new things. Although leaving high school and graduating is going to be scary for not only me but the rest of the 800 hundred of the graduating class of 2023 at Etiwanda, I acknowledge that it isn't just me who is scared, everyone is but that shouldn't stop me or anyone else from experiencing and enjoying all the wonderful things that are to come. Do I know what's going to happen once I get to NYU, No. But that's the fun of it all. In this world, none of us know what the future holds and if we never take the leap of faith or take risks we will never experience the beauties of this world and all it has to offer. So if you asked me whether I'm ready to graduate and go to college I'd say hell no, but I know that everything is going to be okay and that a big part of me is super excited to start this new chapter in my life. 

Imagine us in Heaven--Dalila

Day 15 

Azazel:

 I have not been here long. There is no time where I reside, but I know I have been here fewer than the rest. The prisoners here are all mad with rage or sadness, violent and aggressive or conniving. I am none of those. I do not belong here. My sanity will go with time and my malice will grow as it leaves. I can feel it in my bones, but I will do what I can to keep it. I have been abandoned by Father. I feel he is close but he will not reveal himself. I search the skies when I can but I never see him. Sometimes I peek at the world above mine. I have never felt a greater peace than when I look up, between the cracks of my world, to the forbidden land. 

Day 33

 I saw him once between the ruptures in our world. He was striking; the brightest star in Heaven could not compare to the shine in his smile. His eyes were deeper than the voids that filled my world, a color that could not be fully grasped by my lowly eyes. No one in the Netherworld could see what I could. If I still had a soul, I would surrender it in a beat, if he would be the one to lead me to my fate. I wish to talk to him but the borders of my world hold me down, imprisoned for eternity. Elements of Heaven and Hell cannot touch. One of us will die if we touch they tell me. Only Helel knows what would happen. He says we are like lithium and they are water, if we were to touch, only one of us would survive and the other would be displaced. 

He lives in a realm where his sky is always golden, and the air is filled with the scent of magnolias and vanilla. Our worlds are divided into two halves; one is the abode of the higher beings, the messengers of God, and paragons of virtue. The other was where I resided, eternal torment, despair, and anguish consume every fiber of our being in a never-ending cycle of suffering and regret. The skies collapse upon us time and time again, although we have no sky, it is only rock. Our world is lit by the roaring fires from below. We are here to pay for our sins. 

I don’t remember what I did to get here, none of us do. I assume it is different where he resides. They may be reminded of their divine actions and heavenly spirits, while we are grounded to embers from pits of despair. I often wonder why they do not help us. Do they pity us? I wish they did. My teeth pound down on themselves at the thought. 

These days I keep my eyes on the skies, awaiting the few seconds before my “sky” folds in on itself. When I can see him, bouncing from cloud to tree, with his pinions glittering silver-red in the gay sunlight. One day I will find out his name and call to him, my six-winged siren in the Heavens.

 Day 77

Samael: 

I see him every day, his eyes pierce my skin with his gaze. I can’t stand to look at him in his profane form, with horns like jagged rocks and a stout beard. He remembers nothing of his actions, of his iniquitous betrayal of our Father. I am forbidden by higher laws to speak with prisoners of the underworld as they are no longer of us. Azazel was treacherous and must endure his punishment, but I cannot help but bleed for him. I will not deceive our Father and contact Azazel, but I may leave him a sign. Surely that will not be sinful. 

Day 89 

Azazel: 

My archangel committed an injustice against his kind today, he left me a message. He did this for me, a lowly demon! Today my angel flew with a goat through the skies. Oh, what mystique he displays, a goat of all animals? How did he know that I would understand? I feel that we know each other, and there is a reason he caught my eye. Were we brothers in a past life? Friends? Lovers? It vexes me that I do not know what he knows. Will he still love me after I do what Helel instructs me to? Did he ever love me? 

I informed Helel of our stolen glances, and he says that I must meet him soon. Every muscle in this cursed body twitches with jubilation at the idea of meeting my seraph. My blood boils with joy and curiosity at the thought of what might happen if we were near each other. He may fulminate in my presence, or I, in his. It excites me and plagues my every waking thought. I will meet him soon. Helel says I must request something that he cannot refuse. What can I offer? I have nothing that he would dream of. I cannot offer him riches. I cannot offer him love. I can only hope that he will bend to my will. I will promise him something a holy being like him can not refuse. I will offer him a confession.

 Day 111 

Samael: 

We have been indirectly communicating for some time now. I leave him a sign, and he returns it with facial expressions. I may not be able to speak with him, but I am allowed to look. He has requested to meet with him. We have agreed, he will speak and I will listen, for the only rule was that I not speak to him. I miss him greatly, I must admit. His presence was dear to me when we were together. We were divine in every way. Sometimes I think (and do not fault me for doing so) that his being there is my fault. Azazel was a kind angel, he only wanted to share his gift of knowledge with the lowly beings of Earth. He was too compassionate, that was his fault. Humans were greedy for knowledge, and that was Helels fault. So, my taking him to Earth to guide humans was foolish. I am no one to question Father, but I do not think Azazel deserves to be there despite his sins. He was an archangel once, how could he fall so hard?. If only his emotions did not get in his way, we would have ruled together for eternity. 

 Day 117 

Azazel: 

I will see him today. My beautiful archangel, there is no being as pious as he. We will meet at the borders of our worlds. I await his presence. 

He is here and so am I. He is a vision of divinity up close. The picture of sanctity, at a beastly 100 feet tall (possibly more). He will open up the seal, just small enough so that he may hear me, but not so much that I may slip through. I have been speaking with Helel and he has given me greatly important information. More importantly, my sterling angel and I will never be separated again. 

Samael: 

In all the time I’ve been watching him from above, I had not seen him beam with the vigor that he currently displays. He speaks to me through the crack, telling of his damnation but, suddenly, he stops. I thought that he had hushed his tone, so I leaned in to hear him better. I could hear nothing, so I pressed my ear against the crack and then I felt it. He touched my ear. And then I felt no more. How could he do this? 

Azazel: 

 The most ravishing sight was displayed before me. His face was drained of color, and his celestial body contorted and twitched and cracked. A few seconds passed and his eyes no longer had the sparkle of life. Dull was his skin, his eyes, his wings, he had been displaced! He sinned, oh the great angel, fallen. Helel will be so pleased with me! I wish I would have known his name so I could thank him for his naivety and beg for forgiveness. If not for him, I could never be reborn, set free from this place of confinement. He has given me the heavens, bestowed them upon my lap. I once again touched his ear and felt myself melt away. The feeling was so warm, warmth, unlike the scorching fires at my feet. He will be reborn soon, as one of us. We have come so far. Two ethereal beings joined together in the land of eternal punishment. 

How to--Arroz Con Leche--Illicity

 

During the winter or Christmas growing up in a Hispanic household was always my favorite time of the year. To me winter meant grandma's house and all the amazing dishes and dessert she would have ready for us. My all time favorite dessert she would make is Arroz con leche or also known as rice pudding. This dessert was the most amazing thing I have ever tried and what I beg for every year. This dessert is a sweet rice pudding that was brought into the world through the Spanish colonist. It’s a very simple and easy versatile dish that can be eaten at anytime. Arozz con leche or rice pudding is smooth and almost like oatmeal but even better.

Ingredients

 ● water 

● Rice 

● Sugar 

● Cinnamon sticks 

● Cinnamon powered 

● Vanilla extract 

● Evaporated Milk 

● Sweetened condensed milk 

Utensils needed 

● Pot 

● Any spoon 

Step 1: Bring water to a Boil in a large pot, add however much water you would like to make and then add 3 cinnamon sticks. Allow the water to boil as the 3 cinnamon sticks help give the water flavor and just add a little taste. 

Step 2: Once the water has begun to boil u want to remove the cinnamon sticks and add the rice into the pot of boiling water. U can add however much rice you need or would like and let this boil for just a couple mins. This step is really up to you and how much of the pudding you would like to make. 

Step 3: Once you have let the rice boil in the cinnamon water u then want to start adding in the rest of the ingredients. U then add sugar to your liking, condensed milk, and the evaporated milk. These help with the taste of the pudding and how sweet it tastes all together. One can of each milk should be enough but add to your liking. 

Step 4: Once all the ingredients are added u wanna use a spoon or large enough utensil in order to stir all the ingredients together. You wanna make sure you stir constantly and allow all the ingredients to combine together well. Stir for a good few minutes. 

Step 5: When you feel all the ingredients you have added into the water all well stirred you then want to get the lid of the pot and allow the rice and eveything fo st for a few seconds to get the texture of the rice and milk you want. This allows the rice to absorb the flavor of everything. (You want to make sure even after you covered it you keep and eye on it and stir it just so the rice does not burns MAKE SURE TO KEEP ON LOW HEAT) 

Step 6: Finally, once you have checked in on it and you realize the rice has gotten the texture of a thickness you then want to add cinnamon on top for more flavor (as much as you like) and add back the cinnamon sticks from the beginning to give it more taste through the rice. 

This recipe is one of the simplest to follow. Although many may make it differently I enjoy the way my grandma makes it best and the way she has taught me. 

Book Review: Chainsaw Man by Tatsuki Fujimoto--Mario

 

Chainsaw Man is a story written by Tatsuki Fujimoto and is about Denji, an orphan boy in debt who fights devils with his chainsaw dog named Pochita. Denji is killed by the Zombie Devil, but he is saved by Pochita who fuses with him via a devil contract. Pochita offers his heart to save Denji and in exchange Denji has to show him his dreams. This contract allows Denji to be able to transform into a devil human hybrid with a chainsaw for a head and chainsaws on his arms and he defeats the Zombie Devil. Denji is then taken in by a group of devil hunters led by a woman named Makima. Makima assignes Denji to work with other devil hunters named Aki and Power. Power is a devil fiend, but she works for the devil hunters to not be killed. The three are assigned to kill different devils in order to keep humanity safe. They are also searching for fragments of the Gun Devil in order to eventually find and kill it. In each arc new depth is added to each of the characters along with the characters developing throughout the story. For instance the three main characters, Denji, Aki, and Power all start off hating each other. Denji thinks that Aki is uptight and that Power is obnoxious. Aki does not like how close Denji is with Makima and he hates devils because his family was killed by the Gun Devil, accordingly he hates Power. And Power sees herself as better than both Denji and Aki and chooses to not follow along with what they tell her to do. But the more time they spend together, the more devils they kill, they begin to become a sort of family. Aki’s growth is my personal favorite. He starts off as a character with his only purpose being to kill the Gun Devil. But as the story progresses, he forms a strong bond with Denji and Power. He thinks of them as his siblings and realizes that there are more important things in life than revenge. This is one of the strongest points of Chainsaw Man. Fujimoto gets you to care about characters that you may have started off disliking. And those are just the main characters. The side characters are all just as interesting. Most devil hunters die and usually the only ones that end up surviving are not normal people. But that gives a sort of charm to the characters and the story shows what kind of people are willing to work this incredibly dangerous job. You meet dozens of characters throughout Chainsaw Man that come in all shapes and sizes, and they all have their own flaws, personalities, and goals. Chainsaw Man is a story about broken people that are being healed by being around each other. All of this is occurring while also providing incredibly detailed fight scenes that are always a pleasure to read. Characters have different ways of fighting depending on the contracts that they have with devils. In the world of Chainsaw Man, there is a devil for literally anything anyone can be scared of. And the devils they go against have more power depending on how many people fear that devil. For instance, a table devil would not be powerful, but a darkness devil would be incredibly strong. The different devils and their powers are always so creative which enhances the fights into being bombastic showcases of action. 

Everyone has something in the back of their mind that tells them if something is a good idea or not. The thing that is unique about Fujimoto is that this voice does not exist. Stories are a way to look inside the mind of an author. Fujimoto has a way of diving headfirst into whatever he thinks of. It is an incredibly odd, yet unique way of writing that makes Chainsaw Man so fun to read. While reading Chainsaw Man, I could never predict what would happen next. The way Fujimoto has laid out the world makes it so anything is possible, but at the same time, no matter how odd it may be, it somehow makes sense. After reading Chainsaw Man, I was lost. But at the same time I knew that I truly enjoyed what I had just read. And it made me want to make something, anything, so I started to draw. The story of Chainsaw Man is filled with passion, and that passion is contagious. It is a story that inspired me and gave me the urge to make something cool. It may not make sense as to why I like this story so much. But I truly hope that eventually everyone will experience something the way I experienced Chainsaw Man.

Book Review: My Phantoms by Gwendoline Riley--Ryan

I was mindlessly scrolling through YouTube on a early Sunday morning when I saw a book review on My Phantoms by Gwendoline Riley on my recommended feed. The channel, Dee Seturumane, was a small channel but their review of the book was very entertaining so I decided to read the novel for myself. 

Gwendoline Riley's My Phantoms is a captivating and introspective novel that delves into the complexities of human relationships, the long-term effects of trauma, and the elusive nature of memory. Bridget, a writer in her forties, is struggling to come to terms with the traumas of her past and the strained relationships of her present. 

Bridget's relationship with her mother is the focus of the first section of the novel. Readers gain insight into Bridget's upbringing and how her mother's controlling and manipulative behavior left lasting scars through a series of flashbacks. Riley captures the emotional weight of Bridget's memory and the tangle of her feelings deftly in her depiction of mother-daughter dynamics. 

The novel's second section focuses on Bridget's relationship with her husband and best friend. Bridget is forced to confront how past traumas continue to affect her current relationships as she faces the challenges of her marriage and the demands of her writing career. Riley's writing is razor-sharp and perceptive, and she excels at capturing the complexities and contradictions of human emotion. 

The depth and complexity of My Phantoms' characters is one of its most notable strengths. Bridget is a complex and multi-layered character whose struggles with trauma, relationships, and her own sense of self are depicted in a nuanced and sympathetic manner. Riley does an excellent job of demonstrating how Bridget's experiences have completely changed her. 

The novel's use of effective language is another one of its strengths. Riley uses poetic and lyrical language in her writing to provoke strong feelings and vivid visuals. The book is replete with lovely, enduring sentences that perfectly express Bridget's feelings and experiences. Riley says, "Memory is a grief that refuses to be consoled, that insists on its own brutality, its own bloody-handedness." for instance, while Bridget is considering her past. Bridget's memories and experiences, which continue to mold her, are disturbing and visceral, and this statement perfectly captures that. 

Riley also examines the concepts of trauma, power, and control throughout the book. She presents illustrations of the negative effects trauma may have on a person's life and relationships, as well as how the desire for control and power frequently results in inappropriate behavior. However, she also provides a apathetic viewpoint on these problems. 

The complexity of interpersonal connections and the lasting repercussions of trauma are two major themes in My Phantoms, a strong and thought-provoking book overall. Riley has written a fascinating and thought-provoking piece of fiction that is razor-sharp, observant, and emotionally evocative. This book will stay with readers long after they've finished reading it, making it a requirement for anybody interested in learning more about the human psyche. 

The Woods--Ben

 

Thu-thump, Thu-thump 

    The incessant drumming of the horse’s hooves on the long, narrow path over the silent hills was the only sound that accompanied Will on his ride to the woods. The moon was bright that night, waxing and half-illuminated. As the lone rider crested one of the many hills, he stopped for a quick drink of water. 

    As he slid quietly out of the saddle, he took a moment to stretch. 4 hours of nonstop riding was simply too many. Will took a glance around him, at the rolling green plains, and at the road ahead. He could faintly see the outline of a large mass of something in the distance. 

    “There’s our goal, Digger.” Said will to his horse. Unfortunately, due to the nature of horses, Digger seldom responded. “Well, we might as well be off again.” 

    Taking one last swig of water from his waterskin, Will swung himself back into the saddle, and the two once again began their ride towards the woods ahead. 

Thu-thump, Thu-thump 

The looming trees blocked more of the starry sky as they approached, and there was a sense of quiet foreboding, as if people were not meant to move between these trees at night. “Watch for the fork in the road, and we make it to the city before midnight,” Will spoke quietly, half to himself, and half to his horse. “I’m sure those rumors about what goes on in here aren’t anything more than common village gossip.” Still, he loosened his daggers in their sheaths, and made sure his longbow was strung tight before continuing. 

Thu-thump, Thu-thump 

    Digger made his way along the dirt, stone-strewn path slowly, clearly fazed by the menacing aura that seemed to be emanating from everywhere. Will, uttering some words of reassurance, for both himself and Digger, steered his horse with his knees, and his hands held his bow, with an arrow nocked, but not yet drawn. 

    A flock of birds rose from one of the many trees nearby. The sound was sudden, and Will quickly turned, half-drawing the bow out of instinct, before loosing a sigh and relaxing the tension. Digger, having felt his rider’s quick movement and stopped, began his slow gait once again. Will, normally content to travel by only the light of the moon, fished around in his bag for his lantern and his flint. Making sure the lantern was filled with oil, he hung the unlit container from the side of his saddle. As Will drew his dagger to strike against the flint for sparks, he heard a distant crunch ahead of him. 

     Sitting bolt upright, Will peered down the path, but the trees allowed almost no light to pass through. With a sense of urgency, Will began to slide his dagger and flint together, to create enough sparks to light the oil. As he fumbled with the two objects in the dark, there came another crunch, closer than the last. 

    Will muttered a quiet curse, moving the dagger and flint even faster than before. Again, crunch. Crunch. Crunch. The noises were getting louder and faster. Finally, Will managed to ignite the lantern, illuminating the forest around him. As the light grew, he dropped the flint and dagger, and shoved the lantern forward to see the source of the sound. 

    There was nothing there. 

    Will, confused and more than a little frightened, swung down from his saddle, clipping the lantern to his belt, and nocking an arrow to his bow. He walked forward a few steps, and knelt on the dirty floor. No prints, no broken leaves, no snapped branches. 

    Will silently contemplated this for a brief moment, before grabbing his dagger and flint from the road, without taking his eyes off the path. He quickly clambered back into the saddle, and urged Digger to a full gallop. 

Dugga-dum, dugga-dum, dugga-dum. 

    The meager circle of light around the horse and rider wasn’t enough to comfort Will, as the two plunged loudly through the forest ahead, not noticing the path disappearing beneath them, until they reached a river blocking the way forward.. 

    Will reined in Digger, looking quickly from side to side, and frowning worriedly. He pulled out his map, and saw what he had feared. He had missed the fork in the road, and was now lost in the woods. He considered if he should ride back and look for it, but it was somehow getting even darker, and the small flame in his lantern was dwindling quickly. Convincing himself that his mind was playing tricks on him earlier, he finally settled on making camp for the night. Tying Digger’s reins to a nearby tree, he set himself to work on making a camp. 

    He began by gathering firewood, thanking all the deities that he could think of for the abundance of fallen branches, – some the size of full logs – sticks, and leaves to use as kindling. Will gathered a large pile of firewood and kindling, leaving it by Digger. Then, making a ring of stones about 30 feet from the horse, he gathered a clump of kindling in the center of the circle.. Grabbing his dagger from its sheath with one hand, he reached into his bag for his flint. His hope for a large, blazing fire quickly turned to dread as he procured from his bag an ordinary stone. Frantically dropping the stone, he dug through his bag to hopefully find the small, black stone. Holding the open end of the bag towards the dying flame of the lantern, he could not spot the flint anywhere in the sack. In a final desperate move, Will unhooked the lantern from his belt, and attempted to coax the flame out of the small light box, and into the pile of kindling. It seemed almost impossible, but the small pile of kindling began to glow red and smoke. Will’s hope returned in a flood of emotions, and he sat back on his heels to take a moment to breathe. Unfortunately, it was not to last, as a sudden gust of wind blew, disturbing the barely smoking pile of dried leaves, and completely blowing out any light that was being emitted. Will’s relief turned to disbelief, and he just sat there, in total darkness, paralyzed by what he had just seen. 

    As he sat, he once again heard the noise from earlier. 

    Crunch. 

    He quickly stood up, grabbing his bow, nocking and drawing an arrow in the direction of the sound, which seemed to have come from across the river. He held the bow close to his face, waiting breathlessly for the sound to give away the position of whatever was stalking him. 

    Digger flared his nostrils and pulled against the tied reins keeping him in place. The horse’s hooves made too much noise for Will to concentrate, so he quickly moved to untie Digger. As Will loosened the knot, the telltale crunch sounded behind him. Quickly aiming his bow in the direction of the sound once more, Digger gave another strong tug against the knot, freeing the reins from the branch. Before Will could turn and stop him, Digger was galloping away, leaving Will completely stranded in the woods alone. 

Crunch. Crunch.

     Not alone. Will once again faced the direction of the noise, which now came from the direction of his attempted fire pit. Not caring that he couldn’t see, Will loosed three arrows in rapid succession, and readied a fourth. 

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. 

    Whirling around, he faced the sound that was now coming from behind him, closer than before. He fired four more arrows, hoping that at least one found its mark. 

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch-crunch-crunch. 

    The sound was moving even faster, seemingly coming from all directions at once. Will blindly fired arrows until only one remained. 

    Silence. 

    Will lowered the tension in his bow, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he was holding, hoping against hope that whatever was hunting him was dead, or left to find easier prey. He waited five minutes. Ten. Silence. Letting his arms drop to his side, his final arrow clattering to the ground beside him, Will sank to the forest floor. He sat there, letting his emotions overwhelm him. He began to quietly cry to himself, surprised he was still alive. 

     As he sat there, oblivious to the world around him, he didn’t hear another, softer sound. 

    Crunch. 

    Crunch. 

    The sound was moving closer, but Will was still oblivious. He sat there quietly. 

    The sound was about five feet from him when he looked up. He saw a pair of red dots, seemingly floating in the air in front of him. Happy to see any sort of light, he reached for the glowing orbs. And in that dark, surrounded by the trees, and the ever imposing darkness… 

    It struck.